Smell This

Gee, my arm smells terrific.
I've been smelling it all day, bringing my arm up to my nose and sniffing deep and going, "Mmmmm I smell GOOD."
Go ahead, have a sniff.
Wait, just my arm. Hey! Now you're just getting fresh. STOP THAT!
OK, somebody keep an eye on Alan Davidson ... he keeps sneaking up and STOP THAT!
Thanks, Harry. The cuffs are over there –  can you please? Yes, thanks. Alan, stop whining, I'm trying to talk here.
The reason, ladies and gentlemen, that I smell so good is because of Soap & Glory Mist You Madly.
Oh. My. Living. Gawd. To die for, I swear.
I found this stuff in Shopper's Drug Mart a month or so ago and was immediately smitten with the smart-alecky, punny, 1950s vintage glamour girl packaging. All pale pink and bubbly, it was, with black and white photos of young women with too much red lipstick. (How do I know it's red in a b&w photo? Are you stupid? It just is. Back in the day, my mom only had one tube of lipstick in her purse and it was the same colour every other woman at the supermarket had: Ravishing Red.
So I bought this stuff, a complete impulse buy based solely on the groovy packaging. (Who says packaging doesn't sell? Look at Lady Gaga.)
Unlike Lady Gag-gag, the shower gel has substance. It lathers up in a creamy dream and it makes me feel all girly and pretty. The gel doesn't have a lingering aroma, which is good because my workplace has a no-scents policy.
Yesterday, though, I went back to the drug store and bought a whole bunch of new Soap & Glory stuff. Hand lotion. A different kind of shower gel, bubble bath and a body spray. I thought the spray would be my least favourite thing but IT'S MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE.
It says something like "spray it every time you need a shot of fabulous" or something like that. So I spray it constantly because it's true, I feel fabulous, all day long, fabulous, fabulous, fabulous.
The link to this fountain of fabulosity is HERE. It's available at most Shopper's Drug Marts (the bigger stores anyway, not at the little tiny one in Haliburton) in Canada and at Boot's in the U.K. I checked the American site and it's not available in the U.S. until this September. (It's worth the wait; trust me.)
The reason I am spouting off about the glories of Soap & Glory is because I love it and every time I fall in love with some new product, it gets yanked off the shelves by stoopid businessmen who wouldn't know a great product from a hole in their arse.
They took away Bojac salad dressing. They changed the taste of Goodies. They stopped making my favourite L'oreal Vive shampoo.
So please. Do me and yourself a favour. Smell my arm then go buy yourself or your lady friend a couple bottles of Mist You Madly body spray.
OK Harry, you can uncuff Alan now.
Whaddya mean he likes it?