World's Biggest Things #3

Polar bears are the "thing" in Cochrane, Ontario, but I'm thinking a giant cup of coffee might be more in order. (Two sugars, one cream, please.)

Tim Horton: yes,
he was an actual guy
but he's dead now.

Tim Horton was born in Cochrane. YES. THEE TIM HORTON. The guy who founded the Canadian coffee empire. And, oh yeah, he played some hockey too. Frankly, I would expect a ginormous cup of Tim's at the entrance to town but instead there is Chimo, a plus-sized chub cub. Dave and I stopped by for a photo op on our way across the country last summer. As you can see from Dave's hair, we had basically just woken up after sleeping in our Jeep. (We did that. Because we are bums.)

Cochrane is in northeastern Ontario, east of Kapukasing and north of Iroquois Falls. Basically, when you get to Cochrane, you're putting the "up" in north. When you're travelling across Ontario, you have to go north for a long time before you start heading west, and if you're taking Highway 11, that turning point is here in polar bear land. 

Not that you see any polar bears roaming around. It's not THAT far north. But it is the southern terminus for the famous Polar Bear Express, the train that takes people across Ontario's real north to Moosonee on James Bay. As far as I know, there are no roads to Moosonee and, as well as being an important transportation link, the Express brings many tourists who want to see what life is really like in the far north. The trip can take anywhere between five and six hours. That's just crazy talk.

There are some polar bears in Cochrane, however. The town is home to Cochrane Polar Bear Habitat, the only captive bear facility in the world devoted to polar bears. They do research and stuff and apparently are all about raising awareness about climate change and how that negatively impacts these beauteous bears. If you'd like to know more, here's the LINK.


View Larger Map

P.S. I'm pretending I have not disappeared from blogland. Shhhhhh....

World's Biggest Things #2

Did you know Winnie-the-Pooh was a real bear? Did you also know that he was a Canadian bear who was born in the woods near White River, Ontario?

"Pooh" was actually a black bear cub who was captured by a trapper in 1914 and sold to a soldier from Winnipeg, Manitoba.  Lieutenant Harry Colebourn of the Canadian Army Veterinary Corps paid $20 for the bear and promptly fell in love with the little black bundle of fur. Other soldiers loved him, too but, as he got bigger, "Winnie" (named after Lt. Colebourn's hometown) started knocking down tents and causing other mischief. Reluctantly the soldier gave Winnie to the London Zoo for safekeeping.

Author A.A. Milne and his son Christopher were regular visitors at the zoo and they were so fond of Winnie that he became the subject of one of the world's most beloved children's books. (You can read more of that story on the town of White River's website.)

In 1992 a statue of Winnie-the-Pooh was unveiled at a park at the side of Highway 17 and has been a must-stop for kids of all ages as they travel the Trans Canada Highway.

We stopped in for a photo op (and a pee break) on our way to Ontario this August. In the photo, from left, is Angus, Sam, Misty and Dave.


View Larger Map

World's Biggest Things #1

People 'round here are obsessed with giant "things."

A couple miles down the road from me, in Vilna, Alberta, is THE WORLD'S LARGEST MUSHROOM. Last summer I made Sam pose with it. He was, like, "Do I haaaaaaave to?" and I can't blame him for whining because the mushroom was kind of lame. I mean, I haven't seen a bigger mushroom, but it wasn't bigger than a house or anything. At the most, maybe it was bigger than an SUV, but, like, a small SUV, not a Buick Escalade.

Down the road a bit further is THE WORLD'S LARGEST PYROGY. I haven't seen it yet, however. It is six kilometres off the highway and apparently six kilometres is like a trek across the Andes because I can never talk Dave into going to see the fecking thing. It's on my bucket list, though. Giant pyrogies. Mmmm. I wonder if there's a giant vat of sour cream to go with? And is there a giant fork? If not, you'd need giant fingers to manhandle that thing into my giant mouth.

Fellow Canucks will doubtless remember the Corner Gas episode in which the people of Dog River decide to build a giant "thing" to attract tourists. Their vision is to create a giant farm implement to represent prairie agriculture, and one naive resident (I think she's the mayor's grandma) suggests a hoe, but not a new hoe, a well-used one, one with dirt on it and maybe a crack from all the use it has received.

Yep. A giant hoe. A giant cracked hoe, with dirt on it.

A GIANT DIRTY OLD CRACK HEAUX.



One of the coolest things I noticed when we were moving halfway across the great country of Canada, was the overwhelmingly sheer number of small towns with giant "things." They were everywhere. Giant fish. Giant moose. Giant bugs. You name it, it was there.

This summer Dave and I drove the boys back to Ontario (after an awesome couple of months together) and, on our way home, we vowed to stop and take a picture of every giant "thing" we came across. And, lucky you, I plan on sharing all my "things" here on this misbegotten and forgotten blog!

Today's giant "thing" is, indeed, a thing. A Volkswagen Beetle turned into some kind of weird spider/bug/thing wearing a top hat. Because, you know, all giant bugs want to wear top hats. It's in front of an automotive shop outside of Kenora, Ontario.

And, oh yeah, that's my honey-bun dancing in front of the giant bug. (As you do.)

He was NOT dancing after the 534th giant thing we came across. (Whining, yes, dancing, not so much.)


View Larger Map