Thursday, April 10, 2014

I is for Indulgence


My friend had a hissy fit the other night because her better half had inadvertently thrown out her last two cookies.

"All I wanted was a COOKIE. Is that too much to ask? A #@%#^$&% COOKIE???" She then listed all the multitudinous things she does for her spouse, her selfless hardships, her complete and utter martyrdom, "AND ALL I WANT IS A FECKING COOKIE."

Through a rainforest shower-head of tears, she told me it wasn't even a "good" cookie. It was a healthy cookie. Probably made with dried bits of fava bean, seaweed and non-glutinous bonito flakes.

I was, like, duuude, I wouldn't even let that shite in my house and, if it got there by accident, I'd think Dave was a superhero for throwing its stinky ass out the door.

"Go to the store," I told her, "and buy all of your favourite things."

She was, like, "Whaaa?" because, like most of us, when she goes grocery shopping she buys carrots and meat and toilet paper – all the sensible stuff – and then maybe, just maybe – as a treat – she might buy one carton of non-fat frozen yogurt, or bonito flake non-gluten cookies.

"Haven't you ever done that?" I asked.

"No," she said. "Well, not since I was a kid."

Ah yes. Kid-dom. I remember it well. I'd get an allowance of 50 cents on Saturday morning and I'd go directly to the local smoke & gift store and spend the happiest moments of my kid-week deciding what junk food to buy. A bag of chips, a chocolate bar, maybe some pop rocks and some shoestring licorice. Oh, man, those were the days.

I used to think that, when I grew up, I'd buy all of that stuff all of the time. What kid in their right mind would spend money on carrots and toilet paper when there are peppermint patties and corn chips? Whatever happened to that wonderful kid dream?

My friend got all excited at the prospect of going to the grocery store and frittering a hundred glorious bucks on nothing but cheesecake, double-stuf Oreos, sour cream and onion potato chips, real ice cream, chocolate syrup and whipped cream in a can.

"I'm gonna go," she said, drooling, and she hung up the phone with visions of banana splits dancing in her head.

I spent the next hour or so daydreaming about what I'd buy on an Ultimate Junk Food Shopping Trip and finally decided on:













Sooooo.... if you could go to the grocery store, right now, and fill your cart with anything your little kid heart desires, what would you buy?

38 comments:

  1. Definitely the licorice allsorts....lots of chips and some dark chocolate...then I'd bring it home and package it up in little bags that would last me all month as indulgent snacks. What a great idea. I'm gonna do that. (you know I won't don't you?)

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    1. You mean portion it out? Pffffft! Of course not!!!!

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  2. Ritz crackers and Philly cream cheese, chocolate pie, Hostess Ding Dongs and Snoballs, the largest Hershey bar I could find, along with a few packages of extra butter popcorn, to be eaten together--one big bite of chocolate shoved in with a mouthful of popcorn, a dark chocolate Milky Way... Gotta quit now. Have to get to the store. :-)
    Deb@ http://debioneille.blogspot.com

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    1. Debi, I LOVE your enthusiasm. I didn't even THINK about Ding Dongs and Snoballs ... and Ritz crackers? I love those things, love, love, love. I'm coming to your house for snacks tonight! :)

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  3. Gee i guess i have always indulged myself b/c if I walk by the candy aisle, and something strikes my fancy, I buy it. Not all the time. Cookies are usually always on the shopping list although I've been baking my own and I like them better. But if I could have what I bought when I was a kid, it'd be: Pixy Stix, Adams Sour apple, grape or watermelon gum, atomic fireballs, sweetarts, smarties (the American ones), Wacky Packs circa 1972-75, charms blow pops and lollipops, Skybar, red licorice, Gold Rush Gum (aka gold nugget gum), bubble yum....

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    1. PIXY STIX... Oh, and Sweetarts! YES!!! And I remember the Gold Rush Gum, too, came in a little bag with gold strings.... Again, I'm so impressed that you know the difference between American Smarties and Canadian Smarties ... totally different products, as you know.

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  4. Case of Hot Tamales, Rocky Road ice cream, Doritos, spice drops, Milk Duds, and Snickers.
    And of the above, usually only the Hot Tamales come into our house.
    Yeah, we're those disgusting people who eat healthy...

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    1. That's OK, Alex! Most of us do eat healthy most of the time - at least we should. It's just fun, once in a while, to indulge the kids we used to be.

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  5. I'm dying for a diet coke! And then it's cheesecake, and more cheesecake - hell the whole cheesecake! LOL

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  6. You've got all the bases covered with those choices! And thanks for the inspiration for "J." I wish I had the will power to resist all the junk food on my weekly shopping trip.

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  7. Chocolate cake, cupcakes, brownies, and the richest, most chocolate chip chunk filled chocolate ice cream I could find. :)

    Madeline @ The Shellshank Redemption
    Minion, Capt. Alex's Ninja Minion Army
    The 2014 Blogging from A-Z Challenge

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  8. I'd get those 'Queen Ann Chocolate covered Cherries', the ones that people give as Christmas gifts when they can think of anything else. I'd also get dry mix for brownies--warm, fresh from the oven brownies. And I'd get really fresh fish--catfish maybe, and cook it the way my mom did. Oh, this list could get really long.

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    1. My husband loves those Queen Ann things! (Actually, so does my ex-husband ... hmmm... makes me think ...)

