Thursday, August 5, 2010

Girls in Black Dresses - #fridayflash



“Look,” says the holidaying salesman to his fat wife.

Her sunburnt nose is buried in a paperback.

“Connie,” he hisses, “look behind me.”

Pissed off for being interrupted, Connie turns her book upside down on her knee, sighs pointedly, and looks.

In the simmering mirage of midday sun the Mennonite women are bobbing in the crashing waves of Lake Huron. They look like black crows, floating in the aquamarine surf, a gaggle of crows, or black swans, she thinks.

Connie forgets about her book. She is drawn into their mystic.

The women in the black dresses are giggling. Their silvery voices play out on the wind. They have walked into the waves fully dressed. Long black dresses, white aprons, white caps covering hair tied in harsh chignons. There are maybe a dozen women, all of them grown, some older, some not, all slender with a lifetime of hard work. Their long arms, anointed in black sleeves, reach into the sea-green water to splash. They float, trailing yards of dark, sensible cotton, black trains down a frothy aisle of wake.

Connie stares at the women. Feels naked and awkward in her tropical flowered bathing suit. Covers herself with a towel.

Black dresses float in the waves.

Laughter floats on the wind.

Connie shivers.

33 comments:

  1. Sensible on land maybe. :)

    What book could compete with that? A captivating moment, Cathy.

    (Married, you say! I couldn't be happier for you, unless I were your fiance. Congratulations!)

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  2. Wonderful slice of life, as one peeks into the gap and finds the mystery of another lifestyle.

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  3. So evocative! I love this: "black trains down a frothy aisle of wake."

    And Connie's reaction is intriguing, too, right down to that final shiver, with so many possible interpretations.

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  4. Very neat story! Formal wear for the beach.

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  5. This is what descriptive words and phrases are supposed to be about. I loved seeing the picture, but your words made it unnecessary. Thanks to David Dale for steering me here via twitter.

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  6. This is just beautiful, Cathy. Perfect description, and the wife's irritated attitude is dead on. Love the imagery of the crows, and how much fun the women were having.

    Simply gorgeous, girl.

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  7. Superb description. Makes me want to wade into the surf in my flannel pajamas to see what reaction I get. I ove how you chose to end this as well.

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  8. That should be love, not ove. I'm not even sure what ove is.

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  9. I love the way Connie suddenly feels skimpily dressed. Lots of emotions happening. As always, I loved reading your story..:)

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  10. Ove is a many splendoured thing.

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  11. This is a lovely scene. Your imagery is beautiful. Like L'Aussie, I also love that Connie feels naked after watching these women.

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  12. I felt like I was sitting next to them, eavesdropping the conversation and following the direction of their gazes. Lovely.

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  13. Lovely imagery. Reminds me of a similar scene, Amish women at the ocean. Lyrical, and I love the way you have the wife's wistfulness/envy/regret play out. Peace...

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  14. "arms, anointed in black sleeves" ... oh Cathy. Perfect.

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  15. She should go introduce herself. Mingle. Share in the floating! You're not allowed to be a wallflower at Huron.

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  16. Congratulations on the nuptials!

    Cracking little tale this one.

    Bests

    Marc Nash

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  17. What a beautiful scene you paint. I suspect the Mennonite women were more elegant to behold than the fat wife!

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  18. What a great job setting up the dynamic between the wife and the women. And the whole thing is like a prose poem with such vivid imagery. Love it, as always.

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  19. Nice descriptions and a glimps into other peoples worlds. Nice work

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  20. Love the descriptions of the women, the water, and the wife's irritation. Good job!

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  21. Such a gorgeous juxtaposition of the Mennonite women and the narrator... And told with such a wonderful brevity!

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  22. So are you trying to decide where you'll get married? Is "in the water" one of those choices? :) Sorry, just couldn't resist, and belated congratulations by the way!

    As others have said, there is gorgeous imagery in this, and I love the ending, the whole story. Great work as usual Cathy!

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  23. Wonderful slice of life. I'm sure I've seen this couple before, maybe by a different body of water. Vivid and interesting tale.

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  24. Freakin sweet imagery. I could see them and wonderfully deliciously creepy!

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  25. Your description of the swimmers is excellent. Covering one's body in the sun is a good idea in terms of health, but of course that's not why they do it. I never really got the Mennonites. They sort of act like the Amish but they drive and use electronics and even smoke. The Amish make more sense to me, I actually admire them.

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  26. Cath - as always a great story. What a sight to behold. Mom

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  27. Love the contrast of the dark and somber dress with their frolicking, while she's dressed more casually but feeling annoyed and embarrassed. Nicely done.

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  28. I used to see the Menonites once in a while when I worked in Aylmer. That was a perfectly described scene, Cathy. Really well done.

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  29. I had to go back up and look at the picture when I read the comments - went right over my head. But the photo was completely not necessary, your description was like a painting all on its own. You captured the husband/wife interaction, and her reactions, so very well. Nicely done.

    There must be something in the air, Cathy. My big sis is also getting married. Best of luck!
    ~jon

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  30. Why do I have visions of Mrs Danvers frolicking in the surf?! Beautiful descriptions, my dear!

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  31. This was wonderful. Poor Connie looking from the outside, in.

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