Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Hair today, gone tomorrow



Oh feck, I cut all my hair off.

I've been trying to find a sprightly, cheery way to say that but, feck, it's gone, it's all gone. For the good, I suppose but still ...

I was trying to come up with a not-worst photo to show you and inadvertently I came across a photo taken last winter. I was so cute a year ago. My hair was so bouncy! So dark and shiny and fluffy. I cry looking at it, thinking, "I was so adorable and now I'm HIDEOUS."

I look like a cross between a leather-wearing butch lesbian in a biker bar and a polyster-sheathed middle-aged matron in the Bingo Barn's doughnut department. I'm not joking.

Yesterday one of the salesmen at my work came up to my desk, leaned in really close and said, "WHAT did you DO to your HAIR?"

Other people have said, "Oh, you got your hair cut!" And I've said, "yeah," and they've walked away because their mamas always told them "if you can't say anything nice, clamp your big mouth shut and RUN."

But I had to cut it. I was at "that" point – that place in life where I just couldn't colour my hair one more time.

My hair is naturally dark brown; at least it was until a hairdresser discovered grey hairs on my head when I was only 18. By the time I was 35 I was colouring my hair all the time to keep the greys at bay. For a brief period in my early 40s I let the grey grow out but with my long hair I looked like a witch, so I coloured it again and have been colouring it ever since.


With my hair so dark and the grey so light, it seemed like I was getting skunk-head within days of getting the colour done. There was a photo of me and the gang on a fishing trip. I was looking at it and asked Dave who the person with the big bald spot on the back of her head was. "You," he said, "but it's not a bald spot, it's just your roots."

"GEEZ LOUISE," I said, mortified. "You mean I was walking around looking like that?" He nodded. "Dude, I love you, but you have to TELL me when I got a skunk sitting on my head!"

Another problem with dying your hair brown is the dark pigment accumulates in your hair until it's as black as the inside of a bowling ball and, I swear this is true, you look like an Italian grandmother. It's not a flattering look. Even on Italian grandmothers. That's why they cook so good, so nobody will talk about their godawful hair.

I decided to try dying it blonde a while back, thinking it would blend in with the grey hair better, but I still had more dark hair than grey, so a minute after the bleach job, I got dark roots. SO STUPID. I was getting dark roots with blonde hair and white roots with brown hair! It was driving me CRAZY!

Then I remembered Diary of a Square-Toothed Girl, a blogger buddy named Lisa, who was also prematurely grey, but a lot braver than me. At the tender age of 32 she went to a salon and asked them to chop it all off.



She wrote, "The hair I had been fighting against for so long was gone. I had never felt so liberated from my body. Usually, it was something I fought against. Frizzy hair begging to be flat-ironed, tiny crow's feet needing moisturizer, nails and toes that need polish--the list could go on and on...there is just a lot of upkeep. And one huge item on the list was gone."

I didn't want to deal with roots growing out so I did what Lisa did. I went to the hairdresser's and had them cut it all off, about a half an inch long all over my head.

Eventually Lisa's hair grew out and now she's got this sassy, beautiful hair, complete with grey streaks. That's what I want to have happen, too. 

A year from now I'm hoping I won't look like a matronly biker dyke anymore. Just skunk-headless Cathy with a few grey streaks.

In the meantime, I'm hideous. Thought you should know. 

51 comments:

  1. Actually.......I kind of thought it made you look younger. Don't fret...I did the same thing. Got my first grey hair at 13. Coloured for years, finally gave up and got it cut short and then I had steel grey hair grow in..it actually looked good. Now it's pure white and I don't mind a bit. Low maintentance..that's the thing.

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    1. Thanks, Delores! I'm sure your hair does look great and honestly mine isn't as bad as I carry on about. I think once the last of the brown is cut off it will look even better. And you're right about the maintenance - I used to spend 15 minutes with a blow dryer. Now it's dry by the time I'm out of the bathtub!

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  2. WHOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Welcome to the crazy lesbian-biker-Bingo-polyester-sheathed-witch club! There are very few members so I will be sure to get your welcome packet to you as soon as possible. Inside you will find a badge that reads, "I'M A SERIOUS BADASS, SO DON'T FECK WITH ME." $20 in cash for a new pair of earrings to remind you that you are still a woman (just in case your husband forgets to grope your boobs one evening)and some mascara, because those hairs still need to be dark.