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  9. Haha, fun post :D I still realize sometimes that "oh, I'm an adult now, no one stops me from buying this." Except for budget and health, of course... otherwise, my basket would be full gummy bears, marzipane, shiny beads, and books.
    Well, I still do buy the books.

    @TarkabarkaHolgy from
    Multicolored Diary - Tales of colors
    MopDog - The crazy thing about Hungarians...

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    1. Hey, books are GOOD for you and, like vitamins, they should be read every day!

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  10. Mmm. Chocolate. Dark chocolate. And olives. Stuffed with fetta. And more chocolate. And raspberries. And a padlock. Because these are ALL MINE.

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    1. Mmmmmm olives stuffed with feta... salty, delicious heaven. :) Better get that padlock, 'cause I'm-a-coming...

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  11. Hershey's chocolate peanut butter ice cream. A pint a night for life.

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    1. LOL! I love that you know EXACTLY what you want!

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  12. I've been eating Cadbury eggs all week. For my own health, someone ought to throw out any still lurking on the premises.

    And I think if your only snacks are super-healthy, then you're even more likely to get profoundly territorial about them. It's we who live with lots of goodies who can dispense more easily with them.

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    1. Yup, those things are pretty suh-weet. I was going to say, thankfully they're only available at Easter but that's just not true anymore. You can pretty much buy them anytime.... is it McDonald's that has Easter Creme Egg McFlurries? I think so... best not check that out.

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  13. Dill pickle dip? Now that is different!

    My cart would be full of raspberry sorbet, Twizzlers, cheesecake, Jolly Ranchers, sour gummy worms, Milky Way, chocolate covered raisins, and Cheetos. I'm sure I could think of more, but that's all I've got right now.

    Thank you for commenting on my post about my mom. :)

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  14. Super stuff, Cathy. So very true about kids' attitudes to sweets! Surprised that so many adults exercise even the slightest self control.

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  15. Chocolate and cheesecake would figure prominently!

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  16. Cathy: I don't really know how to say this. I've agreed with almost everything you've posted on your blog, but I'm afraid that today we will have to part ways. All those junk foods you want to buy are the kinds that make me want to vomit!! Yes, I know I have weird food issues, but I can't even look at gooshy foods like cheesecake and key lime pie. About the only things on your list that I could stomach are the Ruffles and maybe the maple cookies. No ice cream sundaes, Cathy? No peach cobbler? CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS???

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  17. Seriously? THAT was my grocery list this week. :) Funny, my friend come here to eat the food they remember from childhood... root beer floats, jasmine rice, beef stew, hot dogs cut into octopuses, hoodsie cups, freeze pops... one day it was crazy hot out and I swung into the house, grabbed a whole box of freeze pops and brought them back to work. People commented they hadn't had them since they were like ten.

    I thought that was crazy... life is SHORT people... eat the good stuff first!!!

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  18. Some cookies, perhaps. Jelly beans. Jujubes. Cinnamon buns. Licorice Allsorts.

    But be warned: Those who indulge, bulge!

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

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  19. You had me at peppermint patties! Then I saw the licorice allsorts...those are two things I would definitely buy along with string licorice, jelly babies, strawberry cream filled chocolates, chicken chips (crisps) barbecue chips, those long sugar coated donuts filled with jam and cream, (out here they have different names according to which store you buy them from) fruit filled danish pastries, custard danish pastries, jaffa cookies, lemon meringue pies, real ice cream (not that reduced fat stuff) in chocolate, vanilla and rum'n'raisin, carrot cake with yoghurt frosting, the list is endless.

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  20. And Butterscotch Ice Cream from the Cold Rock Ice Creamery, it's extra creamy so I limit myself to one smallish tub per summer.

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  21. I was perfectly happy sitting here reading blogs. Now I want All Sorts!

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  22. Raw Oysters & Bloody Marys
    the Ol'Buzzard

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  23. Extreme Moose Tracks ice cream, crackers, cheese spread, white choc macadamia nut cookies (the bakery kind), and lots of fruit. The latter is for when Mason's around; he loves fruit and it would keep him out of the sugar bombs.

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  24. Gosh, you're right. Even when I do buy treats, it'll be just one chocolate bar or a small tub of ice cream. Never everything all at once! (Who throws out cookies anyway? Had they expired or something?)
    So let's see... I'd get a cheesecake from the bakery, plus a few chocolate eclairs, some creme brulee, some Turkish desserts, lots of Twizzlers and gummy bears and Swedish berries, all the local and organic fruit I want no matter how much it costs, lots of fruit imported from Turkey (hey, it comes by magic, right?) including peaches and cherries and watermelons, and then for dessert (ha!) I'd have dark chocolate and a bottomless latte.
    I'm hungry now.

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  25. I'm a little late to the party. I'd be buying Moose Tracks ice cream, Hostess Cupcakes with cream filling, chocolate-covered almonds, cinnamon-apple Danish, cinnamon rolls, cinnamon hard candy, Milano cookies, Girl Scout Cookies, esp. Thin Mint (and put them in the freezer), Hershey's with Almond, chocolate-covered macadamia nuts, turkey, yams, Gewurtzraminer wine, dark chocolate with nuts, boysenberry pie. No wonder my cholesterol was up today on my lab work! Must. Get. A. Grip!

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  26. You got me with the Twizzlers...nothing like that here in Ecuador!! First thing I'll buy on my visit back to the US this fall. ;)

    Donna B. McNicol
    A to Z Participant

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