Erm, my book's out!

"Was it any different for you last night?" I asked Dave as he was shaving this morning. "Y'know, sleeping with a published author?"

He thought about it for a moment then said, "You snored more."

Just so you know, I have now officially self-published my book. After at least three years of doinking around, I finally bit the bullet and got it done. For me, this is nothing short of a miracle.

The book itself is OK. It's not going to win a Pulitzer and it's certainly not going to outsell 50 Shades of Grey, but you know what? It's not as bad as I sometimes think it is. This afternoon I spent a happy hour curled up on my bed with my Kindle, reading My Very Own Book. I bought it last night and, wham, it downloaded in a heartbeat, right there on my Kindle beside Stephen King's new book, Doctor Sleep.

Me and Stevie, hanging out in Kindleland.

That's pretty darn sweet.

I'm not going to launch into any big whoop-de-doo about all this. Suffice it to say, if you'd like to read Green Eggs & Weezie, you can find it on Amazon or on Kobo. If you happen to like it, I would sincerely appreciate if you could write a short review on the Amazon site. Apparently the more reviews one garners, the more books one sells and the closer I get to retirement.

Oh wait. I am retired. I KEEP FORGETTING! That's the greatest thing about getting old – you forget all the good stuff and every day you wake up to go to work and then you remember – I DON'T HAVE TO!

I'm so glad I published my book before complete Old-Timer's sets in, or before I'm dead. Seriously, I was beginning to think Dave would have to publish it post-humously. I made him promise that he'd publish my damned book if I choked on a chicken neck or something equally hideous. I mean, poor Mama Cass, she sang some of the best songs on the planet but she'll always be remembered as that fat chick who choked on a chicken bone.

Since, however, I am still alive I am able to tell you that my book can be found by clicking on the following links:

Kobo

Amazon.ca (Canada)

Amazon.com (United States)

Amazon.co.uk (Great Britain)

Thanks to GP Ching for helping me get it online. Man, that job was a bit of a pig. Gen, I owe ya.

A Quiet Exuberance

In between bouts of self-loathing I've been working away on my novel. Quietly, you know. Chopping here, slashing there, duct tape slapped over my yap to dull the screaming.

This morning, though, something miraculous happened. After a few blissfully exciting days working with graphic artist Steven Novak (aka Mr. Awesome), I OK'ed the cover.

SQUEE!

As I'm writing this I'm gritting my teeth, in a good way, and rolling my eyeballs faster than a hydro meter wheel with the hot tub running. Such is my excitement!

I heard about designer/illustrator/author Steven from author GP Ching, whose book covers I admire endlessly. They're glamourous and richly done, beautiful in every way, and they attract readers to Gen's marvellous writing. I know how important cover art is – as a retired graphic designer, I spent years making words look good. As a reader, I find myself clicking 'Buy' on Amazon based on the cover. The old adage is you can't judge a book by a cover but, in this digital world we live in, that little thumbnail means the difference between selling your book or letting it languish. Granted, if the writing inside is terrible, nothing can help you. My hope now is that my own writing is equal to Steven's work.

I'm not sure when my book is coming out. Soon. Very soon. I'd like it to be done in time for my birthday in October, a present to myself and yet another excuse to eat cake.

In the meantime, help me celebrate Steven's work! The orange is the same shade as you'll find on the Dr. Seuss classic Green Eggs & Ham, and the lovely curvaceous woman with the wild red hair is exactly who I was thinking of when I sat down to write Weezie's story. It's funny, when I was working as a graphic artist, I would CURSE the clients who weren't sure what they wanted, who made me do revision after revision after revision, and yet there I was sending Steven through the same hell! My apologies, dear Steven, and my sincerest thanks for a job well done.

The cheque is in the mail ... really, it is ...

It's Bouncy, It's Sexy and It's FUN!

I'm really excited right now. About a book. Yeah, I know, you've heard people babbling about books all the time to the point where you're sick to death about hearing it. Right? But I just started reading a new book and it's got the BEST happiest, bounciest, sexiest heroine I've come across in some time.

Genevieve Jack

I had no plans to buy a book yesterday – I've already got an absolute stack of uncracked ones staring at me like mooching dogs at a Sunday picnic. But one of my Friday Flash buddies, GP Ching (aka Genevieve Jack), was advertising a free book on Facebook so I thought, what the hey. It's free, and it's GP, what's to lose?

About an hour ago I opened The Ghost in the Graveyard and seriously? The thing just grabbed me by the knackers and wouldn't let go. The story bounces from one page to the next and I was turning pages as fast as I could. I only stopped, just now, to come downstairs and pen a note to GP saying how freaking great her book is. Then I thought, what the heck, I'd give her a plug here as well.

Warning: it's a book for grown-ups so if smoulderingly sexy scenes aren't your cup of tea, give it a pass. Everyone else? Cozy on up to the most refreshing and kick-ass romance heroine I've come across in a long, long time.

Bonus: The second book in this series, Kick the Candle, has just been released. It's fabulous to know that when I'm kicking through Graveyard, I've got a Candle to light my way.

Ferris Bueller lovers unite!

Later today I have a real treat for everyone, an interview with a genuine hunk of burning lust (not Dave, he's love, not lust, well... sometimes he is.. umgh, sorry.. where was I?).

For now, here's another real treat. GP Ching had this link on Facebook and it made me laugh out loud, no kidding. YOU MUST WATCH. You must! You will smile, or your money back, guaranteed. (Gen, get well soon, OK?)

AND NOW, MY FRIEND, LAUGH!