I just realized who I look like – the Mama Burger at A&W. Look at that round face, those dimples. Me! And that hair? That is precisely my haircut, bangs, curls and all. When I went fishing at Kiosk a few weeks ago my nose got sunburned – right? You see the resemblance now?
At first I thought Mama Burger looked like my mother back in the '70s – then it hit me like a bolt of ketchup-covered lightning – it's not my mom, it's ME.
Oh god. I look like Mama Burger. Of all the celebrities in the world to resemble ... of all the classic beauties ... I don't look like any of them. I look like a hamburger.