    I'd also like to nominate you as Vice-President. Your duties will include encouraging other like minded women to let go of society's pressure for women to be sexy all the time and value what is REALLY important, and that's the character we build within. Additional responsibilities include not bagging on your new haircut and remembering that hair grows fast and it won't be that short forever, and when it does grow out, you won't ever have to dye it again.
    You also have to bring Tim Horton's donuts to our monthly meetings because I really REALLY miss eating them. ;)

    SO, to summarize: 1) Welcome! 2)You're BADASS! 3)You're now vice-president of the butch-witch-club 4)Play up your eyes and wear earrings to feel a bit more feminine and 5) Bring donuts. :)

    Seriously, you look amazing. I know it feels scary. The first week, every time I passed a mirror, I just about passed out. You will get used to it as you let go of what was ans embrace what is. And what is, is this: BEAUTIFUL YOU.
    xo!

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    1. P.S. Your eyebrows are AWESOME. In trying to control the one Greek eyebrow (that will grow straight off of my face and onto yours) I've tweezed them within an inch of their life and now have to fill in the gaps with eyebrow pencil, making me look more like an Italian grandmother than you ever could. :)

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    2. Lisa, I can't BELIEVE everyone is commenting on my eyebrows. I don't do a darned thing to them. I used to say to Dave, "do you like my eyebrows?" Which is a stupid thing to ask a man. (Ask him if he likes your hooters and he'll give you a happier answer.)

      Anyway, I didn't think I did you justice with this post. You really are my inspiration for letting my hair grow out. I read your post about grey hair AGES ago and have been thinking about it ever since. So thank you, really, thank you. YOU are the badass, madame, and hopefully always will be! ox

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  3. And, with that sassy new haircut I can see your gorgeous, shapely eyebrows which have me GREEN with envy. I also went grey early - but decided what the hell. I am now dark and curly with grey and curlier bits. And it is very, very low maintenance. Wash and wear hair is sooooo liberating. As you said, yours is nothing like as bad as you say.

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    1. It IS liberating! Honestly, it has given me SO much more time in the morning - more time to watch TV and drink coffee and goof around! Yes, I have been on time for work EVERY SINGLE DAY since I got my hair cut!

      (I am SUCH a liar.)

      If you want my eyebrows, they are yours. I shall shave them off and mail them to you.

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  4. Nothing wrong with biker chicks.
    the Ol'Buzzard

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  5. Good on you Cathy - and you look great.
    It is scary though isn't it? There is a bit of grief about getting it all cut off.
    Hopefully no one will ask you if you are getting chemo ... they asked me.
    I think also, the natural assumption that I was seething with head lice.
    Your hair will grow back beautiful. Good on you for taking such a decisive step.

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    1. Head lice? I didn't even THINK about head lice! heheheheh Maybe that's what I'll tell the next person who asks. One obnoxious person asked me why I cut my hair and, with a straight face, I said it was the chemo. You should have seen him. I only let him squirm for a few seconds, though, because that was a mean thing to do. Still, I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!

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  6. You still look cute & bouncy, Cathy ! Funny you did this "chop" it crossed my mind too, but then my stress wrinkles that adorned my face two years ago would even be more out front and center. I really enjoyed my first belly laugh of the day thanks to your skunk head !

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    1. Oh, I've got wrinkles too, trust me. Right now all my wrinkles are puffed up with magic wrinkle-reducing flab, but I'm on my diet again so those wrinkles will be be stronger any day now!

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  7. PS Maybe we could use our 52 Week Money Challenge Money on hairdressers next year, I am sure that is what some ppl spend on their hair some years !

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    1. I think we should use that money to hire cabana boys to massage away our stress wrinkles.

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  8. I'v worn my hair short most of my life and love it! I don't have the patience, the desire or the skill to fuss with it and it just suits me. Especially in the heat of summer - it feels amazing!

