Whatever happened to niceness?
To manners?
To being considerate to your fellow human beings?
I'm the first to admit I'm naive and old-fashioned, but for 53.5 years I've gotten by on the notion that you should treat others like you want to be treated, and generally speaking, I have had a peaceful, productive, happy life. I'm not all crazy about being nice 24/7, and have been known to lose my cool in less than nice ways. Not proud of it, but I'm human, and shite happens. But I do try. I want people to say of me, "Oh that Cathy, she's a pretty nice person," and if that appears on my tombstone, hey, I'll be smiling six feet under.
Lately, though, I've come in contact with internet folks who don't value "nice" the way I do. In fact, I am absolutely gobsmacked at the mean-spirited name-calling and generalizing that has pitted gender against gender, race against race, religion against religion. It just seems everywhere I turn, I see little but venom and hate.
Screaming epithets at each other is like throwing kerosene on a campfire (although, admittedly, sometimes it feels really good to spout off). Not wanting to get burned, and realizing the futility of name-calling, I would like to try to ice these ongoing battles with niceness. Again, maybe I'm naive, but it's hard to be mean to someone who is being nice to you.
Maybe that's the answer to the troubles of this world. Niceness. Saying I'm sorry when it's needed, or excuse me when you bump into someone at the grocery store.
John Lennon used to say that love is the answer, but love isn't something you can make up out of whole cloth. Being nice, on the other hand, is easier than you might think.
Perhaps we should try it.
Human decency and manners. Common courtesy. Yeah, not so common.
ReplyDeleteNot sure which generation stopped teaching nice to their kids.
I always learned that, even if you didn't like someone, you were civil to them. I don't know that it's the same thing as being "nice"; "polite" might be a better word. Or "hospitable." Regardless, the Golden Rule seems to apply: treat others the way you'd like to be treated.
ReplyDeleteI'm fairly well known as being "the nice one" and I'm happy with that. I just don't understand mean, it's just as easy to be nice.
ReplyDeleteI am a bad tempered bear - but as far as possible I keep it to myself. Politeness and courtesy make life sooooo much easier. For everyone.
ReplyDeleteNice is not human nature, We have to acquire it and then teach it to the children.
ReplyDeletethe Ol'Buzzard
I agree. The internet has made it so people can bully others while hiding behind anonymity. What about all the fat shaming and 'people of walmart' that we all laugh at? What if they are mentally ill and don't know any better? This world is in a bad way.
ReplyDelete"What the world needs now is love sweet love..."
There is that old saying, "nice guys finish last", but let's keep trying anyway.
ReplyDeleteI am all for nice. HUG B
ReplyDeleteI try my best to always be up-lifting, encouraging and nice to all. I was taught if I didn't have anything nice to say, to keep my mouth shut. Of course, I am not perfect and at times some sarcasm escapes...and every once in a while this Bird can have some um, let's just call them hormonal moments, but for the most part, I really, really try my hardest to be nice to everyone. Cause that's just not who I want to be or how I ever want to be remembered when I'm gone. Life is just too short to be mean!!
ReplyDeleteNice is a very good thing, IMHO. Nice post :)
ReplyDeleteI sometimes have to keep myself in check online. My sarcasm tends to rear its head.
ReplyDeleteYes, your "niceness" showed through wonderfully when you used the phrase "testosterone-based idiocy" on my blog. Technically you wrote "testerone-based idiocy," with truly ironic flair, which is an interesting idea of kindness ;)
ReplyDeleteWell, since you called me a liar and a hamster (a hamster?), I figured you had it coming.
DeleteAnyway, I TRIED being nice to you but you're obviously a doofus, so there's no point.
DeleteThere's being nice and there's being a doormat when people are abusive, and there is no doubt you Cathy are nice but thankfully *not* a doormat.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Anonymous above. A lot of people do confuse "nice" with "doormat."
ReplyDeleteCanadians often drive Americans nuts if we are working with them. I had a colleague working in an international situation when an American said to her, very clearly, "Quit being so da**ed nice!"
Blessings and Bear hugs, from the nice Bear!
With anonymity, it makes it easier for trolls to come out and not be held accountable for their cruel words. I agree with you. Being nice will go a long way.
ReplyDeleteNice post! (No irony intended)
ReplyDeleteAs a kid, my mother would repeat that it was he without sin who should cast the first stone. The world is increasingly secular, but it frequently seems to me the feeling has changed to outrage at anyone who hasn't thrown all of their stones.
ReplyDeleteLove is the answer, that is true. When I looked at rude tourists crowding into the bus w/out waiting for those trying to exit, I tried to look at them with God's love. Made it a lot easier.
ReplyDeleteLove is the answer...what's the question?
ReplyDeleteHey, luckily I've not seen too much of this not-nice thing, except on the news. Keep being nice, Cathy.
Denise
I find it sad that people can't be nice to each other even in the blogging world. Generally, if I don't like what someone says in their blog, then I'll just bugger off and read something else; and if they say something mean on my blog, I just delete their comments. Don't get me wrong, I love a good discussion and a bit of debate, but sometimes it's just not worth the hassle.
ReplyDeleteNice is always nice and is usually the harder - and braver - choice.
ReplyDeleteThe hatred on the net was breaking my heart, a big part of why I left FB. But I'm still trying to be kind, just more anonymous I guess.Miss you, love you.
Yep. I agree.
ReplyDeleteNice is not as difficult as some believe. Unless you're just a meanie head. LOL There are way more not nicers around here than the other way around.
ReplyDelete