Monday, December 12, 2011

Bag of Bones

'Grampa, get outta my bed, you old perv!"

Meh. That's pretty much how I feel about the A&E mini-series Bag of Bones. It was OK but nothing compared to Stephen King's novel, which I consider to be far and away the best thing he ever wrote.

Maybe if I hadn't read the book, didn't have such high expectations, I might have enjoyed it more. It was like The Shipping News by Annie Proulx. The book was fabulous, one of my all-time favourites. The movie? Less than meh. (Kevin Spacey as Quoyle? Pffffft.) I guess when books are so over-the-top great, the movies simply can't compete.

I'm a fan of Pierce Brosnan but honestly, he was too old to play Mike Noonan. All I could think of was, how can Jo, his good looking wife, and that tart Matty Devore both be attracted to that old guy? I sure as heck wouldn't kick Brosnan out of bed for eating crackers but I'm an old fart myself and can be forgiven for being attracted to other old farts.

I always imagined Stephen King as Mike Noonan and Brosnan did have a Stephenish-Kingish quality in the mini-series. Still, there are plenty of 30 to 40-something actors who could have filled the bill far more nicely than the hunky but aging ex-Bond.

The other thing is, the film just skirted the dark corners of the novel, the very corners that made Bag of Bones one of King's most critically acclaimed works. To me it was brilliance from start to finish with dark literary nuances.

By the way, forgive the typos in this post. I went to see an opthamologist this afternoon – I'm going to be having cataract surgery in the new year. He dilated my eyeballs to the size of dinner plates and I can't see a goldurned thing. Perhaps I might have enjoyed Bag of Bones more had I been able to see. Then again, I'm sure the rather elderly Mike Noonan only benefited from my soft-focus eyeballs.

Oh gawd, Pierce, if you happen to read this, forgive my ageist comments. And if you want to pop by with a box of crackers, I'd be more than happy to spend some alone time with ya. I'm sure Dave wouldn't mind. All you have to do is point me in the direction of the bedroom. The things we can do with my white cane and a box of crackers ....


  1. Haven't seen it yet, but I'm looking forward to it. Like you, this is my favorite Stephen King book. Maybe it'll go better for me now that I know to not expect it to be as good as the book (not that I really expected that anyway). And I agree with you on Brosnan. Mike Noonan was supposed to be 40 in the book, and I'm not exactly sure how old ol' Pierce is, but I'm guessing he's pushing 60. Plenty of actors they could have cast that are closer to Noonan's age. Ah well, when is the movie (or mini-series, in this case) ever as good as the book, right?

  2. I loved the book. Haven't watched it yet, I PVR'ed it for today

  3. Bag of Bones was one of the best Stephen King books I've ever read. It's definitely on the short list of all time favorites.

    Luckily for me, I read it a long time ago and seem to have forgotten some details. Like Noonan's age.

    I did end up dreaming about ghosts after the first part of the movie so I'll take that as it being a good one. Of course there is no way it would have a shot at being as good as the book.

  4. I have seen the clips and last night I happened across it close to the beginning I would imagine. He didn't look nearly as good as he did in the clips. Odd how that happens. Anyhoo...I don't watch that kind of stuff, it gives me hootmares. I read Pet Cemetery years ago and it took me ages to get over it. I wonder what the inside of Stephen King's mind looks like.

  5. "And if you want to pop by with a box of crackers, I'd be more than happy to spend some alone time with ya."

    Best laugh I had so far today.

    I guess I'll give Bog of Bones a miss then, since it was also one of my favourite King novels. I also totally agree with you on The Shipping News. Those NL accents? Pffft. Although Judy Dench was pretty good...

  6. Hours later I realize I said Bog of Bones. Hahahahaha. That sounds like a Newfoundland movie for sure. :D

  7. I feel your pain....kept telling myself that old Brosnan grabbed a role of a lifetime. Imagine being an old bowlegged banty like himself pawing and slurping on all those young women!! He must have produced Bag of Bones. Actually, he is a bag of bones.

  8. "panting and slurping?" I usually don't respond to Anonymous comments but,BUAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    And Laurita ... I didn't even notice Bog of Bones. (Laughing out loud as I'm reading it!)

    Let me know what you guys think, Eric and Baygirl. And Halli, a dream is definitely an indication that the movie was good!

    Hey Delores, I don't blame you. Pet Sematery scared the crappers out of me!

    (Bog of Bones... still laughing....)


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