Saturday, December 29, 2012

PJs and Crocs! Hooray!


Look at me! Look at my new pink flannel pyjamas! See the cutie-cute owls on them? Owls with toques and scarves and snowflakes? Look at my new shoes! They're Crocs! I've always wanted "real" Crocs, not the plastic ones they sell at the dollar store that make your feet smell. And look at all the charms I bought for my new Crocs! Which, in case you hadn't notice, are PINK!

Oh I'm happy, I am. Happy, happy, happy! We went to the city looking for Boxing Week bargains. First we hit the Crocs outlet store, where they sold you a second pair at half price, so I bought Dave a pair, too, only his are black, not pink (no accounting for taste). At the check-out I threw in a "mystery box" of charms, only $9.99 for 20! Everyone knows you can't have Crocs without charms, right? When I got home I picked out the manly charms and gave them to Dave. Wait, I'll go take a picture of his feet.

"Dave! I need to take a picture of your Crocs!"

He hands me his shoes.

"No, with your feet in them!"

He makes a cranky face, like I'm torturing him, but puts them on.

"Now put your feet closer together. Closer. No, closer. OK, smile!"

Here's his feet:


As you can clearly see, they are not anywhere near as cute as mine. There were two Canadian flags and two Brainy Smurfs in the grab bag so I shared. But I kept all the really cute girly ones, because they look so girly on my girly Crocs. I'll be all set for camping this year, with my girly waterproof Crocs, perfect for stomping around in forests and paddling the canoe. Or going to work. Or wearing to the mall. In fact, I may never take them off again.

After the Croc store we went to The Fat Ladies Store, my favourite store on the planet, because everything fits and skinny women aren't allowed. They check your weight at the door and if you're under 200 pounds they throw your bony ass to the curb. Ha! I just made that up but it cracks me up, the idea of officers from Big Bertha Security frisking skinny chicks who are wearing lead weights in their shoes in order to buy all the cool Omar-the-tentmaker clothes.

So EVERYTHING was on sale at The Fat Ladies Store, including and especially these pink pajamas, which I love to death because they are as soft and warm and cuddly as a new puppy, but a house-trained puppy, of course, because who wants pyjamas that pee on the rug? And they were 50% off the already discounted price, so they were, like, basically FREE.

I also got a bag full of other stuff... wait, it wasn't a bag, it was a BAG! It was *that* big and it was full of new shirts and underwear and even a pair of jeans! All 50% off already reduced prices! So again, it was practically FREE!

I should have gone back and gotten a bigger BAG!

Hey Dave! Wanna go shopping again tomorrow?

Dave?

24 comments:

  1. I love your writing style. Big Bertha security- "Ha! Entry denied! You only weigh 190lbs! whadja do in the shower this morning? Slip down the drain? Come back when you eat something..."

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  2. You can't wear crocs without charms?

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    1. You can, I guess, but that's like going out in public nekkid.

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  3. I LOVE practically FREE ! You and Dave are just way too cute in your Crocs ..

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  4. I LOVE the fat lady store...and I've never been tossed to the curb for not weighing enough (sigh). I need to go, too. The crocs are cute.

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    1. Delores, you should TOTALLY go today. Everything is on sale, like everything! I got ginormous bargoons!

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  5. Your excitement comes through in this post! Made me grin!!! I feel like saying YIPPEEEEE SKIPPEEEEEE for you! I haven't been able to make myself go in the Fat Lady's Store yet, but seem to find enough plus size clothes in the thrift shop. I got the 'weight lecture' from my doctor at my physical, although my cholesterol was so low (163) and blood sugar fine so it's not like she had lab result to back up her 'you better lose 60 pounds' thing. Which I told Russell and he said, 'if you lose 60 lbs you'll also lose 272 lbs. I don't want a bone rack for a wife'. So lucky to have a 'chubby chaser' for a fiance!!!!

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    1. YIPPEEEEEEE SKIPPPEEEEEEE! That is EXACTLY how I feel!

      I love your Russell. You are a lucky woman!

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  6. I don't own any Crocs, but mine would definitely be black as well.

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    1. I dunno, Alex, the pink is pretty nice... you might regret it...

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  7. I go into the fat ladies store to buy bras. And without fail, the lady at the counter says "Um, are these for you?"

    "Um, yeah lady. Stop looking at my ta-tas"

    :)

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    1. Juli - are you bragging about your ta-tas again?????? *looking mournfully at my own*

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  8. My sister wears nothing but crocs. She has crocks that look like tennies, crocs that look like moccosins, toe thong crocs, crocks that.... You get it. There are no three inch heel crocs, but she's tall enough all ready.

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  9. Well, of course, you must now wear the crocs for absolutely everything. Even weddings.

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  10. Wonderful 'Happy Feet' post. Better than the movie which I eseentially found very distressing. Implants and penguins are not a happy mix in my mind. And your crocs and your PJs look very cute. However, and it is a big however, please tell me that it is the angle of the photo - both of your feet look tiny! As one who could save most of Noah's ark with my shoes I found this deeply disturbing.

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    1. Ermagerd, EC, I have humongous feet! Depending on the shoe, size 9 or 10 wide! Dave's feet aren't small, either. I think it's the angle and the Crocs that make feet look smaller. If that's the case I WILL wear them every day!

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  11. Har, you crack me up...Fat Ladies Store...

    When I hit 210 I have to resort to shopping at the men's equivalent, "Big Buddies." If I get beyond that I'll be forced to shop at Omar's second cousins place "Jones Tent and Awning."

    Nice Crocs, BTW (though not my cop of tea). Dave's Smurfy charm really exudes manliness. He's got to be the best sport in the world...

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    1. He pretty much is the best sport in the world...!!!! Thanks for dropping by and making me smile, Alan! Hope you and V and The Boy have a fabulous New Year's celebration and an even better 2013. Happy New Year, my friend!

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  12. I don't have crocs but I 've never seen them with charms on them or I would be wearing them. Maybe they don't have charms in the UK I must check this out. Love bargains.

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