Whenever I go on vacation, I do laundry. Rabidly. There is so much foam dripping off my bottom lip that there is no need to add Tide to the wash cycle. I do laundry like it's the end of the world, laundry-wise, that there will never be another chance to wash Dave's delicates, and so I wash with abject fear in my heart that all his delicates will soon be crusties.
So I took a job. Haven't had a job since last May.
I. AM. TERRIFIED.
I have vague recollections of putting dish soap in the staff room dishwasher, but otherwise I believe I have forgotten how to be employed.
This is a cool job – not that I'm dissing Walmart (although I guess I am), but my job is way cooler than Walmart. I'm going to be doing social media stuff for a local car dealership. Blogging, tweeting, facebooking, linked in-ing, stuff like that. I have to check and see if Candy Crushing is on my agenda. Wouldn't that be awesome? Crushing jellies and getting paid for it? (To my new boss: KIDDING!)
At any rate, starting my anti-vacation has led me to become intimately connected with the washing machine, the Swiffer and all other things household-ish. The thing I want to tell you about, the really big thing, the thing that brought me here today in the first place, is my new Ultimate Spinning Mop and Bucket.
Please feel free to wolf whistle at its bodacious beauty. I'll wait ...
You put your water and cleaning solution in, dunk in the mop, spin it around to get it all soapy, then lift it up with one smooth motion and spin it again to get excess water out. So easy you could get your husband to do it, I swear. Plus it's a "gadget" and everyone knows men love gadgets even more than they love us.
Even Canadian beer.
As far as I know you can only get the Ultimate Spinning Mop and Bucket at Home Hardware in Canada, but I've googled it and apparently there are similar gadgets at other places all over the world, even on Amazon.
Now excuse me while I go to the store to buy new underwear, because everyone knows you can't start an anti-vacation without fresh gotch.
P.S. How about those Olympics, eh? Go Canada!