Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Arthur needn't worry


Well you could have knocked me over with a chickadee feather! Maybe even a hummingbird feather. No, maybe a BABY hummingbird feather – now that's a little feather!

I was in the lunch room at work, foraging for iceberg lettuce with carrot croutons (num-num-num), when I was approached by the lovely and talented Pamela Steel who, as well as being my friend, is also the editor of the Bracebridge Examiner and the Muskoka Weekender. She's a big cheese, a femme de fromage, and while she is hilarious she takes her job seriously and would never jeopardize it just to kiss my extra-round lily white ass.

So when she asked if I could start running my blog posts as a column in the Weekender, I was gob-smacked. Suddenly I was channelling Sally Field from her infamous Oscar acceptance speech. "You like me! You really like me!"

Pamela said something like, "What's not to like?" and flattered me just enough to make me feel like the second coming of Woodward and Bernstein. She even said, "If it works out, I think maybe you can replace Arthur Black." Ooooooh...that's heady stuff. Arthur Black is a syndicated and popular columnist who has been running a column in the Weekender since, well, I have no idea but it's been a heck of a long time.

After my head-swelling conversation with Pamela I danced back to my desk and shared our conversation with my workmates, thinking they would be thrilled with my news. Well, they started out happy for me but when I said, "and if it works out, I might even replace Arthur Black," thrilled wasn't the reaction I got.

"They're gonna pull Arthur Black?"

"But I love Arthur Black."

"YOUR blog is going to replace Arthur Black? Really? Are you sure?"

"His column is my favourite thing in the whole newspaper."

"Oh."

Nobody said, "Geez, Cathy, that's AWESOME! You're WAY funnier than Arthur Black! Congratulations! You rock! You are a rocking STAR! Screw Arthur Black! Way to go!"

Nope. Nobody said that. They just made wry faces and went back to work. Like I had just announced they weren't getting paid this week. Obviously Arthur Black needn't worry about me taking over his Bracebridge newspaper crown. He is much beloved (for good reason).

Anyway. (Sigh.) I have to go through my blog posts and come up with some that are funny but aren't libellous, that don't have the feck word too many times and are local enough to appeal to a local crowd. I think that narrows my selection down to about two. Feck.

Whoops. There goes another one.

56 comments:

  1. Well I'm standing on my desk over here cheering and yelling and waving....this is fantastic....what an opportunity. Looking forward to seeing lots more blogs here about the locals.

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    1. I see ya, Delores! I see ya! Thanks so much for your cheering and yelling! Means the world to me! WOOT! oxoxo

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  2. I have never read Arthur Black's column in the Weekender.....ever. But I read your blog posts all the time. Good decision on the part of the femme de fromage.

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  3. Congrats Cathy! Awsome! Maybe there's room for two big guns to have columns in the paper! Makes for good reading! Go back to your dancing and keep saying Feck! Makes me laugh every time!

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    1. Feck, feck, feck, feckitty-feck... *pirouetting across the kitchen*

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  4. Yay! Gimmie a C, gimmie an A...and so forth until you get to Y. Wadda ya got? Someone who's got a new column, that's what. And what a great idea, getting you out there so more people can enjoy. :)

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  5. First, WHAT? Pamela is the editor of the Bracebridge Examiner and the Muskoka Weekender? When did that happen, and why am I always the last to know?
    And second, CONGRATULATIONS! What a great idea: the Weekender will get some fantastic new material (move over, Arthur), and your wonderful work will be read by even more people. *hug*

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    1. Yes! Pamela's the femme de fromage ... for a few weeks now. We're all very thrilled to have her in the building - a real breath of fresh happy air!

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  6. I think THIS post should be your first column for The Weekender. :)

    Congratulations!

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  7. Geez, Cathy, that's AWESOME! You're WAY funnier than Arthur Black! Congratulations! You rock! You are a rocking STAR! Screw Arthur Black! Way to go!

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    1. OMG, I laughed my ASS off when I saw your comment today. Like, OUT LOUD laughing. You're hilarious, Tim.

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  8. I don't know who Arthur Black is, but I'm sure you're way funnier than he is. You rock, girl! I've been meaning to tell you that you already have a full novel (or two) in your blog posts. Put them together and sell them on Smashwords!

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    1. You mean like Bridget Jones' Diary, only when Bridget is middle-aged and chubby?? Sorry, chubbier? Actually, that's a very good idea, Laura... seriously... I'm thinking about it...

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  9. you are awesome! and I have something on my site to prove it :)

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    1. Oh! A surprise! Coming over to see!

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    2. Thanks for the award! :) And wow, I just love your friend Rana's blog.

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  10. Wahoo!!! Congrats, Kathy! If anyone deserves to have their words read by a wider audience, it's you darlin'!

