Thursday, January 2, 2014

Gurgle, Gurgle

My stomach is gurgling like Signorney Weaver's in Alien. Why is it, the very SECOND you step out of the shower, you have to go to the bathroom???

Yes, I just had a shower. (No wonder I was itchy yesterday.) It's 5:20 p.m. Alberta time – which is two hours behind most of you, unless you're Sue in England or Denise in Australia, who were both pretty much celebrating the beginning of 2024 when we were opening our presents Christmas morning – and I just had a shower.

It's been that kind of day. Busier than a two-peckered rooster in a henhouse. Looking after my two sickies, who are making obscene coughing and gagging noises in the family room (or maybe they're just watching Lost and Sawyer is punching Doc for the 15th-millionth time), taking down Christmas decorations, doing five loads of laundry and making up fresh beds, cleaning the truffles out of the kitty toilet and making supper ... I feel like I've been run over by a garbage truck. Did I ever tell you I knew someone who got ran over by a garbage truck? Seriously. Nice girl, but she's still picking potato peels out of her hair 15 years later.

Allow me to whine for a moment. Dave won't let me whine – says I whine too much. So I'll just do it quietly ... he'll never know ...

My back hurts. *sniff*

My feet hurt. *wah*

I think maybe, but I'm not sure, my throat is a little bit sore. *peers in mirror with flashlight looking for red spots and sees the obnoxious canker on my tongue that's been spreading holiday joy in my mouth since Boxing Day*

I'm gonna go find the economy size bottle of Tylenol and chug it down with a Diet Coke. I know. I live large. With any luck I'll get a buzz and all my achy bits will stop their caterwauling.

*gurgle, gurgle*

First thing's first, though.

*staggers off to the loo*

23 comments:

  1. you know you can always come next door and we can whine together while eating cheese ball......

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    Replies
    1. Is it fresh cheeseball or one that's been hanging around since "last year?" :)

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    2. It's fresh made today...

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  2. I am a firm believer in 'Give us this day, our daily whinge'. Look at it as a move designed to reduce violence - to yourself or others.
    Domestic duties are not high on my list, and neither is caring for the unwell. Yes I know, I am a hard and unnatural woman.
    Live large, and treat yourself. A real coke instead of the diet stuff?

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    1. "Give us this day, our daily whinge." I think I'm going to print that out on a placard and hang it in the kitchen. Seriously.

      Real Coke? Oh EC, you're a naughty one...

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  3. Speaking of potty habits, I just want you to know I think of you every time I wash dishes, or do some mundane chore, after which I reward myself with a pee. Hope your crew feels better soon and that you don't get it!!

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    Replies
    1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ermagherd, you're killing me here!

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  4. Oh boy.....I sincerely hope you are not going to join the ranks of the 'sickies'. Get that Tylenol into you.

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    1. Don't you hate it when everyone is sick at once? Then there's nobody to fetch you warm blankies, chicken soup and the clickerbox.

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  5. Geeze Louize, we don't need you sick, too.

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    1. I'd like to know who invited this bug into the house - had to be Dave or Mom. I don't care how cute they are, if I found out who did it, I'm a-gonna punch 'em in the nose. (or not, because imagine the flying mucous that would result... ew...)

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  6. The only person who could make sick funny! Happy New Year...yes, it's started already.

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  7. I am certain you deserve a good whine, how can you not otherwise, besides the other two are sleeping it off are they not?

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    Replies
    1. Good thinking, Cindy! I will whine at will! :) Thanks!

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  8. Concentrate on getting the patients well again BEFORE you succumb to the dreaded lurghi! (......exactly HOW do you spell that - lurghi? lergi? lurgy...?)

    Whine away, if you need to - just so long as you promise to reciprocate in my direction at some point in the future ;-p


    Actually, I prefer the alternative - 'wine' away! (slurp, slurp.....)

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    Replies
    1. I have no idea how to spell lurghi=lurghi=lergi=lurgy???? Is that a British word? I know lugi, but that's a booger-snot whistling from your nasal cavity....

      Pass the wine!

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    2. The definitive answer:

      http://separatedbyacommonlanguage.blogspot.co.uk/2008/12/dreaded-lurgi.html?m=1

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  9. Hope you feel better soon! But leave any xenomorphs in the loo.

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  10. Had a little giggle when you said you had to go to the bathroom, when you were clearly already in the bathroom. Unless you shower in the garden? Hmmm? We're not so fancy out here, we say toilet.
    I do hope you have the mildest form of lurgy and get over it much quicker than anybody else. Brush your tongue and gargle some mouthwash, that'll help kill a few germs.

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  11. Well, if you're not already sick by the time I've written this, you should be okay.

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