Chat heads just wanna scream

We don't talk to each other at work anymore; we chat. Online. OK, so we do talk if we're all working in the same office but some of the people I work most closely with are not only in different offices, they're in different towns. That's fine, though, because we're all connected with this Jabber program (rather like Messenger) that lets us send documents back and forth and chat away to each other just as quick as our flying fingers can type. Come to think of it, we even chat to people sitting at the next desk, especially if we're talking about one another. The room may be devoid of actual conversation but you can tell by the sound of ticking keyboards that there's some hot gossip going down.

Each of us has a chat icon – an avatar; a little picture that represents us during conversation. You'd think we would all have an actual photo of ourselves, right? Something respectable and businesslike?

Pffft!

Our chat heads change all the time. Because today's St. Patrick's Day (happy green day everyone!), most the icons were shamrocks or leprechauns. For a while there I had a sheep with an Irish hat on it because I often have one of those Serta sheeps so it seemed appropo. OH! We also have room for a customized slogan beside our pictures. I think the space was intended to say something like "BRACEBRIDGE TODAY" or "NORTH BAY" or wherever because some of us move around from office to office depending on what day of the week it is. Like gypsies, we are.


Naturally we use the quote spaces for all kinds of witty repartee. When I'm a Serta sheep my message is a take-off on the Michael Jackson song: BLEAT IT, JUST BLEAT IT.

Another of my favourite chat heads is a picture of Lucille Ball and the slogan says "YOU GOT SOME ESPLANING TO DO."

I've had a zillion chat heads and slogans. You can pretty much tell what kind of mood I'm in by what's going on in Jabber.

When I'm sick I like to have a picture of Natalie Wood as my chat head and the slogan is a take-off from West Side Story: "I FEEL PHLEGMY."


I have a favourite, though. MY NEW FAVOURITE. It's some kind of meme - don't ask me what a meme is. I have no clue. One of the young guys at work – my pal Jason – tried to explain it to me but he's 12 and I'm a dork and there's just no point. Regardless of what the heck a meme is I fell in love with this goofy stick drawing of somebody with a really big mouth and promptly made it my chat head.

Another work friend, Mizz Sarah, sent me this pix because we were working on a crushing deadline and it pretty much summed up the shrieking fecking panic going on in our heads. The funny thing is, seeing this chat head all the time MAKES ME WANT TO ALL-CAP ALL MY MESSAGES. YEAH, I KNOW IT'S LIKE SCREAMING BUT LOOK AT THAT CHAT HEAD - DON'T YOU THINK THAT THING JUST WANTS TO SCREAM?

So that's what I do at work all day.

And they pay me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

SO WHAT WOULD YOUR CHAT HEAD BE? ALSO, I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS AS TO WHAT CHAT HEAD WOULD SUIT ME BEST!!! GAME ON PEOPLE!