Monday, March 8, 2010

What's In A Name?

Say you're adopting an old dog from the pound.
The dog's name is Pollywog.
She's black. She's fat in the front end and skinny in the butt end and she only has a couple of legs.
You want to call her Trixie but she's been called Pollywog for half of her dog life which, in dog years, is still half her life.
If your brain is as intact as the dog's life, meaning you have half a one, then you will start calling your wife Trixie and just leave the darned mutt alone.
You can't, after all, teach an old Wog new Trix.

So today I caught myself doing something I haven't done since high school: I practiced writing Mrs. Cathy Webster.
I can't believe I just admitted that!
What am I, 12? HA!
Seriously, though, I am going to need some practice. Like ol leg-challenged Wog, I am an old dog. I don't have too many new trix in me. It's going to be challenging to learn a new name; nay, another new name.
Name number three. Robb. Olliffe. And, in September, Webster. 
I see a trend towards the tail end of the alphabet here. I wonder what that means.
It's a good thing I'm not terribly attached to my names. Seems I'm trading them like hockey cards.
I've thought a bit about the whole name-thing. It is quite fashionable, these days, to keep the name you were born with, or to hyphenate it, or to pick something new altogether. 
I don't want to go back to Robb, although I'm proud of the name and my family ... it's been so long, that's all, that it seems almost to belong to someone else.
And I certainly don't want to stick with Olliffe, my ex's name, although I have grown fond of signing Cathy O. It has a Jackie O flavour to it that I quite enjoy. 
I thought having a different name than the boys might be an issue but they know who they are and they know who I am and I don't think they'll confuse their mother just because she has a new name.
If they do, I'll wear a name tag.
And perhaps hire them a tutor.

Perhaps if I have any questions about my new name I can ask Dave's ex, who, coincidentally, is also Mrs. Cathy Webster.
That's all I need to say about that.


  1. I hit enter by accident. (HEH HEH!)
    This is like a record or something... a comment before I'm even finished!!!!!!

  2. So like ... you could always pick out a completely new name like ... hmmmm Cathy Riley .. since thats whose life you seem to have these days .... or ... how about Cathy Bouvier Beale ... or Cathy Von Trapp. I'm sure Dave would be cool with that. How come you want to drop your Ex's name but my EX is hanging on to mine... hmmm?!

  3. I always wanted to be one of the Von Trapp Family Singers... if I could sing, I'd consider it!
    Your ex already has the name of a champion.. why mess with that? Is your ex getting married?????

  4. Webster sounds like a fine last name. Better than Flotron(is that really a person's name?). You could call yourself Cathy Dubya.

  5. Youngest Kid says she is, she of course denies it. So its a question of which one of us she is being truthful to. How about Cathy Muskoka?

  6. Ha! I have this problem too! I have the dreaded three to choose from. I dropped my maiden Bruce (but recently think I might just snag it up again once my kids leave home), and now I am hyphenated Hodges-MacFarlane. But, funnily enough, I never notified the proper authorities about the hyphenation and legally am still just Hodges. Or something. I dunno. How about just drop them all and be Cathy? That'd be fun. Quicker to sign in the store line too.

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