Vote for Laura!

My dear friend Laura Eno, author of more books than I have fingers and toes to count, has just found out one of her books, Immortal Desires, has been nominated for Best Romance – Paranormal Romance 2012, by The Romance Reviews.

Voting continues until March 31st. If you would like to cast a vote Laura's way, I know she would appreciate it. She has even promised to have her evil assistant Jezebel name a flavour of punch in your honour!

Now, I have to warn you, voting for Mizz Eno isn't as easy as clicking on a link and, shazam! You either have to sign up to be a member of The Romance Reviews or you can use your Facebook account. I signed up as a member. It wasn't hard – just come up with a username and password and play the "are you a human" game at the bottom. Sure, it takes a couple of minutes but helping Laura Eno is worth it. She is one of the kindest, hardest working, most talented writers I've "met" in my internet travels. She is always supportive of me, always, and I love her to pieces. I would vote for her a thousand times if I could.

Click here to vote for Laura's Immortal Desires. But remember to sign in or open an account first!

Congratulations, Miss Laura Eno, talented writer extraordinaire! You'll always be an immortal desire in my book!

Tea with Mistress Snark

Today I'm having tea with a voluptuous half-nekkid weird woman named Mistress Snark. Y'all are invited to drop by, have a sip of Earl Grey and a suspiciously fuzzy cuke sammich. 

My advice? Stay away from the bloody punch.

Me and Laura go camping with Sue and antics ensue

Laura Eno will not go camping with me.

I never figured her for some girly-girl but apparently her concept of being one with nature consists of listening to the spindly philodendron on her desk crying for a mercy killing, and scooping piles of dog crap the size of Buicks from her Astroturfed backyard. (I've seen pictures of her dogs – I can't even imagine the turds those sons and daughters of Jezebel must produce.)

Which makes me want to drag her sunless carcass into the great outdoors even more. I bet she hasn't seen the sun since 1973. I bet Xan Marcelles sees more sunlight than Laura does. And he's a goldurned bloodsucking vampire.

Me, I love camping. Am going camping this weekend, as a matter of fact (and so will be internet-free... again....) (Thanks to Babs and Henry LaRue for housesitting  - please don't let your rottweiler eat the couch this time, OK? Beast is the size of a Volkswagen. Why can't people have freaking normal sized dogs?)

I invited Laura to come along but she as refused because she's a big wussy-pants.

She'll be wishing she was fishing (yes I'm a poet) with me, however, because now she's in deep trouble over at I Refuse To Go Quietly. Fellow Friday Flash alumni Sue Harding noticed Laura's camp-phobia and wrote a very, very scary (more poetry) story about me and Mizz Eno going camping together.

Of course I think it's the bees knees (poetry) being the subject of a Sue Harding story. Even though the ending

FREAKS.

ME.

OUT.

You'll have to go see for yourself what that ending is cause I'm not gonna tell you.

Let me just say, my fingernail polish really is pink. Really.

Now. Off to catch some lunkers. Coming, Laura? (Wussy-pants.)

Five writerly tips from lovely Laura Eno

If Laura Eno lived next door to me, we'd have coffee all the time and talk about writing and be BFFs. Of course that would never happen unless Laura completely lost her mind and forgot about her abhorrence for the great outdoors and snowbanks.

So it's me in Ontario and Laura in Florida and never the twain shall meet. But I will always think fondly of this prolific and talented writer. Ever since I caught wind of her through Friday Flash I have admired her generous support of other writers, not to mention her own ability to write about anything: literary slice of life, horror, humour, romance – doesn't matter. She handles it all with imaginative and tenacious aplomb.

My respect for her is enormous.

I haven't had much reading time lately but I did manage to spend some happy hours with my nose buried in my Kindle during summer vacation. You couldn't ask for better summer reading material than Laura's The Carriena Oracles, Raven and Wraith. On one sunshiney July afternoon I whipped through Raven while I floated around in our cheapo Canadian Tire swimming pool guzzling Diet Cokes and accumulating melanoma. It was glorious.

Then, during an impromptu fishing trip to Brent, a remote part of Algonquin Park, I dove into and polished off the recently released Wraith in a couple of happy hours. It amuses me to think I read many of Laura's books on camping trips, knowing she can't stand the very idea of camping. It's like I'm dragging her along and she's having a great time, in spite of herself.

