Friday, July 22, 2011

Splitting Hairs - #fridayflash

"I have broken my hair," said Ravina.

You can't break hair.

"Well, I did. It busticated. Right at ear level."

Pffft.

"Look at how puffy my hair is here," she said, pointing to the pouffy sections at the side of her head, "and look how thin my hair is here." She held up the limp and somewhat dispirited lank of brittled blondness.

That is odd, I have to say. You look rather like a yellow version of Bozo the Clown. What happened?

"My ponytail ate it."

Really.

"It was too tight. Broke the hair right off at the elastic band. Then it disappeared. The hair, not the band. Wasn't in the band. Wasn't in the bed. Wasn't in the shower or my hair brush. Just gone. Like the wind. Only Scarlett O'Hara didn't have a bald spot, did she."

I couldn't argue that point, although Scarlett did have an inordinate number of hair bows. Maybe she was hiding something.

"Doubt it. She wasn't hiding her cleavage. And her lack of acting talent was certainly on display."

Cleavage? Did someone say something about cleavage?

"Anyway. I look like a freak. I can't believe I broke my hair."

Krazy Glue? It works on broken china.

"I have actually Krazy Glued broken fingernails together," Ravina said thoughtfully. "I might actually consider trying that... you know, if the ponytail hadn't eaten the hair." D'oh, she added, under her breath.

Yes, well, I have my moments. I also have teeny-tiny razor sharp teeth. And bad gas. Heh-heh. Sorry.

"What was that?" Ravina asked, disgusted.

Hairball.

16 comments:

  1. The narrator is having none of this. The perfect indignant straight man: the one who's supposed to be omniscient.

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  2. Oh well...now she can try the crazy glue technique.

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  3. Ah this is brilliant! Really made me chuckle.

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  4. Ha! Maybe she could try extensions?

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  5. What have you been drinking? And, um, may I have some please?

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  6. This was funny, really made me laugh and this sentence made me laugh out loud! " although Scarlett did have an inordinate number of hair bows. Maybe she was hiding something."

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  7. Ha! Love the crazy glue, the hair bows. Very funny delivered dry. Peace...

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  8. Hahaha, something a little out of the ordinary here, it certainly gave me a chuckle. :D

    and er.. Busticated ?? :D

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  9. Funny nuttiness Cathy. At first I thought Ravina was sharing her story with a girlfriend, then with the Crazy Glue I thought maybe Red Green. But after the, "teeny-tiny razor sharp teeth" I'm thinking Ravina's pal is a rat!

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  10. Yes, but funny is what you do, you're great at it. This was almost acrobatic. Last sentence: one word. And this sentence:

    "She held up the limp and somewhat dispirited lank of brittled blondness."

    Damn Cathy, you've smuggled poetry into this bagatelle! I'll have what you're having too.

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  11. Yeah I honed in on the same sentence as Mark. Nice. Thanks for the chuckle, but shouldn't it be Bobo the Clown? Who is this Bozo?

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  12. Ha! "I have broken my hair." I don't think I've ever heard that in a sentence before. You crack me up!

    The narrator does sound kind of...catty, don't you think? I have a strong suspicion that both of these characters have a little bit of you in them. Am I right?

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  13. Ha ha! Broken hair? So maybe that's what happened to me? I love the interaction between the girl and the narrator.

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  14. "Hairball" !!!

    Funny. Best last word of a story this week.

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  15. Busticted - Best. Word. Ever.
    Good chuckling laughs at this.
    Adam B @revhappiness

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  16. this narrator style is so different and unique, with this you can say that really you can find and fresh ideas in the scripts world.

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