Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Amazing Smoking Toddler

So here's the thing – this kid looks GOOD smoking.
He's got the style thing down pat. The sexy exhale. The pursed lips.
The steam-throw-blow-out that says, "Hey, I got something important to say, so listen up."
But he's TWO.
How much can he possibly say? 
"Yeah, I always wondered what Godot was waiting for... and now I know - it's a fresh set of Huggies."
Or, "Bring me another round of breastmilk, Big Mama, I got me a hankering for some fresh moo juice and ya know it's better for me than Enfalac ... not that I really care, I'm gonna have cancer by the time I'm in preschool ... hey, who's got a light?"
I want to see this kid when he's 20, all wrinkled up and diseased and sallow, coughing up a yard of phlegm, smelling like an old man's underpants.
Still, as an ex-smoker, I gotta admit, I get a bad case of the Jones just looking at this kid.
I wonder if he'd let me have a drag.
Just one.
I wouldn't get the filter all smarmy, I promise.
C'mon ... no one will know...
I'll slip ya a ten-spot ya dirty bugger.

P.S. - I had the video posted here but, as Alan sez, the "evil ones" took it down. The kid doesn't look quite as suave in this shot.


  1. Hilarious and demented at the same time... wow!!

  2. left me without words... with the exception of the ones I just typed.. and these ones too. OOps and those ones as well.

  3. Sorry I missed the video before it got snatched away by the evil ones. Where does a 2year old get the money for cigs I wonder? Hey, that was funny and sad all hand-rolled into one loose little cancer stick. I hope I never smell like old man's underpants...

  4. I did a google search and found the clip. I think that kid is smoking for than tobacco.

  5. Smoke on, little man. Smoke on.

  6. What kind of parents would allow their child to do this and why would they advertise it to the world. I saw it on t.v. What's this old world coming to.


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