Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Thanks, Etta


I didn't think it would happen, actually. I was so wrapped up in getting one book written that I never thought I'd get around to even thinking about another one. Lately though there's been a character percolating in my old brain, just an idea, that's all.

Then last night I was driving home listening to At Last by Etta James and it hit me like a drunk with the burning reds – what she'd be like, this character. I could see her, what she looked like, what her apartment looked like, the art posters on her wall, old blues on her stereo, a glass of gin on the rocks in her hand.

I listened to that song several times in a row, hitting replay over and over as ideas took shape and, later, the mystery of it all, the crazy out of the blue magic of it, kept my eyes on the bedroom ceiling as the minutes ticked by into the dark rain of this new day.

This morning I did a quick Google before work and found out more about James. A white Canadian girl raised on Tommy Hunter and The Lawrence Welk Show, I don't know nothin' about the blues or about James, other than At Last was Barack Obama's inauguration song and he and Michelle sure looked pretty dancing close on the tender evening.

The more I found out about Etta James, the more songs I listened to, the more my character rose from the smoky wisps of imagination.

I'm going to be singing this one all day.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Genre Favourites Blogfest - Genre? What genre?


Just back from yet another weekend camping, a glorious one, I might add, only to remember that I'd signed up for Alex J. Cavanaugh's Genre Favourites Blogfest. Ye gods, I can barely see through the yawn-induced rivers seeping through my crusty eyes, never mind think clearly. For one panicked moment I thought about bailing on the blogfest but then I realized Alex has the easiest fests in the blog biz so I poured some coffee and put on a sweater (because it's frickin' freezing in here) and got to it. 

If you'd like to join in the fun (and Alex's bloghops are always fun), click HERE. In the meantime, here's the rules:

One blogfest, four favorites!
List your favorite genre of:
Movie
Music
Books
And a guilty pleasure genre from any of the three categories!

Now here's the thing – I don't really think in terms of genres and there's nothing I won't read/listen to/watch as long as it's well crafted. For example, I love Stephen King's books but I don't read them because they're horror, I read them because his writing is so darned good that he sucks me into the story. I mention King because I had a dream about him last night. He was doing a charity event in our town and for some reason only a few people showed up. I casually told him that I had just finished the first draft of my book and he asked to read it. (He did! He asked ME! I didn't even hound him – I know, hard to believe.) Then he offered some constructive criticism and told me he liked it, but then our cat started yeowling and Dave yelled "SHUT UP," and King's dear face disappeared in an obtrusive cloud of consciousness. 

The upshot is I have to think long and hard about what genres I DO prefer.

Movie: Chick flicks, I guess, even though I'm not sure what that term means to most people. In our house "chick flick" means anything that doesn't involve car chases, spaceships and fight scenes. It means that, for every nine Avengers, Bournes and Batman movies, I get to see one Hope Springs. My favourite movie is the kind that makes me laugh out loud and cry in the same breath. It makes me fall in love with the characters. It expands my horizons and makes me think. It lingers with me for days afterward and I talk about it to everyone who will listen. That's my favourite movie genre.

Music: Folk, I guess. Quiet music, beautiful lyrics. One of my favourite songs of all time is America by Simon & Garfunkel, but I also love I Feel Pretty from West Side Story. Go figure.


Books: No genre, just good writing. Two of the best books I read this year were completely different: City of Thieves by David Benioff and Still Alice by Lisa Genova. One is a survivalist adventure involving two men on an unusual quest. The other is about a woman with early onset Alzheimer's. As I write this I'm in the middle of Carrie Clevenger's Crooked Fang, about a bass-playing vampire. So you see, I'm all over the map.

Guilty Pleasure: True crime books, especially by Ann Rule, the more blood and guts the better. (I know, I'm sick, I can't help it.)

Wanna tell the world what your favourites are? Go see Alex! And happy Monday, everyone!



Thursday, September 13, 2012

Me and Laura go camping with Sue and antics ensue


Laura Eno will not go camping with me.

I never figured her for some girly-girl but apparently her concept of being one with nature consists of listening to the spindly philodendron on her desk crying for a mercy killing, and scooping piles of dog crap the size of Buicks from her Astroturfed backyard. (I've seen pictures of her dogs – I can't even imagine the turds those sons and daughters of Jezebel must produce.)

Which makes me want to drag her sunless carcass into the great outdoors even more. I bet she hasn't seen the sun since 1973. I bet Xan Marcelles sees more sunlight than Laura does. And he's a goldurned bloodsucking vampire.

