"I have broken my hair," said Ravina.
You can't break hair.
"Well, I did. It busticated. Right at ear level."
"Look at how puffy my hair is here," she said, pointing to the pouffy sections at the side of her head, "and look how thin my hair is here." She held up the limp and somewhat dispirited lank of brittled blondness.
That is odd, I have to say. You look rather like a yellow version of Bozo the Clown. What happened?
"My ponytail ate it."
"It was too tight. Broke the hair right off at the elastic band. Then it disappeared. The hair, not the band. Wasn't in the band. Wasn't in the bed. Wasn't in the shower or my hair brush. Just gone. Like the wind. Only Scarlett O'Hara didn't have a bald spot, did she."
I couldn't argue that point, although Scarlett did have an inordinate number of hair bows. Maybe she was hiding something.
"Doubt it. She wasn't hiding her cleavage. And her lack of acting talent was certainly on display."
Cleavage? Did someone say something about cleavage?
"Anyway. I look like a freak. I can't believe I broke my hair."
Krazy Glue? It works on broken china.
"I have actually Krazy Glued broken fingernails together," Ravina said thoughtfully. "I might actually consider trying that... you know, if the ponytail hadn't eaten the hair." D'oh, she added, under her breath.
Yes, well, I have my moments. I also have teeny-tiny razor sharp teeth. And bad gas. Heh-heh. Sorry.
"What was that?" Ravina asked, disgusted.