Sunday, April 7, 2013

G is for Geez, what next?


My life lately has been one problem after another. Wham! Deal with it. Wham! Crap, deal with it, too. Wham-whacka-whacka-feckitty-feck, what else? What fecking else?

One of the conditions of our house sale was an inspection. The guy showed up on Saturday and spent nearly two hours doing the equivalent of a pap smear to our property. Things were going surprisingly well, which should have been a clue that the other crap-covered shoe was about to drop. As he was leaving the inspector came to our door and announced he had found vermiculite in our attic.

Vermiculite?

He was holding a baggie full of some kind of gray pebbly stuff. "Vermiculite itself isn't a problem," he said. "The problem is, it could contain asbestos."

Asbestos. I knew what asbestos was. Asbestos is a nasty, cancer-causing, house-deal-killing toxic nightmare that requires haz-mat suits, masks and tons of money to clean up.

I can't even tell you how discouraging this is. The building inspection that was done in 2004 made no mention of vermiculite. "Fibreglass" was the only insulation type listed by the lazy, lying, no-good inspector at the time. We can't sue, of course, because the inspection was paid for by the people we bought the house from. Screwed, blued and tattooed, that's us.

So here's the deal. The vermiculite has to tested. If it is asbestos-free, the people who want our house will firm up their offer. If it has asbestos, Dave and I will have to pay to have it professionally removed and new insulation put in, at a ballpark cost of $10,000.

If we were making money off the sale of our house, that $10,000 might not be such a big deal. But we are already losing money – $16,000, to be exact. That's how much cash we will have to shell out to get out of our mortgage, pay the realtor, the lawyer and whoever else has their hands out. Apparently we paid too much for the property four years ago – that, combined with a flaccid economy, has meant we will not be making enough money from the deal to pay our bills.

If asbestos is found, we might have to pay $26,000 or more on the day the deal closes.

In case you're thinking we have $26,000 hanging around, we don't. We will have to cash in our investments, sell a lot of our belongings and maybe borrow money in order to get this done. And if we have to pay to have the asbestos removed, there's no way we can afford to buy a house when we move to Alberta. We'll have to rent for a while, and that's fine, but that sucks because we're old and we had dreams, and now they're probably going to be crushed.

If my luck wasn't so shitty right now I'd say there's a good chance there won't be asbestos in the vermiculite. But it's me we're talking about and, dollars to doughnuts our attic is full of it.

Some days I don't think I can take one more bad thing. Not. One. More.

35 comments:

  1. Oh boy....fingers and toes crossed that there is no asbestos in the vermiculite. Things have GOT to start getting better for you and quickly.

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    1. From what I understand, asbestos insulation is not a problem as long as it is not disturbed. Legally you are not required to remove it .. you do have to make full disclosure of it to prospective buyers IF you know about it. Unless they are planning on renovating and stirring up the asbestos it shouldn't be a problem for them.

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  2. Oh craaaaapppppppppp that fecking SUCKS! I hope and pray that it's asbestos-free and damn the builders to hell for putting that stuff in homes. I think it was finally banned in the mid-70s, but my townhouse in CA (1975) and house in WA (1976) had it in the popcorn ceilings but it wasn't a condition of sale, other than disclosing it. There was never any mention of removal. Is this something new I wonder or just in Canada? Let us know.

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    1. I'll definitely let you know! I probably won't hear back for a week or two, though.

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    1. If you've got connections with the Man Upstairs, Alex, I could use his help!!! :)

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  4. Jeez! I've got my fingers crossed for you that it turns out to be asbestos free.

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  5. Its a sign! You're meant to stay in Ontario!!! But since I'm feeling like my luck sucks too for other reasons, I hope its all just a bad nightmare. When will you get results??? Hoping for the best for you!!!

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  6. Its a sign! You're meant to stay in Ontario!!! But since I'm feeling like my luck sucks too for other reasons, I hope its all just a bad nightmare. When will you get results??? Hoping for the best for you!!!

