16 Books To Read Before They Hit Theatres This Year

A couple of weeks back I saw this link on Facebook, 16 Books to Read Before They Hit Theatres This Year, and I got really excited. I'm a big fan of the movies but I don't keep track of what movies are based on what books – it usually all hits me later and by that time it's too late to read the book in advance. I don't know about you, but I like to read the book first because usually the book is better.

Take one of my all-time favourite novels, The Shipping News, for example. The book is magnificent. If I could only recommend one book to you, it would be that. The movie, on the other hand, was a profound disappointment. Physically, Kevin Spacey wasn't even close to resembling the bumbling, bear-like largesse of Quoyle, the main character. The story wasn't adequately described. The book's play on newspaper headlines was ignored and one of Quoyle's daughters disappeared completely. Gordon Pinsent and Judi Dench were right on the money, absolutely perfect, and Newfoundland's austerely gorgeous scenery was magnificent, but the rest of the movie was as close to suckage as suckage gets.

Anyway, I do appreciate Arielle Calderon at Buzzfeed for organizing all the books-to-movies being released this year in one tidy list. I appreciated it so much that I immediately took Dave's credit card shopping at Amazon (sorry honey, I meant to mention this earlier) and purchased a bunch of books on that list. (By the way, I'd like to point out that MY book is two-thirds cheaper than all the books on this list... just saying...)

I don't have a hope in hell of getting all these books read in time but I am giving it my best college try and, if you want to join me in this ridiculous quest, I'd love to have you along. It would be fun to hear what other people think of the books I'm ploughing through.

The first book I read was Labor Day by Joyce Maynard. LOVED IT. It's a quick read – those faster readers than me will breeze through it in a couple of evenings. It's about a divorced mother and her adolescent son who run into an escaped criminal. He winds up spending the Labor day weekend with them and changing their lives. It's simple, it's well-told and it stole my heart. I think Josh Brolin, who I fell in love with when he starred in No Country For Old Men, and Miss Awesomesauce herself Kate Winslet will more than do the characters justice and I can't wait to see the movie. By the way, I hadn't really heard of author Joyce Maynard before (d'oh) but now I realize she wrote To Die For, the book that spawned the movie of the same name starring Nicole Kidman. I think I'm becoming a fan of Mizz Maynard, which is a good thing, since she's got a long list of titles to explore.

Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin star in Labor Day. Release date: Jan. 31.

I'm about a quarter of the way through Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin. It's considerably longer and not what I'd call an easy read. Still, it is a glorious book bursting with imagination and romance – not just romance as in love, but the romance of stars in a brilliant night sky, industrial-age New York City in swirling snowstorms, bigger than life characters and bigger than life adventure. The prose is stunning – so much so that I find myself reading particularly beautiful passages out loud to Dave as we snuggle into our own bed on cold winter's nights. It makes me sigh, just thinking about it. The book, not me and Dave in bed ...

As I say, I'm only a quarter of the way through SO DON'T TELL ME HOW IT ENDS, but I wanted to let you know I've taken on this foolish plan of reading all these books and then seeing all the movies, just in case you want to join me.

To be fair, I'm probably not going to read ALL the books on the list, or some I'll leave till the end, just because they don't interest me that much. These are the books I've purchased so far:

Labor Day by Joyce Maynard

The Monuments Men by Robert M. Edsel and Bret Witter

Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin

A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby

Divergent by Veronica Roth

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

The Hundred-Foot Journey by Richard C. Morais

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

Serena by Ron Rash

Gone Girl, also by Gillian Flynn, is also on the list but I've already read it (loved it) and can't wait to see Ben Affleck in one of the starring roles. I'm a big fan of Ben since Argo. AND I can't wait for Serena, which will star my favourite actress on the planet, Jennifer Lawrence. I'd pay to see that woman in an Alpo commercial, I swear!

So, have you read any of these? What did you think? Looking forward to the movies? How was your weekend? How is your husband/wife/dog/cat/kid/kids/job/meat loaf? What are you making for supper tonight? Anything good? Can I come?

Lady Grantham-Webster

I'm rather thinking of myself today as Lady Grantham, or perhaps Countess Violet. I am the head of my household, after all. It is my place to keep the servants busy, Lord Webster satisfied and myself adorned in an appropriate fashion.

To this end I have just had a bubble bath whilst eating Chips Ahoy cookies dunked in milk. Did you realize that bubbles are quite white, while milk is more of a creamy colour? I didn't know that until just now. I must say, however, Chips Ahoy have far too many chocolate chips these days. They used to be the perfect consistency for milk-dipping but now one must chew because of all the chips. This is rather inconvenient as it involves muscular activity. You just can't get good cookies anymore.

