Sunday, April 18, 2010

What Women Talk About On Friday Night When There's Nothing On TV

Friday night: nothing on TV.
CJ Hodges-MacFarlane and I are goofing around on Facebook. After 31 comments back and forth we decide to take it to Messenger. Mostly our conversation revolves around the upcoming nuptials of her five-year-old daughter, Maggie, to my nine-year-old son, Sam.
Maggie already knows what she's wearing and Sam already knows he'd rather be stark naked than caught dead in a monkey suit. Maggie is planning her visit to Canada. Sam is thinking about moving to Siberia.
We also talk about writing a lot.
I drive CJ (and  a lot of people) crazy because I am the world's oldest and fattest cheerleader, always trying to talk someone into something. With CJ, I'm always trying to talk her into writing more.
We begin this conversation when it's almost done, with CJ telling me to "put away my pom-poms."

CJ says: (10:56:24 PM)

put away your pompoms .. we'll see

Cathy says: (10:56:31 PM)


Cathy says: (10:56:34 PM)


Cathy says: (10:56:41 PM)

I shoulda been a cheerleader.

Cathy says: (10:56:49 PM)

Yah, but look who talked who into fridayflash?

CJ says: (10:57:09 PM)

yes, but you're a natural, i was just fooling around

Cathy says: (10:57:26 PM)

yes, but you're a natural, i've just had more practise.

CJ says: (10:57:34 PM)


Cathy says: (10:57:37 PM)


Cathy says: (10:57:39 PM)


Cathy says: (10:57:51 PM)

I'm so tired I feel like I'm writing your story.

CJ says: (10:58:11 PM)

heh - okay - you can be a guest blogger on mine .. you're into that!

Cathy says: (10:58:19 PM)

I'll guest anywhere....

Cathy says: (10:58:22 PM)


CJ says: (10:59:01 PM)

you can write my day for me. "Today CJ woke up to the chirpy voice of Maggie asking to see a picture of Sam, before she even got out of her little bed."

Cathy says: (10:59:32 PM)

YOu should see Sam's face! He just came out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth, I read that and he ran away again!

CJ says: (10:59:43 PM)


CJ says: (11:00:00 PM)

well if he wasn't so darn handsome

Cathy says: (11:00:01 PM)

I think he thinks she's cute, for a stinky girl, that is.

CJ says: (11:00:23 PM)

cute like a puppy, not cute like a girl - which bodes poorly for maggie's little wedding plans

Cathy says: (11:00:24 PM)

Angus thinks she's a cute little kid, y'know, for a little kid.

Cathy says: (11:00:43 PM)

Sam is at that stage in his life where all girls are icky.

Cathy says: (11:00:49 PM)

Except his mother, of course.

CJ says: (11:00:57 PM)

don't worry, her teeth will come in all funky and she'll get fat and snottier

Cathy says: (11:01:10 PM)

Sam says, "YAAAA."

Cathy says: (11:01:14 PM)

Not sure why.

Cathy says: (11:01:28 PM)

Just like us all. Crooked, fat and snotty.

CJ says: (11:01:34 PM)

LOL - exactly

Cathy says: (11:01:36 PM)

No wonder men love us so.

CJ says: (11:02:09 PM)

so far, all the girls have scarily straight teeth. JT's are a bit jumbled, but not too bad. I had braces

Cathy says: (11:02:21 PM)

I had fake braces.

CJ says: (11:02:32 PM)

I had fake glasses

Cathy says: (11:02:35 PM)

The kind where the dentist takes out four teeth and wraps a rubber band aroound the remaining four.

Cathy says: (11:02:42 PM)

I had real glasses.

Cathy says: (11:02:48 PM)

I had fat calves.

CJ says: (11:02:56 PM)

i had a fat tummy

Cathy says: (11:03:05 PM)

I had no boobs.

CJ says: (11:03:16 PM)

i had a deformed toe

Cathy says: (11:03:23 PM)

I had no eyelids.

CJ says: (11:03:26 PM)


Cathy says: (11:03:38 PM)

Do I win?

CJ says: (11:04:01 PM)

well, that was a scary mental tortorous picture, but i doubt you meant it literally - so no.

Cathy says: (11:04:10 PM)

ACtually, I did.

CJ says: (11:04:32 PM)

what do you mean, no eyelids??

CJ says: (11:04:45 PM)

who doesn't have eyelids?

Cathy says: (11:04:50 PM)

Me and the boys are comparing eyelids.

