Here's Looking At You, Kid

Yeah, I know, this picture is disturbing on SO many levels.

But, come on, it's FUNNY!

Sorry, but it's not my fault. This is what happens when ad salesmen bring leftover Christmas candy into the workplace. Especially the bitsy mini licorice allsorts. So clever, these baby yummies are.

It was Friday afternoon, all the sane people at work had already left work and a few of us were hanging around because we were down on our butt-kissing quotas. One co-worker, who asked me politiely not to use her name ("CATHY SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU USE MY NAME I WILL HURT YOU"), was buggering about. 

At least I was pretending to work.

Suddenly she appeared from around the corner, two mini licorice allsorts stuck to her eyeballs.

She was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face.

And so was I, of course.

"WAIT! LEMME TAKE YOUR PICTURE!"

So she posed, still laughing, but her fingers were blocking the licorice.

"LAY DOWN ON THE FLOOR!" I ordered, a la Karsh.

So she did, laughing so hard I think she popped a major organ.

Our floor is somewhat industrial. I think the last time it was cleaned was 1962.

I think tonight she might have had a hard time explaining to her hubby why there was dust all over her back.

I could hardly wait to bring this picture home and Photoshop it.

After I erased her natural eyeballs, I showed the pix to my family members who were suitably appalled.

My job here is done.