Weezie And World Domination

I've been busier than a two-peckered rooster in a henhouse these last few days, what with celebrating yet another fecking birthday (yup, another year closer to wearing a tombstone on my head – and I thought I was having a bad hair day already), putting on an ab-fab Thanksgiving spread and obsessively checking my book stats.

It's the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do at night, and yes, it's the thing I do all day long, you know, when I'm not watching my dog's bum hole. Stats, bum hole. Bum hole, stats.

In the first few days after I released Green Eggs & Weezie, my book sold like silicone in Beverley Hills. In fact, it sold so well that it made #25 on the the Amazon.ca bestseller in fiction and literature list. I kid you not! But let's be real – that was only, like, 10 books. Apparently in Canada it only takes 10 books to be a bestselling author, but of course only 12 people live here. In igloos.

Alas, when all my friends and family finished buying their books, Weezie slid off the bestseller list and into the absolute obscurity of #1,950 in Canada and #130,975 in America. I haven't sold any books anywhere else. I can't imagine why non-English-speaking people in Japan and France haven't picked up my book. And I was sure there would be a rush on it in Denmark.

As of this morning, I've sold 51 books. Fifty-one! I'm RICH! heheheh... Seriously, that makes me happy. It does. And I am grateful to each and every one of you who bought one. THANK YOU dear hearts! It's a blessed wonder to have such friends!

Now the problem is, I'm outta friends. How is Weezie supposed to secure World Domination now???? I frankly have no idea. Do you? Seriously, any ideas for spreading the word on ol' Weezie-pants? I could use some advice. Oh, and if you feel the need to buy a book, here's some links:

Amazon.ca

Amazon.com

Kobo

Chapters/Indigo

Amazon.uk

For now, Green Eggs & Weezie is only available as an e-book. I'm thinking about making it available as an actual hardcover book but that's on the back-burner for now as I approach National Novel Writing Month and start to embrace the idea of writing novel #2. But for those without a Kindle or an e-reader, you can still buy the book and read it on your computer or your tablet or even your phone. When you buy the book from Kobo, you're given the choice on how you want to read it. With Amazon, you can download free apps to read it how you choose.

And to anyone who has read Weezie, and liked it, I would sincerely appreciate a review on any of the bookseller's websites, or on Goodreads, or on your own Facebook page or blog.

Oh, and please tell me if I'm being a pain. I don't want to be obnoxious about this – it's the LAST thing I want.

Hugs to you all! And again. Thanks.