I had a sudden urge to slap that silly chipper sideways.
I am such an idiot. I really, really thought I was going to lose five. So instead of being thrilled that I lost three pounds in one week I was grumpy. It's a wonder Dave doesn't kick me straight in my wide white arse. Instead, he sent me to bed like an overtired child who doesn't know they're overtired.
This morning I am back to my normal self – whatever that means.
And in the category of people say the darndest things ....
Last night I sat beside this cute little old lady at the Weight Watchers meeting. She was new and confused about how the program works. I explained a few things, suggested she talk to the leader (Diane) and gave her my best "be positive - you can do it" speech.
My Weight Watchers key chain had broke (you get it for losing 10% of your body weight) so at the end of the meeting I asked Diane for a new one – apparently they're insured for life so if you break one, they'll replace it! Awesome! So as I was replacing my charms on the key ring, the little old lady beside me asked what they were for.
"This one is for attending 16 meetings," I said.
"That's nice," she replied.
"This one is for losing 25 pounds."
She nodded, smiling.
"And this one is for losing 50 pounds."
She got a funny expression on her face. I waited for her to say, "Wow! That is fabulous! Congratulations!"
Instead she said, "So you were quite large, then."
I was stalking other bloggers this morning and came across a 49-year-old named Librarygirl in Melbourne, Australia, who says she is fixated on seeing what other 49-year-olds look like and so posted a scintillating array of photos featuring celebrities when they were her age.
Suddenly I had to find out what other people my age – born in 1960 – look like:
|Sean Penn. Does he get better looking as he gets older, or what?|
Wait, I'm gonna make him bigger. Just because he makes me all swooney.
|Tildan Swinton. I know, you're having trouble placing her. She won an Oscar|
for Best Actress in 2008 for her role in Michael Clayton.
|Jennifer Grey. Remember Dirty Dancing? Yah, she had the Time of her Life then.|
She looks great though. Real. Like, if she lived on your street she'd be the hottest
thing in the neighbourhood, right?
|Kristin Scott-Thomas and some guy. She's most famous for her|
role in The English Patient. My reading glasses from the grocery store look
just like Kristin's. I'm sure that's where she got hers.
|Daryl Hannah, having a bad day. |
I'll always think of Daryl as the mermaid in Splash.
|Kenneth Branagh. Saw him a short time ago|
in My Week With Marilyn. He was, as usual, amazing.
|Meg Tilly. She was the best thing about|
The Big Chill. And doesn't she look cute?
She reminds me of my cousin Kelly in
|Valerie Bertinelli. How can she possibly lose all|
that weight and still have boobs?
They're the first things to go! As soon as your
body hears the word 'diet,' it's boob-overboard!