Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Popcorn



I was just now hanging out at someone else's blog and I read a comment from a commenter, because that's what commenters do, comment, about how she detests movie popcorn butter and can't even finish a tiny bag of popcorn at the movie theatre.

Everyone's entitled to their opinion, of course, but hers is just wrong.

Popcorn is the only reason to go see a movie, especially if it's a bad movie, especially especially if it's Les Miserables, and if you're going to order popcorn, you have to order extra butter, even if it's fakey butter, and if you have to have it layered throughout the ginormously XXXL bag, to the point where it's slimy and the 12-year-old boy behind the counter in the hideous polyester-doubleknit uniform replete with matching hairnet, wants to bitch-slap you.

If you can't finish the entire bag that evening, you eat it for breakfast the next morning.

That is what is Natural and Right and the Way Gawd Intended. People who do not eat popcorn this way are one step away from bestiality and Hell in a Handcart.

27 comments:

  1. Yeah, if you're going to get popcorn at the movies, you have to go for broke.

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    1. And get Twizzlers, too. And large pops. And maybe even Reese's peanut butter cups... Mmmmm....

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  2. Ha ha ha! As much as I don't like that greasy stuff, your description of the whole thing really makes me feel like digging into a bag of it right now!

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    1. Sounds like a plan!!! Thanks for the follow, Deniz!

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  3. This is a particularly funny post since I am sitting next to a huge bowl that's got nothin' left but popcorn seeds :)

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    1. Wot?? You ate all that and didn't share? *shakes head*

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  4. When we go to the movies, I get peanut M&Ms or Goobers and my husband gets popcorn, and we share. There's something about the chocolate and nuts and the salt and the butter - yum! Oh, and my husband puts lots of butter on the popcorn, turning the bag carefully so it gets all the way in there. Sigh. This is part of the reason we can't - and don't - go to the movies too often. :)

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  5. You made my morning. Good laugh.
    Oh, and I don't like Les Miz either and thought I was the only one.

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  6. I don't often want popcorn....to me it kind of smells like dirty feet. I guess I'm headed to the hot place lol.

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  7. Haven't seen the movie of Les Miz, but I adored the stage version, possibly because I'm cheap -- I mean thrifty -- and one certainly gets quantity for money with Les Miz. I'm with you on the popcorn, though; if you don't have to handle it carefully to keep it from squirting out of your hand and hitting someone three rows in front of you in the back of the head, you haven't put enough "butter" on it.

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  8. I guess I must be headed to hell in a handbasket b/c i don't like buttery popcorn at all. I prefer kettle corn, but overall I rarely eat it b/c those kernel flakes get jammed up under my gums and between my teeth, or gets stuck on my uvula and leaves me choking and coughing. Thanks but I'll have a box of SnoCaps and some Twizzlers.

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    1. Now your description is totally apt! I do like buttery AND salty popcorn but also like kettle corn...just no movie theatres have it. I do despise the husks getting in or between my teeth. I thought I was the ONLY one who had it stuck on the uvula. In fact some people I attempted to tell about it didn't know what a uvula was. I think they had it confused with vulva. LOL Junior Mints are good too.

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  9. movie popcorn with Nacho Cheese! YUMMMM! and you HAVE to take the leftovers home (not that I have leftover popcorn often)

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  10. I HATE movie theater popcorn! But not because I hate it, because I love it, and I can't go to a movie without wanting it. I have to psych myself up ahead of time: "I'm not buying popcorn. I'm not buying popcorn." Sometimes, I still buy the popcorn.

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    1. The buttery popcorn is the REASON I don't go often to the theatre. I will NOT deny myself the pleasure of a large carton with butter & salt half way through. I have enough self denial in my life without removing that guilty pleasure. I'm GLAD you sometimes buy the popcorn. You have a red beard like my son.

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  11. I have not had movie popcorn in years because I like the unhealthy butter too much. I'll gorge on it and further damage my weight and digestion. If only I could just dislike it! But the smell alone is so tempting.

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  12. Movies in theaters? Do people still do that?

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  13. I remember that post! I told Tammy you can never trust skinny chicks to bring snacks! That movie popcorn is soooo freaking awesome. The ginormous bag is the only thing would get me to see Les Miserables. Wolverine shouldn't sing!

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  14. And Boston Baked Beans, those little peanuts in the red candy shell. The salt OD is so extreme lips stay puckered for two succeeding days. Don't hold the butter. I mean, you're only eating it, not tasting it, so what's the prob.

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  15. Corny comments, Cathy. I try to forgo the popcorn at the movies.

    And did I tell you I've lost about 30 pounds? Less of me to love, but I'm no less loveable.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

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  16. I am NOT going to hell in a handbasket! I have to leave the butter off the popcorn; my colon says so!

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  17. Sorry Cathy, I have to disagree with you. Movie popcorn does not need extra butter, a small cup of popcorn is enough and if the movie is a bad one why go at all? Supermarkets out here sell bags of "movietime" popcorn, get one and watch a dvd at home instead. Or get the movie popcorn from the cinema, take it home and watch a dvd.

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  18. I can barely resist the big bucket of movie popcorn, plus seconds. With extra butter.

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  19. Theater popcorn is one of the true delicacies - it is just a shame they don't have a wine selection at the theaters.
    the Ol'Buzzard

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  20. Left overs from movie popcorn, you're kidding, right? I must have salt & butter added generously half way through & really get the 'stink eye' from the child behind the counter who hasn't lived long enough to appreciate the real pleasures of life. I'll add Junior Mints as well just for good measure. I enjoyed your description. Fortunately I don't go often or wouldn't fit into the theatre seats...hmmmm, maybe I wouldn't now. :)

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  21. I can see the appeal of Reese peanut butter cups (yum yum yum), but I've never cared for popcorn.

    The movie musical version of Les Mis... it would have been so much better if not for all that singing. Ackkk! I can't stand musicals, but got roped into watching that one. And if we could have replaced two members of the cast. Sasha Baron Cohen is a wanker of the first order and should be dropped into the Marianas Trench, and the actor who played Marius was just awful.

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  22. Wow. The Popcorn Wars - Butter Battle - Salt Assault - who knew sides would be formed on this issue? I hardly know where to run. Haven't been to a movie in so long, but like the buttered popcorn when I do go, and then again, I've eaten both the microwaved lightly everythinged popcorn and movie version popcorn while watching a DVD. I have to say, sometimes I don't like the kernels, and sometimes I don't like the movie. And sometimes I just fall asleep with my head in the bucket. Am I safe?

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