Monday, December 3, 2012

How to write a query letter

You know, there's so much crap out there being written about query letters – what to write, what not to write, how far do you bend over to get the proper angle for ass kissing – that, really? All I want to say is, "I wrote a damned book. Ya wanna see it, or not?"

22 comments:

  1. Ha! That would garner attention--though probably not the attention you want :)

    The only thing worse than the query letter is the blasted synopsis. Peace...

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    1. THE BLASTED SYNOPSIS! That deserves to be in ALL CAPS. bah.

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    2. You gotta play the game girl....play the game.

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    3. Is it like euchre? Cause I love euchre...

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    4. Sadly, no. There is no fun in 'the game'. But, sometimes it pays off. Sometimes.

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    5. ps...I can't wait to read the damn book.

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  2. Sometimes that's how we all feel! Just read the damn book.

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  3. I didn't even know you had to write a specific kind of letter; I thought you just sent a note saying, 'enclosed please find...'

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    1. Oh, specific doesn't even begin to describe it! It's quite the ordeal and there are tons of blogs and websites giving us all tips - plus, all agencies have their own slightly differing policies. It's a jungle out there!

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  4. Dang.

    I'm so thankful I write like crap.

    Crap is easy to introduce:

    Chapter 1, crap...
    Chaper 2, double-crap...
    Chapter 3, oh no, more crap...

    Aren't you glad you don't write like crap?

    Nitty Gritty Momma

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    1. Hey, you haven't read my crap yet!!! It's probably crap, too!!!

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  5. Surely the question should be 'When do you want to see my masterpiece, not whether...

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  6. Query letter and synopsis - two more reasons why I indie publish! :)

    Yes, just read the damn book!

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  7. That's a start! Most agents only want to hear what the damn book is about and how you can sell it, so you don't really have many sentences to go beyond what you're already thinking.

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  8. I think that would be the best query letter every written.

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  9. If nothing else, that might get you a spot on SlushPile Hell (http://slushpilehell.tumblr.com/). That's sort of like being published, isn't it?

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  10. Ye Olde Synopsis is even more bedevilling and vexing than the Query Accursed.

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  11. And no, I have no idea why I wrote it like that...

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