Me, myself and my movie date

Ever been to a movie by yourself? Takes a lot of guts, doesn't it? I've only done it two or three times in my entire, long, painfully-long, life and most times it was hard to enjoy the movie because I was so worried about everybody thinking that I was such a loser that I couldn't get a date.

Well I went to the show by myself last night and you know what? I didn't feel like a loser at all.

I took myself out to dinner at McDonald's first. Wolfed down some McNuggets with the Sunday Star. It was really nice, spending some time reading the newspaper. Relaxing. When I was done, I drove over to the theatre, found a good parking spot, bought my ticket and some popcorn and found a primo spot to sit down. There was hardly anyone else in the building. In fact, I was the only person in the room until about five minutes before showtime. I relaxed in my seat, stared at the blank screen and daydreamed. It was ... nice.

In fact, it was so nice that I won't have any qualms about doing it again. I'm a good date, if I do say so myself. Good company, and a cheap date, too.

By the way, the movie I saw was Snitch, starring Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. I wasn't expecting much, believe me – that guy is not my favourite actor by any means. But you know what? It was really good. The story was engrossing... the trucker sequences were edge-of-the-seat exciting ... I got all emotional at the end ... and Johnson proved he had real acting chops. I was impressed, and after seeing almost all the Academy Award movies this year, I'm not easy to impress.

Loved Barry Pepper in this movie. He is terrific in everything, even in a funky ZZ Top beard. It didn't hurt that he drove a hot rod Chrysler throughout the flick and, I can't help it, I'm a Chrysler chick.

Bag of Bones

'Grampa, get outta my bed, you old perv!"

Meh. That's pretty much how I feel about the A&E mini-series Bag of Bones. It was OK but nothing compared to Stephen King's novel, which I consider to be far and away the best thing he ever wrote.

Maybe if I hadn't read the book, didn't have such high expectations, I might have enjoyed it more. It was like The Shipping News by Annie Proulx. The book was fabulous, one of my all-time favourites. The movie? Less than meh. (Kevin Spacey as Quoyle? Pffffft.) I guess when books are so over-the-top great, the movies simply can't compete.

I'm a fan of Pierce Brosnan but honestly, he was too old to play Mike Noonan. All I could think of was, how can Jo, his good looking wife, and that tart Matty Devore both be attracted to that old guy? I sure as heck wouldn't kick Brosnan out of bed for eating crackers but I'm an old fart myself and can be forgiven for being attracted to other old farts.

I always imagined Stephen King as Mike Noonan and Brosnan did have a Stephenish-Kingish quality in the mini-series. Still, there are plenty of 30 to 40-something actors who could have filled the bill far more nicely than the hunky but aging ex-Bond.

The other thing is, the film just skirted the dark corners of the novel, the very corners that made Bag of Bones one of King's most critically acclaimed works. To me it was brilliance from start to finish with dark literary nuances.

By the way, forgive the typos in this post. I went to see an opthamologist this afternoon – I'm going to be having cataract surgery in the new year. He dilated my eyeballs to the size of dinner plates and I can't see a goldurned thing. Perhaps I might have enjoyed Bag of Bones more had I been able to see. Then again, I'm sure the rather elderly Mike Noonan only benefited from my soft-focus eyeballs.

Oh gawd, Pierce, if you happen to read this, forgive my ageist comments. And if you want to pop by with a box of crackers, I'd be more than happy to spend some alone time with ya. I'm sure Dave wouldn't mind. All you have to do is point me in the direction of the bedroom. The things we can do with my white cane and a box of crackers ....