World's Biggest Things #1

People 'round here are obsessed with giant "things."

A couple miles down the road from me, in Vilna, Alberta, is THE WORLD'S LARGEST MUSHROOM. Last summer I made Sam pose with it. He was, like, "Do I haaaaaaave to?" and I can't blame him for whining because the mushroom was kind of lame. I mean, I haven't seen a bigger mushroom, but it wasn't bigger than a house or anything. At the most, maybe it was bigger than an SUV, but, like, a small SUV, not a Buick Escalade.

Down the road a bit further is THE WORLD'S LARGEST PYROGY. I haven't seen it yet, however. It is six kilometres off the highway and apparently six kilometres is like a trek across the Andes because I can never talk Dave into going to see the fecking thing. It's on my bucket list, though. Giant pyrogies. Mmmm. I wonder if there's a giant vat of sour cream to go with? And is there a giant fork? If not, you'd need giant fingers to manhandle that thing into my giant mouth.

Fellow Canucks will doubtless remember the Corner Gas episode in which the people of Dog River decide to build a giant "thing" to attract tourists. Their vision is to create a giant farm implement to represent prairie agriculture, and one naive resident (I think she's the mayor's grandma) suggests a hoe, but not a new hoe, a well-used one, one with dirt on it and maybe a crack from all the use it has received.

Yep. A giant hoe. A giant cracked hoe, with dirt on it.

A GIANT DIRTY OLD CRACK HEAUX.



One of the coolest things I noticed when we were moving halfway across the great country of Canada, was the overwhelmingly sheer number of small towns with giant "things." They were everywhere. Giant fish. Giant moose. Giant bugs. You name it, it was there.

This summer Dave and I drove the boys back to Ontario (after an awesome couple of months together) and, on our way home, we vowed to stop and take a picture of every giant "thing" we came across. And, lucky you, I plan on sharing all my "things" here on this misbegotten and forgotten blog!

Today's giant "thing" is, indeed, a thing. A Volkswagen Beetle turned into some kind of weird spider/bug/thing wearing a top hat. Because, you know, all giant bugs want to wear top hats. It's in front of an automotive shop outside of Kenora, Ontario.

And, oh yeah, that's my honey-bun dancing in front of the giant bug. (As you do.)

He was NOT dancing after the 534th giant thing we came across. (Whining, yes, dancing, not so much.)


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