Tuesday, April 2, 2013

B is for Bear

Bear said, "The Dancing Queen is advancing towards venerability. She is not fat; she is substantial." And I pause, as I am reading yesterday's comments, to read this again. It sinks in, this comment from a wise and loving Bear, past the muck of depression that has been settling on my shoulders and carving cement slippers for my charmless feet.

Depression silences me. I feel I have nothing to offer, nothing that is not angry or sad or pathetic. I miss my husband, who has crossed the country to improve our lot in life, and yes, it's a good thing, and yes, I'll be joining him in a couple of months, but I still hunger for his arms wrapped around me on a day when I am friendless and wounded and bloody hopeless. We're always kicked when we're down, have you noticed? It's when you're already fragile and broken that your teeth are smashed by a passing steel-toed boot.

But then I read Bear's comment and I imagined a venerable Dancing Queen in a stately ball gown, not shimmying or sweating, but floating majestically across the hallowed hardwood floors of a substantial life and I realized, that's who I am. The girl is gone, and who cares, but this substantial woman, this venerable woman, will carry on with the grace, knowledge and dignity earned from a lifetime spun on a thousand dance floors.              

See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the Dancing Queen.

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I'm taking part in the A to Z Blogging Challenge for the month of April. For more information, click here.

31 comments:

  1. What a delightful blog header! I am sorry you and your soul-mate are separated for a time, and I extend the hand of friendship and a warm hug of a stranger to you. Hope the time apart passes quickly and you have many distractions to keep you "up." Happy "B" Day!
    tm

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    1. Thanks, Ornery! And thanks for the follow, too. Much appreciated!

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  2. I don't think we can ever completely let go of the little girls we were - and not that we should - but it's probably a good thing to release at least some of those memories, that pain, so we can grow and become the women we are meant to be.

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  3. Thank goodness the Bear found you. Keep your head up and your feet moving. All this will soon pass and you will be off on your new adventure.

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  4. I'm so sorry this separation is weighing heavily on you. I hope you can get your house sold quickly and head out to Alberta. BTW, you haven't lived till you've heard the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus sing 'Dancin' Queen'.

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  5. Chin up, move on...and dance! That's my advice for both of us. ;) You'll be spinning on the dance floor with your partner before you know it.

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  6. "past the muck of depression that has been settling on my shoulders and carving cement slippers for my charmless feet" < Great line!

    I'm sorry you are feeling down but Spring is here and I would wager you can't contain the funny all the way through Z.

    Cheers to you!

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  7. Chin up, kid - and boy, I can see you dancing, even all the way over here across the 'pond'!

    I'm sorry that life's circumstances mean you and Dave are separated - maybe you should resort to 'snail mail' and script him a love letter.....always good to look back on in the future!

    Hope the house-sale is well on the way?

    (hugs)xx

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  8. Being away from your husband, that's hard. Hopefully it will only be for a short duration.

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  9. Amen. You rock dancin' queen. :)

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  10. You just picked yourself back up again!
    Girls are overrated. Women are where it's at.

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  11. It's hard when the family isn't together, but you're right, all those experiences earned on the hardwood floors of a substantial life will carry you through.

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  12. You have such a lovely way with words and its as if they are coated in nostalgia. The song choice too compliments the subject matter as it is a party-cheer-up-happy dance number. This was a pleasure to read and I hope you have armoured up :D

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  13. Powerfully written, Cathie. You have described yourself well! You will indeed "carry on with the grace, knowledge and dignity earned from a lifetime spun on a thousand dance floors." And thanks.

    Hope you and Dave are together soon. Sounds like an exciting adventure is on the offing. I hope so. Please don't keep us in suspense too long!

    Blessings and Bear hugs.

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  14. Continue to glide effortlessly over that dance floor! Even if there are cement chunks slowing you down!

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  15. I so wish your life resettled. You will arrive, you are venerable.

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  16. When things get settled through all of this, the depression will lift somewhat.

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  17. There are such wonderful things to come when your family is all together again!

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  18. Ah, Dancing Queen... it evokes feelings of nostalgia...
    Hang in there... you'll be fine... things will get better...

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  19. There is so much happening in your life Cathy. I know where your mindset is at because I've been there. Greet each new day. Why? Because ya gotta laugh about it :)

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  20. I love how you write through your depression and the beauty you call forth in your words, thank you.

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  21. Women have curves darlin' and Gawd knows... we are all women. :) ((HUGS))

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  22. You know, I'd be pretty psyched if people only called me "substantial."

    I somehow missed that you were doing A-to-Z, too! We'll have to cross paths more often, Cathy.

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  23. How can one post make me sad at the same time filling me with hope? Interesting post. Good luck with the challenge! I participated last year and had a blast!

    Donna L Martin
    www.donasdays.blogspot.com

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  24. so many wise comments above, wishing you bright days C you tomorrow!

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  25. God I love reading your writing.
    You rock on with your bad self. :)

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  26. Hooray for Bear for Bringing some Badly needed sense into your Brain. Not hopeless. A Bodacious joy to many of us.

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  27. It's great that one comment like that can turn your mindset around. You rock, Cathy!

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