Me, I love camping. Am going camping this weekend, as a matter of fact (and so will be internet-free... again....) (Thanks to Babs and Henry LaRue for housesitting  - please don't let your rottweiler eat the couch this time, OK? Beast is the size of a Volkswagen. Why can't people have freaking normal sized dogs?)

I invited Laura to come along but she as refused because she's a big wussy-pants.

She'll be wishing she was fishing (yes I'm a poet) with me, however, because now she's in deep trouble over at I Refuse To Go Quietly. Fellow Friday Flash alumni Sue Harding noticed Laura's camp-phobia and wrote a very, very scary (more poetry) story about me and Mizz Eno going camping together.

Of course I think it's the bees knees (poetry) being the subject of a Sue Harding story. Even though the ending

FREAKS.

ME.

OUT.

You'll have to go see for yourself what that ending is cause I'm not gonna tell you.

Let me just say, my fingernail polish really is pink. Really.

Now. Off to catch some lunkers. Coming, Laura? (Wussy-pants.)

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Life is weird and so are turkeys

Life is weird, isn't it?

Like the wild turkeys I see in this guy's backyard on Highway 118. Every morning I see these turkeys. About a dozen of them, pecking at grass like great globular giant chickens, rotund as satellite dishes and just as ugly. Stupid as dirt they are, but stupid in a good way. Like, I can't help smiling at them. I see them and my mouth rounds to a dimpled "oh" that stretches out to a broad grin as I squeal, "TURKEYS," as if I didn't see them yesterday or the day before. So who's the stupid one, you might well ask. But I can't help it. They're so new on the birding scene. It's still a thrill to see their vast ridiculousness hobnobbing with chickadees in the Muskoka countryside.

If turkeys were in a movie they'd be played by Shrek.

I've often wondered how anything that big, dumb and delicious manages to survive in the wild. They might as well have slow moving vehicle signs pasted on their plump and pointy feathered derrieres. With all the wolves, fishers, bears and men in orange hats around here, it's a wonder there are any turkeys left. But there they are, gobbling at the side of Highway 118 every morning, seemingly unscathed by canine teeth, talons or birdshot.

What kills me though, absolutely kills me, is where, exactly, these dumb birds are hanging out.

At a hunter's house.

Well, I'm not absolutely positive it's a hunter's house. I mean, I didn't go up to the front door and ask to see an outdoors card, but I'm pretty sure the plastic deer in the backyard with an arrow-catching backdrop behind it is a good indication that somebody in the house is practising their bow-hunting skills for deer season.

Either that or it's the summer home of Katniss from The Hunger Games.

Regardless, it astounds me that the turkeys have chosen this yard to hang out in. Right in front of the plastic deer. Maybe they think Katniss only hunts deer, having a plastic deer in the yard and not a plastic turkey. Dudes, I've seen The Hunger Games and she's slung several dumb birds over her shoulder. I'm not sure what kind of birds they were but they had x-marks where their eyeballs used to be which is usually a sign that they'd be first in line at triage in emerg.

I try to tell them that this is not a safe place to hunt and scratch but they don't listen. They barely even lift their heads as I wind down he car window, stick my neck into the stiff September breeze and waggle my tongue against the roof of my mouth in a yodelling "bluddabluddabludda" that sounds exactly like a turkey gobble.

A guy at work whose brother-in-law's uncle twice removed invented a turkey caller gadget, brought this amazing TV-style offering into the office one day and passed one out to everybody. Since then I have been dutifully blowing spit into it but I can't make it work. It sounds more like a ripe raspberry, or one of my own brother-in-law's infamous campfire farts, than a turkey call.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who does drive-by turkey gobbling. My husband does it, too. We both wind down our windows and gobble as loud as we possibly can, much to the utter mortification of our children in the back seat. I tell the kids, hey, it's the thing to do. Everybody gobbles at turkeys. Wouldn't it be great to set up a Stealth -Cam at the side of the road and take pictures of all the humans gobbling as they go by? I'm sure this is an endless source of entertainment for the turkeys. Chicken-necked humans rolling their tongues and spraying spit everywhere, braying like donkeys.

In fact, that's probably why they're hanging out at the side of Highway 118 all the time. Human watching. Giggling and gobbling over the infinite stupidity of giant pasty-faced, featherless, wingless, brainless humans, no doubt saying, "And they say WE'RE stupid."

Life is weird, isn't it?

Monday, September 10, 2012

Act now and you can have your tarot cards read for free! Also, a wee chat with Mizz Helen Howell

 Good  morning everyone! Of course it's not morning everywhere in blogland, especially in Australia where author Helen Howell is probably just crawling into bed as I'm polishing off my first cup of joe. You know Helen, right? She's one of my Friday Flash buddies, a writer who has just published her first book, a young adult novelette called Jumping At Shadows.

