Thursday, December 15, 2011

Love You and other baloney

"Love you," said my ex-husband.

To me.

Last night on the phone.

OK, so it's just a lingering habit after 19 years of marriage. Or maybe he still does love me because, frankly, who doesn't love me (HAR), and he finally realizes that I was the best frickin' thing that ever happened to him and now he's sorry. Probably though, he only said it because he says it all the time to the kids, his mother, his stepfather, the cashier at Scrawl-Mart and whatever young figure-skating, money-counting ditch pig tart he's seeing; whoever. Whomever. Whatever. He hasn't said it to me, though. Not lately. Not since his cheating shit hit the family fan about a hundred years ago.

He said it and then he realized what he said and then the bluff blustery apologies spewing out of his gob made me feel like puking. And then laughing. Hysterical laughing.

"Yeah, yeah," I said. Brusquely. (I love the word brusque – it's so curt, even when it's an adverb.)

And I hung the hell up.

(That's our wedding photo. August 16, 1986. It was the anniversary of Elvis Presley's death. We got married at sunset, on the edge of the pond on my parents' farm. Our reception was held in the barn they had just built. There was a corn roast and porta-potties and food from the ladies of the Eastern Star. We forgot to cut the cake. Marvellous Marvin was the DJ and he was anything but marvellous. I was young and cuter than I thought and stupid as hell. My father looked handsome in his tuxedo, though pensive. He looks like he knew what I was in for, and was worried.)


  1. Yipe! Why he was calling you in the first place, I think I'll just ignore that part. ;-)

  2. Ouch. Lots of danger in messing with an eloquent blogger.

  3. You can tell just by looking at him that your dad was a soulful guy. I miss him.

    Hey...who cropped me out of the picture! I'm the member of the wedding party who went the distance ... Liz excepted.

  4. and aren't u cute in your onion skin dress.

  5. and there comes a point where "sorry" would mean so much more than "I love you" ... just say'n

  6. oh! ... and time for another "how amazing is Dave post", because he is.

  7. Way cute, indeed. And yes, 'brusque' is such a good word.

    Today's lesson children? Don't piss off a blogger, especially when she's really good with a keyboard.

  8. Hey Larry! We talk all the time because we share two great kids. And we're (usually) pretty civil with each other. Sometimes, though, my civility isn't as obvious as maybe it should be...

  9. Tony: "Muahahahahahaha!" (I love the evil laugh thing.) And eloquent? Don't you get a gold star.

  10. Such nice comments, Mark. He was soulful, a quality of his that was often overlooked. Thanks for saying it. I teared up a little when I read that. And nobody cropped you out – I don't have all my old wedding photos. I think they're up in the garage moldering in a cardboard box. Mary put them up there along with all my books and other important stuff. (Sigh.) So I didn't have many photos to choose from tonight. (Naturally I picked the one that I looked best in...)

    He's said he's sorry about a zillion times.

  11. Kevin, I think they should put that bit of wisdom in pre-nups. Just now I warned my husband, my new, handsome wonderful husband, that I am, in fact, a blogger and he would do well to keep that in mind should his eye go a-wandering. He tickled me and it was game over, threat-wise.

  12. Mark: Dave is amazing, there is absolutely no doubt.

  13. Love this post. That happened to me a couple of times. GAG. lol

  14. You know, since the two of you spend time talking about the kids, perhaps he meant "love" in the sense that he thinks you're a great mom to his sons and the word popped out.

    Too bad he didn't understand while married that you are the best thing that could happen to any man.

    Okay, I'll shut up now.

    Love the picture.

  15. I guess we all have to put up with some rain in our lives so that we can finally enjoy that bright, beautiful Dave.

    I mean day! Day! Not that Dave isn't bright. Or beautiful. You know. It's just, well, you know.

    Um...I love you?

    Either way, it sounds like you deserve the good stuff. ;) Enjoy your Dave.

  16. Well, looking at it logically, you have the memory of a beautiful wedding day, great kids, a fabulous husband, tremendous writing talent, friends, work, home,.....and you threw the rotten apple out of the bowl. Life is good.

  17. Fantastic photo (of you)!

    Har! Laurita's comment made me laugh and is right on the money.

    I'm sure that Dave is A-1 and the other guy is in the past. Him. Buddy. Wassisname.

  18. Tee hee. What's not to love? Especially now you're so dang happy! Must say it's the most serious wedding photo I've ever seen! What was the minister saying to you?

  19. My Ex: I've made a mistake.

    Me: No, you haven't, I've never been happier.

    One of my best moments to realize I meant what I said.

  20. You guys leave the BEST comments. You warm my heart and you make me laugh. You have no idea how great it is to see you all here.
    Carrie: so glad you dropped by! (Giggled at GAG.)
    And Marisa! Marisa, I miss you! HUGS!
    Laurita: love you, too. Absolutely!
    Delores, faithful sweet Delores, that is the BEST comment ever. I mean, you're right! You have summed up my life in such a positive happy way. And you're RIGHT! Rotten apples begone!
    Alan: "Him. Buddy. Wassissname" Said in classic Newfoundland twang, I bet. You make me smile all the time, you really do.
    Lily: I don't know! It's been more than 25 years since that photo was taken. But I'm pretty sure he was dealing out the religious part of the ceremony, you know, the part you're supposed to pretend to be listening to? I'm pretty sure that was it... I bet the weather is FINE in your neck of the woods these days. *jealous*
    Kelly! Thanks so much for the follow. Your blog is wonderful. And I feel exactly the same way you do, only you said it funnier! Welcome to the River!

  21. You know those words are so easy to say, but the truth lies not in what we say, our actions always speak louder than words and more truth.

    I'd have hung up too! ^__^

    PS I think you looked gorgeous in that photo and still do today! ^__^

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  23. My ex-boyfriend dumped me 0ne week ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 24hours that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Ishvara Temple. You are truly talented and gifted. Email: is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man.


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