Showing posts with label where's the fecking bon-bons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label where's the fecking bon-bons. Show all posts

Thursday, August 29, 2013

No Job For You


I didn't get the job. Excuse me a moment while I wail and clench my fists and blow my nose really, really loud.

Why didn't they like me? Why? WHY? 

*sob*

Was it my Dr. Seuss criminal record on the background check? Was it because I'm old and fat and they wanted yet another Big-Boobied Tartlet at their orifice cooler? (It's a bird. Look it up.) Because, really, are there ever enough young women in tight blouses and camel-toe pants working at car dealerships?

It's not like I don't have social media experience. (Right?) It's not like I don't have 30 years under my belt as a writer and a photographer. It's not like I couldn't give them the most awesome website they'd ever seen, complete with a funny, fabulous Facebook page that people WANT to interact with. It's not like I couldn't do the fecking JOB in my fecking SLEEP.

Maybe it's because I like to say feck so much? Well feck, I wouldn't say feck on their Facebook page ... OK, so maybe just once or twice...

I didn't actually think they would reject me. I honestly thought they would offer me the job and then I would negotiate a higher wage because, frankly, I'm worth twice what they were offering and I live in a fecking dream world. And then, when they refused to offer me more moolah, I would tell them to stick their job in their pipe and smoke it.

I just didn't imagine them not offering me the job. How big-headed and stupid is that?

I know I should act like a grown-up but I really feel sorry for myself right now. I may have to spend the rest of the day blowing my nose and yelling at the cats.