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  7. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ASBESTOS!!!!!!! I, Lisa the squaretoothed gypsy queen forbid it!!! I shake my magical gyspy tambourine and there is no asbestos!! None. Nada. Niete. (I think that's Russian.)

    Sending you asbestos free thoughts my dear!! xoxo

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  8. Oh Firetruck. That is so unfair. The wise words from Delores would apply here too. Though without doubt the purchaser would lower their offer.
    So no asbestos. None. At all.
    Sending so many good wishes your way. Fingers and toes firmly crossed.

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  9. ....and this too shall pass!

    The bottom line is: when all this crap gets sorted you & Dave can be together again, regardless of whether you can buy or have to rent! Together, you can take on the world - in fact, together you ARE the world to each other!

    One day Cathy, (sooner rather than later, I hope!) this will be one of those 'do you remember when....' tales that you can look back on and laugh about!

    Chin up, kid - don't let the 'barstewards' grind you down! xxx

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  10. Moving to Alberta! I really haven't been in blog world for a long time. Hope thing turn out with the testing!

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  11. You can, girlfriend. You have a sense of humor - a powerful weapon agains all of life's jokes at your expense. I love reading your posts. You are raw, real and honest. Juliet atCity Muse Country Muse

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  12. If it makes you feel better, my friend has a perpetual black cloud that follows her around... with lightning. She needed some fast cash, so she was really timely with filing her taxes this year.... like in January she filed, and was happily awaiting her few thousand in return money. But since in all her years she never filed early, like EVER, the IRS flagged her as suspicious, and now won't process her claim until after April 15th. They won't even talk to her about it either.

    So, yeah... you're not alone darlin'...

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  13. Sigh.

    The 'don't disturb it' advice may be worth checking.

    My advice is don't sell it. Find a renter for the cabin and one for the upper salon and one for the garage until you can affor to do the 'remediation'. Then sell when the market is better. (or when I can scrape up the dough).

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  14. Jeez! Hang in there, Cathy. It will all work out for the best. I understand the old, "how did we get here at this point in our lives?" thing only too well. I'm ready to sell for a loss (kidnapping a buyer, of course) and plopping in an apartment where I don't have to shell out money for repairs.
    Just stay focused on being reunited with your man soon. :)

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  15. Another hug--and I agree with the "don't disturb it" advice. There is always a way through when we are faced with these types of things.
    tm

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  16. Oh, bother! All the advice I can think of has been given. Another thing....

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  17. Oh, dear! I m so sad to hear this news. One more thing you did not need! I do hope the testing works out well!

    Oh, yeah. One other thing. You are not old! Now, you may feel a bit worn out, but you're not OLD! I thought I had already explained that to you.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting

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  18. Oh no and I am sorry. I don't do "Everything happens for a reason," etc. etc. Life is not fair.

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  19. That blows. So sorry to hear about it Cath. House closings are so stressful. *Fingers crossed* everything works out for you.

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  20. I hope you don't have asbestos. that would stink. Geez, indeed!

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  21. Oh man! Boo for bad home inspectors :( My fingers will be crossed for you to get good news..

    AJ Lauer
    #atozchallenge helper minion
    Twitter: @ayjaylauer

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  22. Well....ffffffff......keep us posted...

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  23. So here's a good thing--a genuine compliment. Your writing is so honest and true, your face breaks through. Hope you get good news from that retched-fretched inspector.
    A to Z'er, Jagoda from http://www.conflicttango.com

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  24. Fingers and legs crossed
    ( I have a bladder problem)

    Chin up
    X

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  25. Oh I do hope it is not asbestos I cannot believe the person before doing the inspection did not know this. It probably isn't "Chin up " as they say. Take care. B

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  26. People make such a bloody fuss about asbestos. Unless you drill it, or sand it, and breathe in the dust, it is a perfectly good material. Let's hope the test goes your way!

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  27. Don't stop, please, I love your writing!

    I've nominated you for an award :)
    http://effervescencia.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/liebster-award.html

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  28. Reading this one today, and it looks like things are improving at the moment for you....

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