Not only have I read it, I had the distinct honour of being one of Helen's beta readers. I had never beta read an entire book before and, whew, I have new respect for all editors of all books (especially the lovely Mizz Laurita Miller who is currently editing my own). It's a lot of work! I mean, it's fun work, but it's still work, trying to help the author make it the best work she possibly can. Luckily Helen's book didn't need much polishing up and her story made the task a joy. If you haven't picked up a copy yet, you can find it at Smashwords and Amazon.

In the meantime, did you know Helen reads tarot cards? Not only that, she's willing to give free readings to the first five people who speak up in the comments. FREE READINGS. I know, right? How cool is that? 

So go get your glass and put it up to the wall and listen in as me and lovely Helen have a wee chat.



Hey Helen!
How are things on your side of the world?
So I've put together a few questions for you and am hoping you'll have fun with the answers. Ready?

Okay here we go! ^__^

You're a magical woman, Helen Howell. Your new novelette, Jumping At Shadows, has a lot to do with magic and mystery, and it features a crystal ball on the cover. In real life you do tarot card readings. Which makes me wonder – how big a part does magic play in your own life and did your experiences play a part in the writing of your book?

Ah, life is full of magic! You just have to look around you to see. ^__^ I've always been, right from the start, what I suppose others call psychic. I don't like to use that label. But I have through different periods of my life seen ghosts, and sometimes just known when things are going to happen. I like to think of it as a tuned in intuition. Magic or the concept of magic and the imagination to believe in it, has always been part of me. I guess that's why I like to read among other things, middle grade fantasy. Hey what little girl doesn't want to believe there are fairies at the bottom of the garden?

My novella was not influenced by my belief in magic but rather by those books in the fantasy fiction genre I like to read. Alice in Wonderland being one of the first and I recently got a new illustrated edition of this. Harry Potter - read 'em all. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe just to name a few.

Jumping At Shadows is described as a magical adventure. My heroine Belle and her side kick Rosy, both love to read magical books. When they find themselves in the alternative world what they experience does seem like magic to them. But in reality all the gadgets that make things happen, with the exception of the crystals, were invented by Rhubost, (Belle's distant relative). So although the book has a strong magical feel to it, it could also be described as soft science fiction.

How DO you do a tarot reading and how much faith do you have in the results?

There are two schools of thought about how one reads tarot, that is the predictive reading or proactive reading. Predictive sort of speaks for itself. You tell the person what is going to happen. Proactive is where you help the seeker to make the best decision for themselves. Having said that, there is always a certain amount of prediction within a reading, but by doing proactive you help the person to see the advantages or pitfalls to certain directions. With proactive reading you encourage the seeker to ask open ended questions - for example, what, how, where - What do I need to do etc? or How can I improve my relationship with x? As opposed to asking: Does Fred love me? or will I get the job? Both these last two questions tend to need a yes no answer, which of course tarot can do, however it would be far more productive for example to ask What do I need to do to give myself the best shot at this job?

Tarot has long been thought of as a 'fortune telling' tool but it's so much more when used well. It can be a tool for self growth and one that helps you gain insight in order to make the best decisions for yourself. When I had a tarot reading website this is how I describe how I felt tarot worked:

I believe that the Tarot works in a way that connects to our energy and becomes a tool that enables contact with our higher self. This helps us to become enlightened about the choices we have and the possibilities that may be available, but remembers that we also have free will so those possibilities are changeable and depend on the choices we make.

When you have a reading the influence it may have on your life is that it can cause you to look where you have not thought to look before. By exploring beyond normal perception you can gain a more positive outlook, facilitate a greater understanding of yourself and your situation and in turn, empower you to make a better choice for yourself.
I have seen tarot help people to gain clarity and to go forward with more determination and direction in their life. So I certainly have faith in its ability to help people. But you know one should remember that tarot cards are just that, pieces of cardboard with images. Yes, the images do have a long history and within them are core meanings. But a reading is only as good as the reader. What I am saying is the magic is not in the cards but in the readers ability.

Belle and Rosy, the two main characters in Jumping At Shadows, are feisty, happy, charming girls living adventurous lives. Was your own girlhood similar to theirs? Are you more like Belle or Rosy?

I was more like Rosy I think. Rosy's a bit of a tom boy and so was I. Always willing to climb that tree and scrump those apples. ^__^ I've drawn on my own memories of school days in order to write this story, and it is set in around the early 60's. The tunnel they go through to get to the gym is the one I use to have to go through. I think even when we write fiction, there has to be some reality in it to be believable. That is where the similarity begins and ends.

