Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Pomp Pomps

I Do Countdown: Four Days. FOUR DAYS!

It was a dark and stormy night.
Dave was making pomp-pomps. I was hyperventilating and trying to take pictures of him.
Apparently fluffing pomp-pomps is not manly and he didn't want no pictures taken of his manly self with pomp-pomps. (Damnnit! I keep putting in extra pees.)
"Not a chance, chicky-poo," he said, threatening to throw one at me.
I took one anyway and then ran. Ran as fast as I could whilst hyperventilating in a pink nightgown and giggling madly.
He did toss one at me and, like Elvis Costello, his aim is true.

The wedding is four days away. I'm remarkably calm now. All is done. (Except the pomp-pomps. There are about a million of them. Who the heck ordered so many? Me? Whatever.)
Well, all is almost done.
This is what's left:
1. Work, or pretend to work while looking at bride websites. Luckily my bosses generally don't read my blog, although I have tried to get them to because I want them to see how talented and wonderful I am but I guess they're too busy.. washing their hair or something...
2. Hairdressers, 3 p.m., so Jeanette can touch up my roots. I have roots that run deep. They could make a mini-series on my roots.
3. Meet my mom and the boys at 5 p.m. at our house so we can take boys for tuxedo fittings. Angus and Sam have both grown like, about three inches each since the original fitting. I'm sure they will have to resend pants.
4. Go grocery shopping. I want to have yummy treats on hand Friday night; also, must continue to eat as much as possible because there is still hope I might not fit into my dress.
5. Pick up girdle underpants at Sears Order Store. (See #4)
6. Enlist boys to help fluff pomp-pomps.
7. Sleep fitfully.

1. Chiropractor's appointment at 8 a.m. to fix my wounded shoulder (I smashed it last spring and it's been bugging me ever since).
2. Work, or pretend to work while looking at Newfoundland websites.
3. Go shopping again because sure as heck I'll have forgotten something Wednesday night.
4. Dave has a chiropractor's appointment because he needs a crunching.
5. Write a #fridayflash  because I don't want to destroy my reputation as a #ff addict. (The doughnuts and coffee are so good at those meetings! Even though Linda at Leftbrainwrite always steals the Boston Creams, Alan takes all the Dazed (er, I mean Glazed), Carrie Clevenger takes the jam-filled ones because they remind her of blood and Michael Solender takes all the rest for his new food writer's page on fictionaut.) I have no idea what to write about. I. Mean. No. Idea. But that's two whole days away... why sweat the small stuff?
6. Sleep fitfullly.

1. Wake up early to see if anybody read my flash. (It's like Christmas morning, isn't it?)
2. Dave has a dentist appointment at 8:30 a.m. to get his pearly whites cleaned.
3. I have a massage booked for 1 p.m. with the lovely and very talented Carol McVittie who has been working on my shoulder for weeks and who gives the BEST massages. Ever.
4. Dave has a touch-up hair appointment at 1 p.m. with Jeanette, who will further rescue Dave from the skunk stripe I inflicted on him two weeks ago. Did I not mention that? Huh... I wonder why...
5. Our guests start arriving!
6. Decorate cars. Pack. Panic.
7. Wedding rehearsal 5 p.m.
8. Dinner at Swiss Chalet 6 p.m. (where else but Chalet Suisse?)
9. Finishing touches on reception decorations 8:15 p.m.
10. Relax at home with good friends, tasty treats and possibly a spirit or two.
11. Take Gravol or have Dave hit me over the head with a two-by-four.
12. Sleep fitfully.

1. Wake up early to see if anybody read my flash.
Dave says he's hiding the laptop. We'll see about that pomp-pomp boy - howdja like to see that picture of you with your pomps pinned up with the half-nekkid ladies at the shop?
Wonder what the other auto techs would say about that, hmmmm?


  1. Just laughed at the blue pom pom clown nose. :) And is that a cutie patootie cat I see?

    Girdle underpants? Don't you want to be comfy?

    Take something for the sleeping.

    Oh my god, FOUR days!

  2. That IS indeed a cutie patootie cat, Marisa! Good eye! That is the amazing Dodge, the fattest orange pussycat ever to be rescued from the main street of Sundridge on a cold rainy day in April a few years ago. Dave works at a Chrysler/Dodge dealership, the kitten was in the middle of teh street in front of said dealership, and when Dave stopped to rescue him he ran up in the wheel-well of Dave's DODGE pick up truck. And also because he dodged death that day we figured it was a good name.
    Back then he was a teeny tiny ball of fluff - now the vet is always trying to put him on a diet.
    Maybe I'll order him girdle underpants, too.
    (YES, I want to be comfortable, but dammnit, I got some muffin top things happening (more like the whole muffins) and if I don't squish it in physically, I'll have to suck in my gut ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT. This way I can relax and let the girdle do the sucking.
    And you're right Marisa: FOUR days!

  3. Relax...OH MY GOD, FOUR DAYS...em, sorry...relax.

  4. Oh gee thanks, Laura, like you're a lot of help.

  5. Well, Darling- I can sort of commiserate with you because my daughter is also getting married on Saturday. (Don't do the math please!) It is a wonderful, stressful, murderous, joyous time and I hope that you and your lovely, lucky man will soak in every minute of it!!!

    ps. You're writing a #fridayflash??????? Are you insane??? OMG, now I feel like the biggest slacker in the world since I've been using my daughter's wedding as a slacking off excuse for a month...ahem, two months now :-)

    pps. I adore you and can't wait to see pics of the special day!!!

  6. Get outta town, Shannon! I didn't know your daughter is getting married on Saturday, too! Details, girlfriend! What's her name? Where's the wedding? I'd crash it if I could but I'm busy that day.. kinda..
    I didn't think it was legal to get married at the age of 12... because that's how old she must be because you don't look any older than that yourself!
    Oh, I hope you have an awesome time! Take lots of tissue and pictures! And I hope you share some on facebook!
    PS. I adore you, too. Thanks!

  7. EEEE! How exciting! Four days! I hope you just have a blast, girl.

    We want to see lots of pictures when you recover. :)

  8. There WILL be pictures, Gracie, oh yes, there will ... muahahahahahaha!!!!
    But only the ones where I look like a skinny-bitch... oh.. maybe there won't be many photos.... hahahahahahaha!
    (And I'm not even drinking)

  9. Cathy, you neeeeeeeeeed to get as much water into you as possible over the next FOUR DAYS to ensure you're nice and hydrated for the BIG DAY - we can't have you fainting in that bloody girdle of yours, now, can we?

    Did someone say FOUR DAYS? OMG!!


  10. Water - Lily, I'm on it.
    ("Water-Lily" hmmmm)
    Only now it's not FOUR DAYS - IT'S THREE DAYS!

  11. Proof he looooooveess you. He made Pom poms for you and I am guessing is letting you put them on the Jibberty... True love I tell ya.

  12. Oh no, Lynda, HE"S putting them on the Jibberty... that thar is men's work fer sure!

  13. dave's a dream! You are hilarious (laughing with, not at)! Have fun, I concur with the hydrating, girdle away! Have fun my dear dear cousin, sounds like that's a guarantee!Lots of love and good karma to you! Love kel

  14. Oh Kel, thanks for dropping by ... I wish you lived closer or your arse would be here, for sure. Dave IS a dream -- one I hope to never wake up from!
    Lots of love and hugs to you, too!

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