I just shaved my legs (keep it down, yeah yeah, everyone's a critic) and I realized what a drag it is to be white. Especially this time of year. Especially in a cold climate. I am SO white that I'm almost translucent. Do people of colours other than pasty go through this?
Doctors are always saying it's no good to get a tan anymore so that means a lifetime of see-through skin. At least I don't have to worry about X-rays.
"Remarkable how the Caucasian-ness of this patient saves money on expensive procedures. Look, there's her gallstones. And her colon – mother of all that is holy, does she ever eat a lot of fibre! And, oh wow, she's pregnant! And it's TWINS! Oh, sorry. False alarm. It's just her mammary glands hanging at navel level. Can someone hook this poor woman up with Bob in plastic surgery?"
And here's the thing about leg hair. There's enough of it to look really gross but not enough to disguise varicose veins.
God hates me.
I'm sure God's a subscriber. Surely he likes a laugh in the morning too. :)
ReplyDeleteYour legs will be soooo cold now ! I am leaving mine on until Spring Thaw.
ReplyDeleteI have pale skin, but freckles help camouflage my organs.
ReplyDeleteHelpful hint number 1.....wear pants all winter. The extra layer of leg hair underneath is like shearling. You'll never be cold lol.
ReplyDeleteI've made jeans my official garb. I have classy, jean trousers for meetings and funerals and regular jeans for everywhere else. No shaving. No stockings, either, in case those might still be around.
ReplyDeleteOR....you could let your legs go au naturel like they do in Berkeley, and Oregon and Woods Hole. I've been blessed with very light hair (despite my Portaguinea heritage) so that I can let it go a long time and you don't know it unless you are up close. Living in the PNW I fit right in with the pasty white pallor since it's almost never sunny. Here everyone tans all summer long.
ReplyDeleteLOL! YOu're a nut, but a good one. I'm glad you're not having twins because then you'd be too tired to update your blog, and us and Jesus would miss out on a lot of good laughs. Happy Thursday to ya! :)
ReplyDeleteI have naturally tan skin and, can I just say, it's not better for me in the Scottish winter. ;) My arms are their normal olive colour by my legs go white as a sheet, I think due to lack of ever leaving my jeans more than anything else. Anyway! Feel your pain.
ReplyDelete<3
OH! Alex has freckles! He gave something away!
ReplyDeleteLOL ! I am in the middle stages of Menopause and hair under the arms and on the legs have stopped so I shave maybe once every two months as were before it was every week ! I also have a sandy beige colour skin in the winters but come summer I get a golden brown colour ! Hey what life with out a good laugh or to ! Have a good day !
ReplyDeleteWow, it seems there's a lot of hair removal happening in your life right now! ;) Let it grow, shaving's waaaaaaay overrated! :)
ReplyDelete"It's time to shave my legs," said NO Bear, ever!
ReplyDeleteYou are a riot! As someone with natural pigmentation in my life, the winter calls for more lotions and oils to keep the ash from turning me white. Except it wouldn't be a see through translucent, more like a cracked skin, static-on-the-TV-screen kind of thing. I suppose that would still cover the internal organs though...hmmm...
ReplyDeleteGosh, Cathy - you do pick some subjects to blog about....! ;-p
ReplyDeleteAnd tell me this - exactly WHY do we go in for all this hair removal in the first place? Do you see any other mammals wielding a razor, huh? Even the Primates, with a tad more manual dexterity than other animals, don't seem to venture further than searching each others fur for mites, etc.
And yet.....we shave, we lotion, we wax (....aaaaaaagh!), we use electrical depilation........ all just for a brief feeling of sophistication!
Believe me, married for nearly 33 years - a stubbly leg is not the end of the world! As for 'action' between the covers - at this stage of life it's just fighting for a fair share of the duvet in these arctic nights!
;-p
Cindy said what I was going to… why remove perfectly good insulation before spring?
ReplyDeleteI laughed at the "twins." :-P
"Life on the Muskoka River" has been included in the Sites To See for this week. Be assured that I hope this helps to point many new visitors in your direction.
ReplyDeletehttp://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2013/02/sites-to-see_1.html
I am a Canadian ex-pat, stupidly living in the tropics. Rather I have white skin than extra-crispy lobster- To make matters worse, I work outside. 4 applications of sunscreen per day and I'm still as red as the Canadian flag (I'm still white where I'm covered)... Gods, to work the night shift again...
ReplyDeleteHmmm. What to say to this: It reminded me of a short film I saw about a woman who pulls a (ahem) hair out of her drain with--shall we say, unforeseen consequences.
ReplyDeleteI saw this film at least twenty years ago--but I've never forgotten it, and I think of it everytime I clean the sink. Here's the link but I don't think it will hook you up directly. It never does in comment forms.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7AuiNZcxB4
It's called "Kitchen Sink" by Alison Maclean, and it's on youtube...if you dare.
Thanks for the update Cathy...and how are the ol' pits lookin'?
I'm so fair skinned. I know that translucent look well. I would have been beautiful back when the woman ate arsenic to be pale. LOL
ReplyDeleteDuring the winter challenge I did not shave but once, as I needed the extra insulation for our daily runs. (Yeah right... I was just too stinking tired after the running)
ReplyDeleteNow that the running is over.... well, now I just need another excuse. :)
You won my Grow Your Blog giveaway!!! Email me your mailing address and I'll send it right up! :)
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm with the no-shaving crew. It's cold, I need what little hair still grows on these transluscent sausages I call legs. And I need the skin that gets shaved off with the hair. It's cold, dammit!
ReplyDeleteHumanity is proof that God has a sense of humour.
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