Why hello, 2014. How did YOU get here?

I don't make resolutions because I'm lazy as an old sow but a new year always gets me thinking. I wouldn't go as far as saying inspired, because that's just crazy talk, but there is a spark under my hood this morning.

Or maybe it's an itch and I just need a bath.

Regardless, there's a few things I'd like to get done this year.

I want to do more blogging, first of all. I've been remiss in that department and I miss it. That's a lot of misses, missus. 

I want to finish the book I started in Nano and then abandoned when I got sick. It's a real sick, twisted plot, by the way. If you ever get to read it, you'll be appalled.

Speaking of sick, I don't want to be sick anymore. Stupid sick. X-nay on the ick-nay. Oh, Dave and my mom are both sick. They decided they felt sorry for a homeless cold virus and invited it in for New Year's celebrations. Mom and It went to bed at 9:30 – I think they were getting it on. Dave and I stayed up until 30 seconds past midnight, then crashed. He had a mouthful of potato chips when he hugged me and kissed the air on top of my head at the stroke of 12. It was so romantic. I peed at 15 seconds to 12 – out with the old, you know. It's nice to start a new year with an empty pee-bag bladder.

I'd like to drive back to Ontario to see my kids. I'm going through kid-withdrawal. I need to hug 'em and kiss 'em and yell at 'em a few times to satisfy my cravings. 

I don't WANT to get on my exercise bike but I MUST because my ass is the size of Vermont and if I don't start pedalling soon, my ass will droop down to the pedals and I'll have to lift it up just to place my feet.

Welcome aboard, 2014. Holy crap I'm old.