Monday, June 27, 2011

My Big Surprise

Sure glad that weekend is over.
Let's move on, shall we?
What? You want to hear about my big surprise? Really? You're not humouring me, are you? You're not one of my relatives who ask, to be polite, how my book is going, then, when I ask if they want to hear a bit of it, they get that scared rabbit look in their eyes and make up an excuse about how it's time to go...
You really want to hear this?
(I love one-sided conversations where I imagine you hanging on my every word, looking adoringly up at me like these are the finest pearls ever to drip from the lips of a middle-aged fat woman.)
Friday night and I was exhausted. It as a week straight from hell. I came home, dropped my purse in the middle of the living room floor and headed straight to bed. "Dave?" I yelled, "come snuggle."
So he did and proceeded to listen to me whine about how tired I was until the phone rang and he leapt up from the bed like a singed cat. Never have I seen him jump out of bed in such a hurry.
The conversation he had was brief.
"Who was that?" I hollered, after he had hung up.
He came back to bed so he wouldn't have to holler back. "A survey company," he said.
"Oh yeah?" I said, intrigued. "What kind of questions were they asking?"
"Y'know, usual stuff. How many people lived here, where we worked."
"It was a pretty short conversation," I said. "Usually those surveys take ages." I imagined some kind of phone scam and remembered when Dave invited a vacuum cleaner salesman to the house (kind of like inviting a vampire).
"Is there a salesman coming?" I asked. Nervous.
"No!" said Dave.
"Well it's not some kind of scam, is it? Maybe they were scoping out the place to rob us."
Dave sighed and got this funny look on his face.
"I can't lie to you," he said. "That was a delivery guy. They're bringing a dishwasher tomorrow."
A dishwasher? Gobsmack me with a feather.
1. I hate doing dishes. I used to fight with my father about doing dishes. The minute I went away to college, my mother bought a dishwasher.
2. I am 50 years old and have never had a dishwasher EXCEPT for one glorious year a few years back. Dave and I were renovating our old house in Sundridge and part of the renos including a dishwasher. IT WAS THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE. Then we sold the house. End of dishwasher.
So how does a woman who hates dishes and who has worked full time all her working days, not have a dishwasher? I don't know.
Anyway, point is, my sweetie-pie decided to surprise me with one. I am going to leave Friday night, now, because he earned himself some big brownie points for that announcement.
Saturday afternoon found me writing up in the bunkie. I heard the delivery truck pull in the driveway, so I tweeted "MY DISHWASHER IS HERE" or something similar, then ran to the window to watch my present being unloaded.
Dave went out to meet the guy. The guy said, "do you want me to take the box off here?"
Dave said, "Sure. Might as well have a look at it."
Off came the cardboard box.
There was a big paint chip/ding on the front. Right in the middle, obvious as can be.
Guy said, "Guess you don't want to take this, eh?"
Dave said, "Guess not."
Guy drove my dishwasher away.
I had that dishwasher for, oh, 30 seconds.
I miss her already. I even had a name picked out for her. Melba.

Today's a big day in our family: Angus' grade eight graduation.
It doesn't seem possible. Only yesterday he was a tiny baby listening to the CBC as I fed him and changed his diaper in the middle of the night. Now he's 14 and almost as tall as me, listening to god knows what. Don't all parents hate their children's music? Isn't it a mandatory rite of passage for parents?
I couldn't be prouder of my blue-haired boy.
I took this photo last Monday morning. His school had an awards ceremony to make the actual graduation evening a little shorter. (Great idea.) I'll be sure to have photos of Angus with his new suit and the tie that matches his hair.


  1. if all it takes is a dishwasher to send you into delirium you need to get out more!

  2. Congrats to Gus on his graduation from grade eight. That's quite a milestone for mom. Hard to imagine our babies growing up so much. He hits the big time next year.

    You should have at least shoved a few dirty dishes into the washer before he drove it away. Sure, they'd be gone, but you wouldn't have to wash them...

  3. Err...when you called the post 'Big Surprise' I expected something like an announcement that your half-finished novel had been picked up by a national publisher or perhaps to tell us that a baby was on the way.

    But a dishwasher is nice too. Sorry that it had to go back so soon. I look forward to your next post...Dishwasher Redux.