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    1. Are you saying my new audience will be fatter?
      LOL!
      Thanks Shannon!

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  11. Geez, Cathy, that's AWESOME! You're WAY funnier than Arthur Black! Congratulations! You rock! You are a rocking STAR! Screw Arthur Black! Way to go!"

    I love your blog!

    Evalina, This and that...

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    1. HAR!!! You and Tim and Joanne crack me up!!

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  12. Cathy, you're the funniest writer I know. Period. You can do this with or without the "fecks", and you deserve it. This is awesome. Fecking awesome, I might add. No, it's FECKING AWESOME!!! You were made for this.

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    1. Mark, your comment is FAN-FECKING-TASTIC!!!! WOOOOOOT! Love your Facebook comment too! Big smooches your way, fellah!

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  13. ARTHUR WHO??? I fecking agree with Mr. Kerstetter!

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    1. Lou, you're the smartest person I know.

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    2. You guys are BOTH the smartest people I know. TRUE.

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  14. Congratulations! That's so exciting and I'd much rather read your column than Arthur Black (Of course I have no idea who he is but that can be our secret!)

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    1. Aww, pshaw... now I'm starting to feel sorry for poor Arthur... he's VERY talented and VERY funny - one of Canada's best known syndicated columnists!!! (And I won't tell if you don't!)

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  15. I don't know anything about Arthur Black or even who he is, so I am jumping up and down (and all my jiggly bits are wobbling) with excitement for you!!! WELL DONE!!!! One gigantic leap for bloggers everywhere!!!! Congratulations you fabulous woman!!!! :)

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    1. One gigantic leap for bloggers, one wobbly leap for blogging kind!!!! You kill me, Lisa, you do!!! Hugs!

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  16. Joanne says "Geez, Cathy, that's AWESOME! You're WAY funnier than Arthur Black! Congratulations! You rock! You are a rocking STAR! Screw Arthur Black! Way to go!"

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  17. LOL
    Well, you know people and change... They don't really go together.

    Oh, by the way, did you point out to your son that my book has a character of the same name in it?

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    1. Oh Andrew, I hate to admit this but I haven't STARTED your book yet!!!!!! I'm in the middle of reading Johanna Garth's book (she's a couple of comments ahead of you up there and there's a link to her book over on the right side of my blog... I'm putting you up next, though, ok? You named one of your characters Angus? Wait a minute, did I already know that? Andrew? Did I mention I'm three-sheets to being totally senile? :0

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    2. Nooo... One of the characters is Sam.
      How many sheets does it take to reach totally senile? Three doesn't sound so bad. You know, unless 4 is all it takes to be all the way.

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  18. Arthur Black doesn't have anything on you!
    Congratulations, Cathy. I think it is awesome news.

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  19. Since I don't know Arther Black I can't speak on that but I've loved getting to know you via this blog so twenty WOOTS!!! for you. And hey, maybe those coworkers will recognize the gem they have and Arthur will become "Arthur Who?" :-)

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  20. Great recognition for your talents! Huzzah!

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  21. Screaming, whistling, confetti throwing from down under. You have your foot in the door. Besides, if Arthur has been doing is for a kazillion years he may wish to bow out gracefully. Now.
    Congratulations. And Jubilations.

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    1. LOL!!!! You make me smile and giggle, Mizz EC!!! Thanks for the confetti!!! AND the jubilations!

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  22. Congratulations! What awesome news!!!!! Your blog rocks and I'm glad you'll have a larger audience now! You could be the next Bloggess!!!!

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    1. The next Bloggess?? Be still my beating heart!!!! Thanks JoJo!

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  23. Maybe you could write a post about Arthur Black. One about how much people love him, or a tongue in cheek about how you'll never be like him.... or how you secretly stalk him... opps. Was I not supposed to say that?

    Feck.

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    1. HA!!!!!! You're a funny girl, Mizz Juli.

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    2. Yay! I am so pleased for you. I just have one favour to ask - Can I get your autograph before you get too famous?

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  24. this is too cute- I really like your blog and your style :) will be stopping by often!

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  25. Your co-workers are simply practicing third grade peer pressure less you get to be too good and thus, too much better than they. They have a need to keep each other in their place to secure the group. Or something like that.

    Regardless, this is so very cool Cathy, and I too am envious because this would be my dream job. What could be better than having your own column? Plus, you are the funniest writer I know and I like you. I really like you!

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  26. Wow Cathy that's amazing and fabulous I for one don't know who Arthur Black is, but I do know you! Don't forget me when you're famous, so that I'll be able to say yeah Cathy's my friend you know she writes a column in that fab newspaper the Weekender ;) You're A ☆ 。 Cathy and I only wish I had half your talent as a writer.

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  27. Well done, you!

    This could be the start of something BIG, Cathy - don't forget us also-rans when your (even more) famous! ;-)

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