Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Albert Einstein Side of My Brain


I get my best ideas while changing the kitty litter, like solving world hunger and reinventing the square wheel. I seem to go off into some kind of scoop 'n poop la-la-land. One side of my brain is busy being Albert Einstein, the other half is, well, gawd knows what it is doing. Obviously not thinking, that's for sure.

I bought these cheap-ass garbage bags for kitty poop purposes and the first time I went to use them, I realized I wouldn't be able to get one open without wet fingers. You know how plastic bags glom together? You need mad skills to get some of them open, either that or some spit on your fingers.

Usually I lick my fingers in order to open said bags. But at that moment they were covered in kitty litter germs. Which are, like, fatal, right? I mean, who wants to get kitty poop in their mouth? I sat there staring at the bag, trying to figure out a way to open it without licking my crap encrusted fingers. Finally I just said, "feck it," maybe if I lick 'em real quick the germs won't stick. Like the three second food on the floor rule.

"Gah," I said, making quick work of the licking.

It wasn't until I was done spitting in the sink and rinsing my mouth out with gagloads of salt water and Listerine that Albert Einstein finally took over the D-oh part of my brain: I didn't have to lick my finger - all I had to do was SPIT on it.

13 comments:

  1. Hope you got rid of all the germs.

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  2. Oh gack. Detruffelating the kitty litter is very low on my list of preferred jobs.
    Nice to hear that someone else has problems with opening rotten bags though. I always assumed it was my total ineptness on display...

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  3. I was yelling "Just spit, Cathy!" But, you will next time. I hate those bags.

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  4. I always grab the bag first, then lick, THEN approach the litter. There is a method to my madness... ;)

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  5. My dad would always put that into a nearby container with a lid. Problem solved, as long as the lid stayed closed.

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  6. Bahaha Don't feel bad, I wouldn't have thought of spitting on it either though. Isn't the litter box near a sink you could've either washed your hand or wet your fingers to open the bag?

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  7. Oh, good lord! I'm laughing. I didn't even think of spitting on my fingers. In future, rub your palms together, quickly, with the edge of the bag you want to open between them. The friction will lessen the glom-ness and it should come open. It works with those plastic bags in the fruit and vegetable department that I do believe were put there to humble the proud.

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  8. LOL, spitting works much better. I do that when picking doggie doodles. Btw, the "cat litter germs" are only dangerous when you are pregnant and have not been exposed to cat litter before. Otherwise, not a big deal.

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  9. thanks for reminding me I need to change the litter

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  10. hahahahahahahahaha, thanks cath, you rock!

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  11. Ha ha ha! I was shouting 'Spit! Just spit!' at the screen as I read this. :-D
    At least your cat doesn't remind you to change the kitty litter by peeing on your hand while you are sleeping. Mine did that once, but I guess I deserved it. :-/

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  12. Ahahaaha. I never get any ideas changing the cat litter. Just cats bugging me.

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