I am not a great fan of housecleaning but I find it helps to think of my home as my estate. I imagine myself as maid Sarah O'Brien when I am cleaning the kitty litter because she is quite a puckered-face bitch and deserves to dig around in the cat turds. In fact everything was just lovely in the house until a few moments ago when one of our cats puked in the downstairs bathroom. Perhaps I will channel a little Thomas Barrow when I go to clean that mess up because if anyone needs a kick in the arse, it's him.

I've been quite hooked on Downton Abbey, as of late. Please don't fill me in on the latest details because I am Netflix-ing it and am only allowed to watch until the end of season two.

I have had the most difficult time not saying Downtown Abbey and imagined, at first gasp, that this addictive British drama was about a flock of nuns sharing a flat with Petula Clark.

Popcorn

I was just now hanging out at someone else's blog and I read a comment from a commenter, because that's what commenters do, comment, about how she detests movie popcorn butter and can't even finish a tiny bag of popcorn at the movie theatre.

Everyone's entitled to their opinion, of course, but hers is just wrong.

Popcorn is the only reason to go see a movie, especially if it's a bad movie, especially especially if it's Les Miserables, and if you're going to order popcorn, you have to order extra butter, even if it's fakey butter, and if you have to have it layered throughout the ginormously XXXL bag, to the point where it's slimy and the 12-year-old boy behind the counter in the hideous polyester-doubleknit uniform replete with matching hairnet, wants to bitch-slap you.

If you can't finish the entire bag that evening, you eat it for breakfast the next morning.

That is what is Natural and Right and the Way Gawd Intended. People who do not eat popcorn this way are one step away from bestiality and Hell in a Handcart.

What Works? Peterborough Sings worked!

What? It's January 20 already? How did THAT happen?

Well, if it's Jan. 20, it's time for "What Works: An Online Marketing Symposium." If you've been wondering how best to market a product in these weird but brave economic times, you may want to check this out. Bloggers from around the globe have posted their ideas on what works and what doesn't, marketing-wise. I'm as curious as everyone else – I'm dying to know some "secret way" to get readers to find my book ... and my body, of course. Since novel-writing isn't as lucrative as I had hoped, I was thinking maybe I'd sell my, ahem, curvaceous and only slightly used body to the highest bidder.

I like to think I know a little about marketing. Back in my days as a newspaper reporter I came up with several cool community ideas, worked them out, promoted them, and had excellent success.

My absolute best idea was Peterborough Sings.

It was late fall in the mid-90s. My ex-husband had just spent some time in a recording studio laying down some tracks with his band and, just for fun, I recorded a song, too. I was thrilled with the results. Somehow the professional techniques of the studio made me sound not half-bad and I had a ton of fun doing the recording. One day I was driving to work at Peterborough This Week, the newspaper I worked for at the time, and I came up with an idea to get local singers into a studio.

The idea quickly blossomed inside my excited head and this is what happened: local singers would tape themselves singing a Christmas carol and send the cassette (this was the '90s) to me at Peterborough This Week. I would round up a few judges with experience in the music business, and have them pick 10 winners. Those winners would go to a studio and record their carol. A cassette would be made with all the winning songs on it and then sold. The proceeds would go to the Salvation Army Christmas Hamper Drive.

Looking back on it now, I don't know if I would take a project like that on. It was a HUGE amount of work but the results were SO worth it! We had some awesome amateur singers get some exposure, the Salvation Army got a lot of money and our newspaper gained attention as a real "giver" in the community.

So how did I do it?

1. Be fearless. I championed my idea and didn't take no for an answer. Be your project's "champion."

2. Involve others who can help in areas you can't. For example, one of my judges was a popular disc jockey at the local radio station. He brought the station on board with free commercials advertising the project and playing the final tape on air. In return, the newspaper printed free ads for the radio station.

The owner of a local recording studio volunteered his time and his studio to do the actual recordings. In return, the paper gave him free advertising and plenty of goodwill plugs.

A printing company printed our cassette liners (that I designed on the computers at work) in return for advertising and we bought our cases at cost. The newspaper's photographer dressed her niece up like an angel and took a wonderful photo for the liner.

3. Be organized. I had a lot of balls in the air during this two-month long project and there were some pretty crazy days along the way. But someone had to be the "point man" in order to "git er done" and that point man was me.