Both books were a ton of fun. Love romance? Love sci/fi? Love strong female leads, adventure, brave new worlds and human-like robots? They're all here in a happy mish-mash of genres that put character and story above all else. You can find them, along with a long list of Laura's other novels, on Amazon and Smashwords. At 99 cents each, they're a true bargain.

In the meantime, I forced Laura to answer a bunch of inane questions. The first question, though, was completely serious – I wanted five tips for writers. Laura is an experienced, savvy writer and self-publisher and if you want advice on anything writerly, she's the lady to ask. Without further adieu, Mizz Eno:

Hi, Cathy! Thank you so much for inviting me to put a handprint on your blog. I hope you don't mind if it's a bit sticky… 

That was with honey, for all you blokes with your minds in the gutter.

You asked me for five tips of interest to writers. *snort* There are so many tips out there the internet needs a plumber to unclog it but here goes.

Tip #1. Chew each tip slowly. If it tastes good, swallow it. If it doesn't, spit it out. Seriously. You can only write with what resonates for you. Leave the rest behind.

Tip #2. Don't be afraid. Fear will leave your manuscript half-finished, kicked under the bed.

Tip #3. Learn how to take constructive criticism. That does not mean change your story to suit someone else's idea of how it should go. There's a difference between tightening your story and writing someone else's version. Let them write their own.

Tip #4. Edit. Edit. Edit. But then let it go. See Tip #2.

Tip #5. Remember that not everyone will like what you've written. We all want to stand up on stage like Sally Fields (minus the hairy armpits) and yell, "You really like me!" but it's impossible. If you love your story and it's well edited, it's all good.

You asked why I write romance in particular, when I write in so many different genres. Actually, for me, it's all the same. The angle I write from is the human condition. In my head, it all ties together – love, hate, happiness, pain – they are the commonalities that bond us as a people.

I hope that made sense. If not, throw a bucket over your head and repeat the words until you agree with me.

You asked what I do all day. Mostly, I let the voices in my head erode the gray matter and bleed words onto paper. That, and play door monitor for two dogs. Up until three years ago I was a Tai Chi instructor, but a series of mental and physical mishaps have me staying at home now, muttering to myself.

And yes to your last question. There will be a third installment of the Carriena Oracles to add to Raven and Wraith. I didn't get to it immediately because I have a few Djinn as houseguests in my head. As soon as they move on, I will write it.

Thank you for having me here, Cathy, and I hope I didn't scare too many of your readers away!

P.S. Jezebel sends you a big, sloppy kiss.

(Right back atcha, Jez.)

Laura Eno - Letter from a Friend

An enigma? I think she is. 

For as much as Laura Eno is open and active on Facebook, Twitter and her own blog, A Shift in Dimensions, there's still a bit of mystery swirling around her like the salt-laden ocean mists that must sometimes hide her Florida home.

In fact, when the idea for Letter from a Friend first came to me, it was Laura I was thinking of. There's something about her that brings out the reporter in me. I would dearly love to throw a Barbara Walters on her. Just sit down for a few hours and pour on the hard questions and see what what makes this driven author tick.

Driven. It's as good a word as any for someone who has been rolling out book after book after book. She has published three or four while I have been struggling to finish one. Her works include Raven, Book 1 of the Carriena Oracles, a Sci/Fi Romance novella; My Enchanted Life, a YA fantasy; Stone of Destiny, an erotic romance; Deadly Intent, a horror/thriller; Tempest Child, a YA romantic fantasy; Don't Fall Asleep, A Dream Assassin Novel; Prophecy Moon; Seducer of Her Dreams; Realms of the Red Rabbit, Book One; and Realms of the Red Rabbit-Jake, Book Two. (You can read more about her many wonderful books here.) 

I often ask what her secret is but I know the answer: hard work. Dedication. The ability to strap your butt to the chair and get the work done. I can't even begin to tell you how hard that is and I am a big fan of Laura's, not just for the amazing work itself but for her uncanny ability to do it at all. 


Laura is probably one of the biggest cheerleaders in my internet circle. She always has a kind word for even the most angst-ridden writer and I've come to think of her as a den mother for Friday Flash and a friend to all who cross her talented path. Her letter to me is funny and sweet and touching, especially the part about her grandchildren, but it still doesn't dig deep enough for my liking. She didn't even want her photo taken but I talked her into it because, she's right, I'm a pushy broad. (That's her dog's tail she's using as a boa!)