  4. Congratulations! Aside from a washing machine, a dishwasher is one of the great innovations of modern life.

  5. Will Melba-2 be arriving soon?
    I actually love the blue hair, Gus!

  6. Not to fear....Melbas replacement will arrive shortly I am sure. Then we will hear rapsody in suds from you.
    Not sure why our youngsters want blue hair and holes punched in their bodies and pants falling off of them. They all look the same. I guess it's all about safety in numbers.
    In my day it was beatle bangs and hairspray stiff backcombing.

  7. You cannot underestimate the power of the dishwasher. I truly believe there are days when my dishwasher is the only thing standing between me and insanity. I thank the universe for it, and I now thank the universe for yours. Can I get a big wOOt wOOt!

    And yay Mom and congrats to the awesome blue-haired boy!

  8. I've survived 30+ years of marriage minus a dishwasher (the mechanical variety!) - now I don't have to go out to work and the kids have flown the nest it seems kinda pointless just for the two of us (and sometimes just the one if us!). I quite like doing the dishes and watching the garden - gives me thinking time. (just don't ask me about washing up at Christmas ...!)

  9. Yay for Gus! Boo for paint chips on new dishwashers!

    One thing I promised myself as a parent is that I would never say "your music sounds all the same." I had to bite my tongue a few times, but made it. Mostly. I did once say, "It sounds the same to me, but I don't listen to it enough to tell." It's all subjective. And a lot of teens listen to classic rock these days, so there's at least one point of connection.

  10. Melba is an excellent name for a dishwasher! I'm sure Melba-2 will come home soon to you. Well celebrate together when she comes! :D

    I'm with Laura, Gus's hair is cool!

  11. Awe, Cathy! I thought kids were dishwashers? You mean they're not? That's what my Mother told me when I was growing up. Put that shiny blue head to work. It looks just perfect to dry some dishes! LOL. :p

    Kidding! I hope the real Melba gets there soon and banishes the memory of the imposter Melba.

    Yea for Angus! I'm sure he looked fetching at graduation. :)

    They do grow so fast...

  12. You could have worked out a big discount for that ding on the washer, and saved yourself the fun of keeping the machine looking new for the rest of its life.
    Hope your new dishwasher shows up soon.

  13. Thought maybe Norman Rockwell had come back to life to illustrate one of your stories. When a spotless Melba arrives I expect a full report.

  14. I want you to know I am ignoring a sink full of dishes right now. Great surprise from Dave. They are bringing another one right?

    Congrats to Angus!

  15. I hated doing dishes as I grew up - ugh! When I graduated from university and got my first "real" job, I bought myself dishwasher - best present I ever bought!

  16. Of course, the dictatorship in Egypt is far different than what the vast
    majority of Americans face. A once great nation is sliding down the toilet
    and most everyone, especially politicians, are lying endlessly as it does, as
    if the nation’s decay should be ignored rather than honestly combated by its citizens.
    It ends when God kills thousands of His Chosen People with
    a plague (love those germs) and an earthquake (shake, rattle and roll) as punishment for rumblings in the ranks.
    Assemble your guests in teams, set out clues and people to
    actually talk to. When scrapping with newspaper clippings, in most situations it is important to take the proper steps to make them archival safe before putting them with your
    photos in your scrapbooks.

    My website - egyptian newspapers

  17. If one innocently applies an insufficient amount of sealer on a very porous concrete material, the said material may
    not be effective at all. Also, keep in mind that the ingredients for the mix
    should be bought from a home improvement store to insure quality.
    * Not Ideal For Floors: While this is a great option for
    the walls, it's a less-than-impressive option for the floors.

  18. It is also a good idea to avoid any accidents, slips or
    falls. Solution Options: It was decided to use a
    web services simulator to simulate the exact functions of a web services backend.
    The latest version, Rollercoaster Tycoon 3, is produced by Atari
    and can be purchased at most retail outlets. If you are using your own clubs, clean it with a
    wet cloth at least every 2-3 days. In general, it
    is something manufactured, to pretend to be (or simulate), something else
    more valuable.


How's it going, eh? It's SO good to hear from you. Tell me every darn thing...