    Of course, now the gray is showing itself and I'm blending it a bit with highlights. Not sure how long that will work or what I'll do then but that's okay. :)

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    1. It does feel amazing already, I'm with ya Madeline! I can hardly wait for swimming season - no wet hair hanging down the back of your neck for an hour! I hate wet hair, especially at bedtime, and never washed it in the evening because of that. Now I can bath right before bed and still have dry hair on the pillow. How cool is that!!!!

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  9. You crack me up!!!!!!! I need to get my hair trimmed....i refuse to cut it all off. You can call me Samson if you want but I think it may be the source of my creativity. Like I used to rock Wheel of Fortune. I could guess the puzzles with just 2 or 3 letters. Then I had a wisdom tooth pulled and lost my Wheelability.

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    1. You lost your "wheelability?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You say I crack you up? You crack me up more!!!

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  10. I think of my gray as highlights. ;) At the moment my hair is shoulder length, not short like in my picture and it's driving me nuts. I keep hacking at it with kitchen scissors but someday I'll actually go pay someone to professionally take a weed-whacker to it.

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    1. Ooooh! You should have a new photo taken, Laura!!! I wanna see your long hair!

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  11. Thanks for sharing ;) I also have grey... but it's blonde so it's not so bad. I often think of cutting it all off... just one big CHOP!!! But alas, I am not so brave.

    I think of my friend from college who after several Chemo treatments, has lost all her hair. Each time it has grown back different. Sometimes bleached blonde, sometimes bone straight, and other times Shirley temple curly. She learned a long time to embrace what comes next, because she is alive to do so.

    But then she died it pink and blue...

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    1. You lucky blondes! First you're the belle of all the balls when you're young, then your grey hair doesn't show! Not that I'm bitter at all, Juli, not bitter at all... *wailing and gnashing my teeth*

      Good on your friend for the pink and blue. I love her attitude! We are lucky to be alive and, ask any bald dude, we're lucky to have hair at all!

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  12. It does make you look younger. Maybe more intelligent...maybe a bit biker lesbian, but who cares what people think? I've just had my waist long hair hacked off, and I'm getting used to it. I'm working my way gently to short haor, because life is too short to blow dry anything.

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    1. Younger? More intelligent? You are my new favourite person, Rebecca!!!
      And yeah, life IS too short for blow dryers. If I think how much time I wasted drying my hair over the years, geez, I could have done something useful - like, I dunno, eating Twinkies! :)

      My blow dryer and curlers are now stored in the back of the closet, which is where they belong!

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  13. I decided to quit trying to fight 'the grey' with an all-over colour and my very clever hairdresser started putting in blonde highlights on every other cut - so now it's a sort of subtle 'pepper and salt' colour!

    I think the shorter cut makes you look younger, Cathy - stick with it! I agree with 'The Elephants Child' - your eyebrows look gorgeous (jealous envy rising here!!)

    (and hopefully, I might get to see for myself in person later in the year - sorting out dates for a trip over!)

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    1. That would be SO AWESOME, Sue, it really would!!! Fingers, eyes and eyebrows crossed that it works out!!

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  14. Looks good, Cathy!

    I've gone with the cueball look for some years now. Had my head shaved for a cancer benefit, found out I liked the way it looked, and kept it that way. Bloody cold in the winter though, but I'd have ended up losing it sooner or later. This way it was on my own terms.

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    1. From what I can see you are rocking the bald look! And not all guys can do it, so kudos to you! But yeah, I need to invest in some new hats. (Yay! Shopping!)

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  15. New hair means a new you. Good for you for being your own person. Plus, hair always grows back, and then you are a new person all over again.

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    1. Yes, Jenn, hair DOES always grow back - especially where you don't want it to!!!!! (My legs? That's a whole 'nother story!)

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  16. Skunk sitting on my head - funny!
    I'm grey now and I don't even care.
    Have some fun with your short hair. Punk it up and see what the people at work say.

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    1. I can't believe you have grey hair, Alex. I always think of you as, like, 12 or something. Just a young 'un!

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  17. Like yourself, I too went "skunk" prematurely.

    Been painting over a decade; and at 47 I only ever do my roots (at home with a brush) every three weeks or so. My hair is healthy but I have to baby it.

    Glass half full? "There's only a couple of weeks between a good hair cut and a bad one!" It grows back on ya... Kind of like a a cheating husband never will right?