CJ says: (11:04:50 PM)

your eyes would get dusty.

Cathy says: (11:04:57 PM)

And they'd fall out, true.

CJ says: (11:04:58 PM)


Cathy says: (11:05:05 PM)

I'm not lacking. Just challenged.

CJ says: (11:05:09 PM)


Cathy says: (11:05:11 PM)

Not a lot of room for eyeshadow.

CJ says: (11:05:16 PM)

i'm overabundant

Cathy says: (11:05:23 PM)

Oh sure. Brag.

CJ says: (11:05:28 PM)

i just did.

Cathy says: (11:05:28 PM)


CJ says: (11:05:32 PM)


Cathy says: (11:05:48 PM)

I am going to copy this part of the conversation and blog it tomorrow. Is that OK with you?

CJ says: (11:05:58 PM)

uh, sure?

Cathy says: (11:06:25 PM)

I'll call it What Women Talk About On Friday Night When There's Nothing On TV

Cathy says: (11:06:30 PM)

Or something.

Cathy says: (11:06:50 PM)

Ok, so you're not impressed.

CJ says: (11:06:55 PM)

heheh - i recorded my program so I could chat with you.

CJ says: (11:07:11 PM)

and i think it will be hilarious, but already I'm mentally editing certain statements of mine

Cathy says: (11:07:20 PM)


Cathy says: (11:07:23 PM)

You're such a woman

CJ says: (11:07:25 PM)


Cathy says: (11:07:36 PM)

I am now taking out all references to other people.

Cathy says: (11:07:42 PM)

And certain illegal activities.

Cathy says: (11:07:48 PM)

In short, all the good stuff.

CJ says: (11:07:52 PM)

there aren't any, are there? oh .. how much are you copying?????

Cathy says: (11:07:57 PM)

None yet.

Cathy says: (11:08:04 PM)

Gonna wait until we're done.

CJ says: (11:08:18 PM)

well. I trust you I guess.

Cathy says: (11:08:23 PM)


Cathy says: (11:08:25 PM)


CJ says: (11:08:26 PM)


Cathy says: (11:08:32 PM)

Even though I have no eyelids?

Cathy says: (11:08:38 PM)

And my fat calves are hairy?

CJ says: (11:08:41 PM)

And even if i'm embarrassed - it'll be funny, that i know

CJ says: (11:09:08 PM)

if you can put up with my sticky-up toe and belly, i can put up with your eyelid deficit

CJ says: (11:09:18 PM)

and calves

Cathy says: (11:09:35 PM)

Oh. I gotta go.. Two boys are dying to be put to bed.

CJ says: (11:09:49 PM)

Alrighty, this was FUN :)

Cathy says: (11:10:02 PM)

It WAS. Let's do it again when you're taping something on TV!

CJ says: (11:10:19 PM)

LOL - or any other time! just be at my beck and call.

Cathy says: (11:10:33 PM)

OK.. g'night!

Cathy says: (11:10:38 PM)


CJ says: (11:10:38 PM)

sleep tight

Cathy says: (11:10:44 PM)

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

CJ says: (11:10:45 PM)

thank YOU

CJ says: (11:10:50 PM)



  1. You ladies slay me...

    Enlightening information regarding the pair of you. Sadly, I checked out at 11:03:23pm when Cathy revealed that she lacked eyelids. You both are funny, yet scary at the same time. I think I'll go back to my moose now.

  2. We should do a radio show that no one listens to - it'd be a hoot.

  3. Ya, we should.
    Let's do it.
    *pom-poms shaking*
    Whattasamatter, Alan, you don't like women without eyelids?

  4. No eyelids sort of means that the woman keep not only one eye on me all the time, but two...BTW I don't think the *pom-pom shaking* schtick would work on the radio.

  5. I think you guys could definitely do a morning radio show. But alan's right, the pom poms probably wouldn't work so well. Maybe one of those cheerleader megaphones? Rah, rah, rah!

  6. 1st. Very clever that you got her written consent and posted it, lmao.

    2nd. Remind me to monitor any and all comments that I make to you. Hehehe.

    3rd. Someone give CJ a "good sport" award!

    4th. Women rock and that was freaking hilarious! Our chatter is sooo much more fun than men's. I chuckled throughout, and unlike Alan, I made it past the eyelids, lol!

    5th. Hmmm...naw I couldn't my private conversations. There isn't enough Windex in the world to clean them up. Cheers Ladies! ;D


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