E is for Erotic Earlobes

I was touching my earlobes last night, as we are all wont to do, and quite suddenly I fell in lust with them. Incredibly soft, supple, smooth – all the sexy s words. Even now, as I write this, I can't stop feeling them up.

Like all good feeling up, this is perhaps done better without aid of a mirror, especially when one is old, like me, and gravity has pulled the lobes in the general vicinity of the boobs, which are hovering somewhere between my hips and the south pole. Not the one I'm dancing with, the one with the penguins.

So plump, my ear lobes are. Plump. Soft. Inviting. Excuse me while I stroke them ...

Sorry. I'm back now. Wow that was good. I was thinking that ear lobes could be the New Breasts. Porn stars will start having them augmented and wind up with lobes the size of coffee cups, and just as hard, with the skin all stretched and the piercings gaping. A whole new genre in porn will hit the market. Can you imagine the titles?

LUSCIOUS LOBES.

THE HAPPY HEARER.

EAROTICA.

ERICA EATS EAR WAX.

And do we even need to talk about ear canals???? My mother always said, "don't stick anything bigger in your ear than your elbow," but I wasn't thinking about elbows ...