Have you ever been carrying a mini-pad around in your pocket, at work, and you had your hands in your pockets, in the staff room, waiting around for the coffee to brew and looking around dopily because you're bored stupid and it takes forever to make so-called "instant" coffee, and you suddenly realize the mini-pad isn't in your pocket anymore, it's on the staff room floor which is called "staff room" because there is staff in it?
What do you do?
Pretend it's not there, knowing full well every person in the office will be saying, "Ew, Cathy dropped a mini-pad in the staff room and didn't pick it up" all day long and possibly for the rest of your career?"
Pick it up quickly and hope no one noticed, knowing full well they did? And the whole picking-up process is so embarrassing that it happens in slo-mo, and your face is a rictus of frozen cherry-popsicle coloured humiliation?
Make a big deal out of it? Like, "Oh lookit that, I dropped my mini-pad! Ho, ho, ho! Good thing it's not a used one, eh? Ho, ho, ho! Lookie me, I'm a big dumbass. Ho, ho, ho!"
Not that it has ever happened to me. (Yesterday.)
Things I'm glad I don't have to worry about...
ReplyDeleteMen are so lucky.
DeleteAbout some things, yes we are...
DeleteUm, yes. Except for me, it's fallen out of my purse. And you know when the contents of the purse spill, everyone looks! I am totally laughing. You made my day, Cathy!
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan!!!!
DeleteAre we living the same life? I can't tell you how many times something like that has happened to me and at the WORST, most crowded, awkward moments EVER. I just run away...
ReplyDeleteheheh - yes we are. And yes, running is sometimes the BEST idea. I ran away when I overflowed the dishwasher at work.
DeleteOh yeah......went to fish out a pen and notepad one day and threw a whole handful on to the ground beside me. I will remember that hideously embarrasing moment for the rest of my life.
ReplyDeleteHeheheheh! Sorry, Delores, but it IS funny in retrospect, I bet! Ok, so maybe not....
DeleteNow, see, I thought this was going to be some rant about the ipad mini. Now look at me, scarred for life.
ReplyDeleteOMG, I laughed out loud when I saw your comment. OUT LOUD, I say!
DeleteI am cracking up so much!!!! OMG you poor thing!!! What else can one do but say, 'THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S MY TIME OF THE MONTH!' I don't even like buying them. I might as well just tell everyone in the store it's my lady's time. When I go shopping with my honey, I'll often say, 'Hang on a sec, I need something from the Awkward Aisle'. That's always good for a laugh.
ReplyDeleteThe 'Awkward Aisle'... brilliant!
DeleteShowing my age and stage of life here. I, too, thought it was going to be about the new iPad mini!
ReplyDeleteMaybe the folks at Apple should start making personal care products?
DeleteI'm surprised you didn't hear all that paper fluttering on the way down. And the cardboard back surely made a little thud, too.
ReplyDeleteEh? What did you say? Dagnammit, speak up woman! I can't hear nothing for the sound of paper falling!
Deleteyou could always say it's a field dressing from your first aid kit
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAH! Yes! Next time I will... not that there will be a next time *stuffing a fresh mini-pad in my pocket*
DeleteIf only it fell adhesive side up, then you could step on it and hope it clings to the bottom of your show and slowly walk away...
ReplyDeleteDaisy! That's BRILLIANT! Brilliant, I say! Wow! I gotta try that!
DeleteTop marks for Daisy's suggestion! ;-p
ReplyDeleteReally Cathy - I thought it was only me that did embarrassing things like that! Such an occasion demands distraction tactics - shouting 'Doughnuts!' and pointing to another corner of the room would give you valuable recovery options!
Daisy is the smartest cat I know. Seriously.
DeleteHEHEHEHE- "Doughnuts!" Another brilliant suggestion! Everyone at my work would totally be distracted!
See, now I would think it would serve as a warning not to screw with you this time of the month.
ReplyDeleteNo?
Well, okay then... carry on.
You know, instead of hiding them in our pockets we should paste them on our foreheads, as a clear warning to all who DO want to screw with us. Great thinking, Juli!
DeleteOkay, see, there is a plan for this. You have to be sly about it though. Because, yes, there is someone...okay...plenty of someones who saw it fall to the floor. However, check for the nearest napkin or paper towel dispenser and "accidentally" drop it over the mini-pad. May have to practice this a couple of times at home to get the aim juuuuusssst right :-) Then you grab both up - while also picking up that piece of your dignity the embarrassment of the moment sliced off - and walk away, head held high.
ReplyDeleteThat's right lol!
You have obviously given this a great deal of thought Angela! So tell me how long you practised the paper towel throwing before you got it just right?
Delete:)
Oh dear. It seems to have happened to far too many of us. And if men menstruated there would be dispensers in every room and a bowl full on every counter.
ReplyDeleteAnd, at the end of the day, frozen cherry popsicle is a flattering colour. Isn't it?
It IS a rather attractive shade of blush. I find if I do enough embarrassing things I don't need to worry about frivolous things like make-up.
DeleteIt's so nice that you have levelled with us Cathy. Now I feel completely human..
ReplyDeleteHow I do it is: when your dog shits on the footpath, it is okay so long as said dog is not attached to you with a leash. Just walk away. Admit to nothing.
It worked for me on Cup day in the pub after a 23:1 win. (What a horse). Dropped the bottle of champagne on the dancefloor. Smack! Then the bottle spun around, spraying all and sundry. I didn't even look back. My best mate following me got the blame ... but only because she did the splits on the mess.
This strategy does lead to the odd dark night of the soul, however.
I'm of that ignorant stripe. Responded to the opening paragraph with, "No, I've never lost an Apple device."
ReplyDeleteNever had that problem.
ReplyDeletethe Ol'Buzzard
Something very similar happened to me once. Thankfully, no one saw it.
ReplyDeleteCondolences on the misadventure.
ReplyDeleteAnd there was me thinking you had a 'note pad' in your pocket!
ReplyDeleteAt the risk of being throttled, I`m falling about laughing!
ReplyDeleteOh Cathy! Too funny!!! At least you didn't fart when you bent over to pick it up!!!
ReplyDelete