4. Advertise, advertise, advertise. Use every avenue you can think of to promote your project. Newspapers, radio, TV, posters and, most importantly, word of mouth. Traditional advertising may be out of reach for most people, but that doesn't mean you can't negotiate deals or send in press releases for free publicity. Either learn how to write a professional press release or hire someone to do it for you. This is not the time to write a lame, uninspired letter to a newspaper begging for some ink. Learn how to attract an editor's attention. Be enthusiastic. Editors tend to be jaded people – it takes a lot to win them over.

Doing your own marketing isn't easy and I think it's getting harder and harder all the time, but no one will ever be as enthusiastic about your project as you are, and thus no one will do a better job at promoting it. Good luck!

P.S. - I just read the most inspirational post from a fellow writer who, like me, is terrified of public speaking and promotion. Kevin Craig isn't part of this blog tour but, honestly, his words will inspire you. Click HERE to be inspired!

To see what other bloggers are saying in the symposium, click one of the following links:

1. Arlee Bird's Tossing It Out	2. Yolanda Renee at Defending the Pen
3. Ninja Captain Alex J. Cavanaugh	4. Jeremy Hawkins at Being Retro
5. Insecure Writer's Support Group	6. Blogging from A to Z Challenge
7. C. M. Brown	8. Aloha! Mark Koopmans says hi from HI
9. ShirleyisNotmyName	10. Writing Wings
11. M. J. Joachim's Writing Tips	12. Spunk On A Stick's Tips
13. Ink & Alchemy	14. Christine Rains
15. J. L. Campbell	16. WRITING IN THE CROSSHAIRS
17. Stephen Tremp	18. Philipscom/Ariel's Jottings
19. Regarding Silexare	20. Notes Along the Way - Mary Montague Sikes
21. Susan Says	22. Jay Noel
23. Crystal Collier	24. Sandra Ulbrich Almazan--Speculative Fiction Author
25. Livia Peterson - Leave it to Livia	26. PK HREZO
27. The Write Game	28. The Open Vein - E. J. Wesley
29. Tyrean's Writing Spot	30. Sydney Aaliyah Michelle
31. About Myself, By Myself	32. Sharon Bayliss
33. Julie Flanders	34. Ella's Edge
35. Swagger Writers	36. Laura Pauling
37. Elizabeth Seckman	38. Liz Fichera
39. Trisha @ WORD+STUFF	40. Angela Brown in the Pursuit of Publishness
41. Marc Castro's Iblogstartup	42. Mama Diaries
43. Literary Chick	44. Cold Lake Cathy
45. Official Site of Horror Author Alex Layourne	46. Chrys Fey
47. Jemima Pett	48. The Musings of a Hopeful and Pecunious Wordsmith
49. Scribbler's Sojourn	50. tara tyler
51. Steven Symes, Writer	52. Meetings with My Muse
53. Dreamer's Perch	54. Sand Castles and Snow Forts
55. Nicki Elson	56. Huntress
57. Buck Inspire	58. Storypot
59. The Story of a Writer	60. Ellie Garratt
61. melanie schulz	62. Carrie-Anne's Magick Theatre
63. Optionbeast	64. Coming Down the Mountain

The near miss

You've had a near miss, right?

Something BAD has almost happened and your heart stops then starts beating as fast as the Roadrunner on bennies, and you think, HOLY CRAP THAT WAS CLOSE.

That happened to me, just now.

I had a bubble bath, because I'm a spoiled rotten lazy housewife who can have a bubble bath in the middle of the day, and then I did the aprés-bath stuff I detest – putting moisturizer goop on my face and deodorant under my pits and drying/styling my hair.

"Getting ready," it's called. I fecking hate getting ready. It's the worst part of my month day. It's just so boring and, worse, it has to be done over and over again. Bah. It's as bad as dishes. At least I have a dishwasher. I do wish I had something comparable in the vast and complicated arena of personal grooming. Something Jetson-like I could step into after the bath that would goop, deodorize and style my sad self in one fell swoop.

Anyway, I did all the aprés crap and then headed back to the bathroom to pick up towels and rinse the sadly used and dirt-crusted now bubble-less bubbles down the drain.

I picked up the shower wand, turned on the water and realized, in one rare moment of terror-coated lucidity, that the wand was pointed towards my freshly aprés-ed face.

It takes about a second for the powerful stream of water to rush down the hose and burst out of the head.

Somehow, some way, I turned the shower head away from my newly coiffed head in the absolute nick of time.

What on earth would have happened if I hadn't acted so quickly? It just doesn't bear thinking about, that's all.

Now excuse me while I go change my gotchies.