Abandoned gas station waiting for a match, or a winning lottery ticket, or forgiveness. Or something. What a waste. The bowling alley is still there, and the dance hall, the place where I sashayed across the hardwood floor to Dancing Queen because back then I was young and sweet, only 13, and I remember my Dad giving me a dirty look, embarrassed that his daughter was making an ass of herself. I shimmered under the rented showbiz lights, my secondhand blouse showing cleavage that didn't exist as I twirled with the enthusiasm only a self-obsessed adolescent can muster. I didn't care what Dad thought. I shouldn't care now but I'm uncomfortable, remembering, seeing myself through his eyes. He's dead. I'm old. My knees are too creaky for dancing and besides, I'm too fat. One turn around the dance floor and I'd probably fall to the ground clutching my exploding heart. I am sure a heart attack will find me soon. It's waiting for me around the curve of every doughnut. Is it my time? Is it carrying the wood that's gonna do it? Or this snow shovel? Or this dance?
I wait for the light to turn green at the intersection where I was young.
***
I'm taking part in the A to Z Blogging Challenge for the month of April. For more information, click here.
Since you're younger than I am, I declare you forever young!
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing about memories - what you are embarrassed by now, your Dad probably forgot about it in a few days. :)
Laura Eno – A Shift in Dimensions
Forever young! Us and Rod Stewart! WOOT! Hey, love your cat idea for A to Z. Very sweet!
DeleteAs you once very proudly pointed out, you are younger than me too! I aint afraid of no dance!
DeleteI wouldn't mind dying to Abba... there are worse ways to go. ;-)
ReplyDeleteLike rap. Can you imagine some rap song being the last thing that goes through your noodle? Hearing it for eternity? Ermagherd...
DeleteI love this. I pictured every turn and what I must have looked like when I was 13 and my dad watching me. Though, I don't think I'm ready for a heart attack.
ReplyDeleteDani @ Entertaining Interests
#warriorminion
I hope you're not ready for that!!! Geez! Thanks for dropping by!
DeleteHeeey Cathy! I'm back after my very brief hiatus to host the Easter holiday for my enormous family. I can't even walk today, much less dance. And I hear ya on the embarrassing your Dad. My father, is a very quiet, reserved and classy dude. You can imagine how many times I've brought him to the point of absolute mortification and abject terror at just the thought of someone as loud and obnoxious as me, being his daughter, lol.
ReplyDeleteThis was, as always, very well written. Great post!! Loved it.
Hey Jay!!!!! Sounds like you had an absolutely awesome Easter... the best feasts are the ones that have you lolling about groaning for days afterwords! Sounds like our fathers were cut from the same cloth... I'm thinking maybe you and me were adopted?
DeleteThe days gone by hold such an addiction, can't help but turn and look in the rear view mirror from time to time. I guess most of us are waiting at the intersection in so many ways. And all of us have embarrassed our parents at some point. Loved this light yet insightful post.
ReplyDeleteThat's one powerful paragraph!
ReplyDeleteAnd you are not old at all.
Oh the good old days ! But I prefer these days as now I do not care about what any one thinks or how they see or portray me as ! I was a tom boy butchy thing back then and still are lol and a country gal to boot ! I figure when my time is up and my number has been punched there is nothing I can do just go with the flow in life and death . Hope you had a nice Easter weekend and have a good day today !
ReplyDeleteI just have to say ... I NEEDED those giggles this morning! I'm sure I embarrassed my father a lot when I was younger. Fun memories - thanks so much for sharing them!
ReplyDeleteTerri @ Scribbler's Sojourn
Our poor parents...they must have suffered uncomfortable amounts of embarrasment thanks to their budding daughters.
ReplyDeleteAmazing, the power of memories that can be packed into one paragraph. Thanks for the green light...my youth and relationship with my Dad took a right turn. Thanks for stopping by and going through my feeble paper trail and photos.
ReplyDeleteSue
AtoZ LoneStar Quilting Bee
collectintexasgal.blogspot.com
Memories pop up like this all the time for me. You set the bar pretty high with this A post Cathy.
ReplyDeleteI like this 13 year old you. She sounds fun!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of my dad and how he must have cringed at some of my antics. Or maybe he just remembered being young himself. I can hope. Nice start to A-Z.
ReplyDeleteYou rock.
ReplyDelete~Just Jill
I just love how you went from the past to the present and questioned the future. And it was funny in a serious kind of way.
ReplyDelete"I wait for the light to turn green at the intersection where I was young"
ReplyDeletePowerful writing! Do you write poetry?
karen
Cathy, I love how you infuse humor with painful memories. You are such a gifted and eloquent writer.
ReplyDeleteVery evocative in few words! Success!
ReplyDeleteI love this line: I wait for the light to turn green at the intersection where I was young.
ReplyDeleteNow I stop at the yellow light, being in no particular rush at all.
Now I want a doughnut even though I haven't had one in... years.
ReplyDeleteThanks! :P
But it's ABBA! Ackk!
ReplyDeleteThis was incredible writing. And just plain incredible.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story! I could totally picture it too. And I'm too fat to dance anymore too. I tend to lose my balance easily.
ReplyDeleteWow! What an amazing description. I am blown away by it and am reminded about the last time I went to my hometown.
ReplyDeleteFantastic start to the challenge!!
Excellent kick off to the challenge, Cathy!
ReplyDeleteI think many of us have been there...I know I have and know how you're feeling. Sometimes, it seems, we turn around and life is passing us by....or so we think.
ReplyDeleteThere are many great times on the horizon..count on it :)
I enjoyed that
ReplyDeleteDeath stalks us all.
ReplyDeleteI'm not through with you yet so there!
PS Standing outside in Cold Lake in winter burns WAY more calories than standing outside in Ontario in the winter, just sayin'
The Dancing Queen is advancing towards venerability. She is not fat; she is substantial. Substantial people are good people!
ReplyDeleteSo, why don't you re-open the the gas station, bowling alley, and dance hall for the next batch of adolescents? Sounds like fun to me! Even if it is only during the summer.
We can always dream. Dreams don't cost much of anything. Not like the A-Z Challenge, which costs blood, sweat, and tears. Even two out of three ain't bad.
Blessings and Bear hugs!
Bears Noting
I hope you dance.
ReplyDeleteI love this... so often I look back at my childhood, fixated on one memory... and my dad no a days can't remember where his car keys are let alone one day when I was 14. (Thank God) So, do you have a theme... cause I'd love it if each day built on an entire story.... OHHHH that could be my idea for next year.....
ReplyDeleteFantastic (and wildly embarrassing) when we remember ourselves through someone else's eyes! I loved this!
ReplyDeleteExcellent way to start the challenge. You made me smile!
ReplyDeleteConnie
I'm visiting from the A to Z Blog Challenge
Peanut Butter and Whine
No, no, no. NO HEART ATTACK. That would abandon us - your faithful followers. Not allowed (Another A word).
ReplyDeleteSTUN-NING. Yes, that's not where the syllable is, I was immitating Forrest Gump. :) Awesome awesome post. xo!
ReplyDelete"The intersection where I was young." Yeah. I know where that is.
ReplyDeleteAnd oh no, you don't get to die before me. I'm older and much fatter. So there.