Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Will my ass fit?
Will my ass fit in an airplane seat?
Since we're flying out to Edmonton tomorrow morning, I am reminded of that Dodge Ram pick-up truck commercial where one redneck asks the other redneck "does that thing have a Hemi?" and the driver of the truck says, "You're about to find out."
I guess I'm about to find out.
What if it doesn't? Dear lord, can you imagine having to ask for another seat, or one of those seat belt expander-thingeys, and causing a fuss, all because my ass and the Goodyear Blimp are second cousins?
I tried to do a little research, googling "Will my ass fit in an airplane seat?" but didn't get a satisfactory reply, but boy-oh-boy, those images I DID get will forever be retinally burned.
What I'd like to do is find the seat measurements and then measure my ass. Anyone know how wide the seats are in Westjet's economy section? Anyone want to measure my ass? Dave's not here to help ...
I'm really nervous about this. Not about the flying itself, just about the ass-thing.
I was thinking that my ass squeezes into movie theatre and hockey arena seats – surely airplane seats aren't too much narrower, are they?
Are they? Any frequent flyer folks know the answer to this? Should I bring an ass-horn? Crisco? Any suggestions?