Despite my best efforts, Laura Eno continues to be an enigma – one of the nicest enigmas I've never met.

Hi Cathy,

I hope you're doing well and are busy working on your novel. With your talent, I'm sure it will be a big hit and I can't wait to read it!

Jezebel asked me to say hi and to tell you how much she enjoyed coordinating your wedding reception. (Humor her, okay?) She'd like to visit you again. Perhaps if you could clear up that little misunderstanding with the Canadian police, they'd let her cross the border again?

I know you've been bugging me for a recent picture of myself. Well, the truth is I took one but the cat…er, dog ate it…anyway, I need a few more months to correct my temporary insanity. I don't look good with red hair but the ruby color on the box looked so pretty…

This past Christmas was a forlorn time for me, as last spring my daughter and her family moved from Florida to Arizona. Not having the four grandkids around takes the fun out of the holidays.

I also have a new granddaughter from my son! I haven't seen her in person yet, since they live in Outer Mongolia—or somewhere closer to you—kinda the same thing, you know?

On a brighter note, I'm trying to train my two dogs to alert me when I've overfilled the pool—again! You know, like Lassie. Bark, bark "Timmy's stuck in the well?" So far, I haven't had any success with it but my lawn is green from the overflow.

Say hi to Dave and the boys for me and remember about Jezebel's request. She has a tentacle wrapped around my throat right now, making me remind you again.

Stay in touch!

Laura

No Jann Arden for me

Yesterday I was, like, JANN ARDEN IS COMING TO HUNTSVILLE! And then three minutes later I was, like, HER CONCERT'S SOLD OUT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I JUST FOUND OUT!

Sorry about the all-caps. But that was my face, one big round all-cap. I love Jann Arden, are you kidding me? I've been trying to see her in concert since forever and every damned time I get wind she's going to be performing anywhere near my neck of the woods, she sells out in 30 seconds. OK, so I exaggerate. Maybe it's more like 45 seconds. She was in North Bay a couple of years ago but I missed her because I wasn't quick enough. Toronto – not quick enough. Both cities are a ways away from me but I was willing to make the drive because, as I have said, I loves me some Jann Arden.

Then, yesterday, I found out she would be performing in Huntsville, which is 20 minutes up the road! Twenty minutes! Jann Arden! I was woot-wooting all over the office ... until my workmate, Lynda, discovered the concert was already sold out.

Excuse me. I must pause. I'm tearing up again.

When I finished pouting and wailing I got busy and started my Stalk Jann Arden Campaign. I sent her about a 406 messages on Twitter trying to weasel a ticket out of her stellar self. I think I even promised her an interview here on my blog (that hardly anybody reads because it's been so boring lately, and hey, I can't blame you) thinking that Muskoka River blog coverage would give Jann the publicity, fame and fortune she has so far been sadly lacking. Yes, I think that's what every celebrity needs, a post here at the River.

Mizz Arden, sadly, did not get back to me. Probably she was too overwhelmed by my offer, I'm thinking. But. And here's a pretty cool but (not that kind of butt) – SHE STARTED FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER!

Now I'm all weirded out. The pressure to tweet only good stuff is intense, so I'm not tweeting anything at all. Not that I tweet a lot to begin with but, still. Jann's listening. So do I pretend to be all cool, like I don't notice that she's following, just like when you're in high school and a cute boy walks by and you're like la-dee-dah-dee-dah at your locker, pretending your heart isn't in your tonsils? Or do I get all smarmy and send her smeemy messages like, "Thanks for the follow, Jann." Or, the classic, "how's it going, eh?" because she's Canadian and probably likes having other Canadians say eh to her a lot.

On a completely different note, also requiring all-caps, I WAS DOWN ANOTHER FOUR AND A HALF POUNDS LAST NIGHT AT WEIGHT WATCHERS!!!!!!!! Woot! Woot! Root beer toot! That's 19 pounds in six weeks, NOT THAT I'M COUNTING or anything!

Who's dancing all over the kitchen right now?

P.S. So I just saw Laura Eno's comment... Laura, get outta town, you don't know who Jann Arden is???? Won't do, sistah, won't do at all. Here's one of her biggest hits – take a couple minutes to listen and tell me you still don't know who she is!!! Also, thanks for accepting all my poundage! I sincerely appreciate that! (And hugs to Laurita and Delores - love you guys!)