When I found out my first husband was cheating on me and my marriage/life fell apart there were many people who stepped up and helped me keep it together - my parents, first and foremost, as well as friends and family.
There was also music. America by Simon and Garfunkel, as I veered down a new path in life. You Oughta Know by Alannis Morrisette, screamed at the top of my lungs, repeatedly, until it felt like my throat was bleeding.
And Jann Arden.
Beautiful, funny, middle-aged, quirky Jann Arden, the Canadian singer-songwriter who invented angst and whose songs are an anthem for anyone suffering from acute lack of self-confidence.
It's a wonder I didn't wear out her 'Greatest Hurts' CD, that's how much I played it. I knew every song by heart, every word, every note. Through one of the hardest times in my life, Jann was there for me and I loved her fierce.
Insensitive is one of her best and it's good listening on a rainy Monday morning when you're alone with your thoughts and your bitter coffee is growing cold.
How do you cool your lips
After a summer’s kiss
How do you rid the sweat
After the body bliss
How do you turn your eyes
From the romantic glare
How do you block the sound
Of a voice you’d know anywhere
Oh, I really should have known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Your casual good-byes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face
That told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be
Insensitive
Insensitive
Insensitive
How do you numb your skin
After the warmest touch
How do you slow your blood
After the body rush
How do you free your soul
After you’ve found a friend
How do you teach your heart
It’s a crime to fall in love again
Oh, you probably won’t remember me
It’s probably ancient history
I’m one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I’m out of hope, I’m out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have
Some advice to give on how to be
Insensitive
I really should have known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Your casual good-byes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face
That told me
Maybe You might have some advice to give
On how to be
Insensitive
Insensitive
Insensitive
P.S. Tomorrow I'm posting the winners from my Damned Door Contest - today's your last chance to get your guesses in! Believe me, even your wildest guesses could do you in good stead. Go ahead! Guess! You could win some fine Life on the Muskoka River bling! Details here.
Love Jan Arden! Glad this all helped you thru that awful time. But really, Doug cheating on you was a good thing now that we look back! Look how great your life has turned out with Dave! You should be singing Walking on Sunshine instead of sad melancholy songs that bring a tear to the eye. Cheers to You and Dave!
ReplyDeleteI heart Jann Arden. She is brilliant live. Funny, engaging, and such a singer/songwriter. Her music is the very kind to help get through life's hard spots. (Maybe Thing for You should be your Jann Arden song now.)
ReplyDeleteYep, that sucks. Especially in a marriage.
ReplyDelete"...on a rainy Monday morning when you're alone with your thoughts and your bitter coffee is growing cold..."
ReplyDeleteA painful fragment that, Cathy. Glad where you are in your life is so much warmer, and that you had music, song, friends and family to help you through the harder times.
I adore Jann Arden - I'm glad friends and family - and music! - have been there to help you through. As Liz said, you've come out the other side better, stronger and happier :-)
ReplyDeleteShe should hook up with the guitarist; what they're doing together is beautiful. Nobody who makes music like that could ever be insensitive, so I guess she'll never learn how.
ReplyDeleteI love Jann Arden. Um, does that mean I suffer from acute lack of self-confidence? [Maybe]
ReplyDeleteGood choice for "I" - using yourself as the post - a big hug to you for putting it out there and how wonderful music and even more wonderful family/friends can help the healing process. Glad that you are you!
ReplyDeleteAlways like that song...
Liz - you're absolutely right, of course. I just wish Jann Arden did a version of Walking on Sunshine...
ReplyDeleteLaurita - Thing For You is one of my very favourite songs and one of the very few happy songs Jann has ever recorded. I actually tried to find a video for that tune but couldn't.
Laura - doesn't it though?
Kevin - that sounds rather poetic when you quote it like that! Thanks! And thanks for the nice wishes.
PJ - I know, eh? Isn't she the best?
Mark - you're absolutely right. Jann doesn't have an insensitive bone in her body. (said like I know her.. but I feel like I do - gawd, that sounds stalkerish...)
Tim - yes?
Kathy - thanks for the hug! Did you know Jann has a diner out in Calgary? I'd love to go there some day -- maybe I'll stop by your house first and eat all that great food you're talking about on the A-Z challenge.
Deidra - a comment and an award? WOO HOO! Thanks so much! I'll swing by and check it out!
I went reluctantly at the time to a Jann Arden concert in a small concert hall many years ago. There is no question her songs and performance rip right through to your heart.
ReplyDeleteThat night she talked about her brother who was troubled and in and out of prisons all his life. She sang a song for him that was very moving, how she loved him, how she wanted the best for him etc. It resonated strongly with me having a younger brother in similar circumstances.
That evening I was woken up by the phone at 2AM. You know when the phone rings at that time it cannot be good. No, it wasn't my brother, it was another family member telling me my brother was killed earlier that night.
When I hear Jann sing it always reminds me of that night.
I've seen her, too. She's got a mouth like a truck driver.
ReplyDeleteI didn't go to music when divorcing. Too busy just coping. Spent a lot of time arguing with colleagues that a divorce means your kids are headed for doom. Seriously.
Fortunately, we live in the present and can enjoy where we are, while we learn from where we've been!
Glad you're not broken any more!
Jenn - "mouth like a truck driver!" That's part of her charm!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - That's an incredibly sad story, brought tears to my eyes. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
How fitting that I read this post. I haven't read your blog in awhile though I knew what you had experienced and wonder what you would say if you knew mine.
ReplyDeleteYour humour is like Jann Arden's and I agree that the lyrics to this song could only be understood by someone that has been used, abused and betrayed.
Happy for you that you have found new happiness. Myself, well my heart may never heal from the lies, deceit and betrayal I have suffered.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.