Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Miss Manners Goes Camping

1. Don't cut through my campsite. 
I mean it.
Canada Day weekend, Algonquin Park, and we're packed like sardines - salty fish, who, for the most part, know their boundaries and stay in their own school site. There was a bunch of fish kitty-corner to us, a big school of fish, too many fish for one site, if truth be told, who were treating our site like a path to the washrooms. They didn't even stick to the outside of the site – they walked right beside our picnic table, almost under the awning of our trailer. WHILE WE WERE SITTING THERE.
We just stared at them because we're polite and we had come to the park to relax, not confront rude people.
They didn't even make eye contact, or apologize, or even say hello. They just trundled through our campsite like they owned it.
After that, Dave arranged our four bicycles across the driveway. They didn't blink an eye, just pushed the bikes aside a bit and squeezed through.
Finally we were forced to say something. On yet another trip by our picnic table, Dave said, politely, "Guys, this our camp site. Can you not walk through it, please?' The couple looked startled, mumbled, "sorry," and walked away. Thankfully, that was the end of that. Except that when we were walking by their campsite, on the road, we heard them snickering.
Just to clarify, there was a proper, signed path leading to the washrooms, not 10 feet from our campsite. After Dave confronted them, they had the good grace to use the path.
Ranty part: I wouldn't DREAM of walking through someone else's campsite. An empty one, sure, but never one with people's stuff on it and never, ever with someone sitting at their picnic table. And if, for some unknown reason, I had to go on someone else's site? I'd ask permission and thank them profusely, not ignore them like they weren't even there.

2. Slow down, arseholes.
There are kids running all over the place at a park. Running, biking, playing ball, being kids. I'm thinking that running over one of those kids is not a good idea. Perhaps taking your foot off the gas pedal would be.
And do you really want to raise a cloud of dust? You do? Then you're a bigger arsehole than I thought.
Ranty bit: I'd slap you upside the head if I could catch you. No one cares that your ride is pimped. No one but you likes rap music played at ear-piercing decibels. It's nice of you to share, but honestly, it's not necessary. You're in a provincial park. You're camping. You're not going to see many bears, moose and deer with the music cranked, unless you run them over first. Which you probably will, going so fast.

3. Don't bring your dog to the beach.
In fact, look over there. See that sign? It says NO DOGS ALLOWED.
Ranty bit: I left my dog in the trailer. Why is your dog on the beach? Is your dog special? Does your dog have a beach pass? Is your dog not really a dog? I swear, if I step in your dog's crap with my bare beach toes, I will stoop and scoop it right onto your doorstep.

4. Don't fart around the campfire and make your friend retch.
Um, I did this. Don't recommend it. Camping's all fun and games until someone loses their lunch. Sorry Tammy!

There was more, something about sparklers on the beach and Ranger Bob but I think I've blocked it out.


  1. Great! These do's and don'ts should be printed up and passed around at all public places.

  2. I couldn't agree more with #1. I'm going on a camping trip later this month; picked the campsite on the map based in large part on whether or not it's in a direct line with trail head access, water fountains or other facilities. I hate it when people take a shortcut right through my campsite.

  3. Ah yes, the days of camping. Communal water pipes and toilets half a mile down the road and a kid with the runs....lots of fun,

  4. Har! I enjoyed #4. And your Ranty bits.

  5. Hahaha... love it! Stupid people and cutting through sites! Get some common sense people! It's like everyone has this thought process that it's ok and they're allowed to be the exception cause they are the only ones doing it. Only If everyone thinks that then everyone is the exception and therefore no one is anymore.

    What really pisses me off is the people that get pissed off at people for doing the same things they were just doing.

    People just need to step outside of themselves for a second, use their brains, common sense and have some friggin' courtesy for other people. It's not hard.

  6. It amazes me how inconsiderate some people are. We have a cabin in the old campground at Clear Lake and there is occasionally people that are like that there...they are just so clueless!

  7. I've never liked sardine camping. Used to be you could go find a place that was all your own to make camp. The idea was to get away from all your noisy neighbors not move to the trailer park with them.


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