How was the novel-writing/publishing experience for you? Would you do it again? Are you working on a sequel? Are you happy or disappointed with the self-publishing process and what pitfalls are there you would advise other writers to avoid?

This novella, (well it's a novella now but the original draft was around 60,000 words which I reduced to just under 50,000), took around 4 years from beginning to end. I worked on the first draft for 12 months, but took lots of breaks to write short stories and flashes etc. This helped me not get bogged down in it and come back each time with fresh eyes. I formed a plot outline but a fair way in I found it wasn't going to work, so had to sit down and rethink the plot. Having an imaginative son helped a lot at this stage. He and I had a brainstorming session to get it back on the road. Then came the edits, 6 times in all, but you can't escape the process.

I've left the book so that it can have a sequel, but right now I have another fantasy fiction on the back burner about a boy who thinks he has what it takes to be a wizard ^__^

Publishing was a learn as you go process. Fortunately I enlisted the help of my husband to do the formatting, but there still were kinks to iron out and the meat grinder at Smashwords thinks that people only use word - most frustrating when you work on a Mac. I think putting the thing together is the easiest part. As an Indi author the hardest part is promotion, you have to do it for yourself. Trying to find the fine line between getting your book out there and not annoying the public too much is tricky.

I think my advice to anyone who was planning to do this is, make sure you have your manuscript edited and polished, enlist beta readers to help you see where you may need to improve it. Don't try to skip the editing step, a first draft is rarely the best. Then when you're ready to publish, plan it and make your launch noticeable. Good luck.


I was wondering if you'd be willing to do tarot readings for those who would ask for it in the comments? You don't have to, of course, and I won't mention it if you'd rather not, but it might be fun.

Okay I would be willing to do 5 one card readings for the first five to put up their hands - they can only ask one question and preferably not one that requires a yes or no (difficult to do with one card) so perhaps you could guide them to ask their question with an open end like: 

What do I need to - or How can I etc. or Where should I etc. will get them the best results.

ALSO - Tell me a little bit about your fascinating life, what it's like to live in Australia (whereabouts exactly are you?); what it's like to live life a day ahead of the rest of the world (it kills me that you're going to bed when I'm waking up), what your family life is like (happy anniversary!) and what's UP with all your baking!!!! Geez, you're making the whole world hungry over there!

Thanks for the anniversary wishes, 39 years how time flies! Well, I was born in England where I stayed until I was 31 before moving to Australia. I started out my working life as a secretary, until I came to Australia then I moved into age care. fter that I became a massage therapist, then an instructor in an Adult Education Facility for intellectual disabilities. Left that and went to work in a spa as a remedial massage therapist. Now retired. I have done various things in my life, in England taught in a ballet school on Saturdays. When I came out here I joined a wine makers association and made my own country wines, for which I won two bronze and one silver medal. (Don't make wine any more, you can buy it by the cask these days ^_^). I was also a watercolour painter and exhibited my work for around 18 years. No longer do that. Around four years ago I took up fiction writing and that is what I put my energy into these days.

Australia was always called the lucky country, it has wide open spaces, beaches and for the most part a fair bit of sunshine. Coming from England I loved that fact that I could grow things in this climate outdoors that would only be seen in a hot house back home. I adore some of the wild life, (not the spiders or snakes) but the parrots that come visit my garden, that is until they eat my apples instead of their bird seed! The thing I really like about Australia is that you don't need lots of money to enjoy life. Our parks are free, our beaches are free, so all you need to do is pack up some sandwiches and head on out into the fresh air.

 Sometimes I feel living in the future makes me miss out on some fun chats! It's strange that I am waking up here when all of your are going to bed and I read the tweets and games and conversations that have gone on while I sleep.

Baking - I've always loved cooking. Not everyday meals that's boring stuff, but making special cakes or bread or preserves. There is nothing more satisfying that looking at a shelf filled with jars of things that you've made yourself. I've recently done a batch of orange and lemon marmalade - the lemon trees are dripping here at the moment. ^_^

Thanks for asking me over Cathy, I've enjoyed chatting and I've left you a jar of marmalade on the table over there!

MARMALADE! My favourite! (Can you imagine having lemon trees in your backyard? I certainly can't.) Thanks for that, Helen, and thanks for dropping by. It's always a pleasure having you here and best of luck with Jumping At Shadows. I hope you sell TONS of copies.

Now, the first five people who ask for it in the comments can have their tarot cards read by the illustrious Mizz Howell. She read mine a few months back and was bang on with everything she said. How much fun is that?