    Cheers CO-W ;)

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    1. HA! "Like a cheating husband!" You betcha!

      I love that you put the hyphen in COW! Obviously I wasn't thinking when I put Cathy Olliffe-Webster together!!!

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  18. You know Cathy, I got breast cancer at age 45 and ever since the chemo I have gradually become more and more sensitive to things, medications especially, but the one thing that also happened was that I become allergic to hair dye so I had no choice but to let my nearly black hair turn naturally. It was so liberating not to have to worry about that. Now my head is a full silver - yes I'm lucky my grey is silver but you know not having to colour my hair was one less worry and expense I didn't need.

    Letting your hair go grey is natural process of life. It marks one coming of age ^__^

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    1. You have beautiful silver hair, Helen. Just like my mom's. Her hair was jet black when she was young and it turned the most gorgeous shade of silver.

      And yes, letting it go is a natural process. That part of all this makes me a little sad though...

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  19. 4 years ago I got sick of my hair and cut it all off a la the chick in the Thompson Twins. It looked great and wild. For 2 days. No matter what I did I couldn't restyle it the way it'd been done by the pro. My little brother Seth was a hairdresser. I don't have the face or head for short hair but every few years, he'd talk me into cutting it all off. Every time I'd look like a fat Liza Minnelli.

    I have dark hair too, with plenty of gray since my 30s. Somewhere along the way I began putting lightest ash blonde on my hair. It doesn't get anywhere near blonde but it tones the gray down from shimmering and gives me an auburn color. Every couple of years I give it a dark red and then go back to blonding. So far, so good.

    Enjoy your short hair for the freedom! It'll grow out anyway. For me, it was too much hassle to keep short. And I never looked as good as you do.

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    1. HAHAHAHAHAHA! "Every time I'd look like a fat Liza Minnelli." Omigawd that's funny. And true for me, also! I think you have to be really thin, a la Audrey Hepburn, to successfully pull off very short hair. It's that whole swanlike neck thing!

      But who gives a feck! I'm never gonna look like Audrey, so Fat Liza here I come! Woot!

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  20. I don't think you're hideous at all, Cathy. The short hair compliments your face. Maybe it'd be more complimentary with a big grin, but I can just see how that would work. I like it.

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  21. Dudette, if I didn't know you better I might think you're serious! Hideous! No way Hozay! Oh the grief we put ourselves through for our crowning glory! I decided to go platinum blonde and it works for me! One day my 'naturals' will catch up!
    Nice to hear from you again you matronly biker dyke and skunk-headless Cathy with a few grey streaks.

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    1. Dudette! You called me Dudette! Denise, you are about the coolest person I know. "Dudette." Love it!

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  22. Oh Cathy you are Beautiful! I know what you mean though, I'm at the point where I'm ready to do the same thing. I've dyed my hair since I saw the first gray one - at only 23-years-old - but now I'm having to dye it every three weeks at least to keep the grays at bay and it's getting to be a bit too expensive, (and aggravating). So, maybe....
    Thanks for sharing your experience and making me crack up! :)

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    1. Give in to the gray, Deanna! Maybe if we all do it at once we can start a trend!!!!

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  23. I think it looks fun and funky and cute! My Mommeh is still at the stage where she can pluck the greys one hair at a time... but if she keeps that up, she'll be bald eventually!

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  24. Cathy, I'll be honest - I like you better with longer hair and I hope your hair grow quickly, no matter what color.

    I am in the same boat except that my hair are all gray now. Last week I was offered a seniors discount - twice in one week! I do not think it is my age, is the freaking hair. I think I will try low lights, you know, some dark stricks... It is soooo frustrating!

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  25. You are too funny! I've gone shorter, too. You know, the thing about hair is it grows back. Usually better. I recall a quote by Churchill... something about a woman calling him a drunk. He told her at least he would wake up in the morning sober, but she would still be... whatever!
    Cheers from Cottage Country!

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  26. I am gray all the way. And I hate it. I also hate my hair style in general. I think you are very brave for cutting it. I am still too chicken to make a move. Darn those blondey bears who don't ever have to worry about looking like a witch.

    The whole biker dyke butch comment had me LMAO. Seriously hilarious!

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