Monday, December 21, 2009

Tears and Wishes

Every once in a while I have to cry my heart out.
I did that yesterday.
A gut-wrenching, soul-sucking cry; where you can't breathe; where your nose runs and your eyes turn red; where it destroys you for hours afterwards. 
That kind of cry.
It really takes a round out of you. I went to bed last night before 8 o'clock. Slept like a baby. Even so, all day today I felt like I went 10 rounds with a prize-fighter.
A co-worker dropped me an e-mail today and said she wished she was me. I told her to be careful what she wishes for.
She wrote back, "You have everything you could possibly want. A beautiful log cabin beside a river. A great guy who loves you and fixes your car. Two cute kids. What more do you need?"
And I wrote back, "WORLD DOMINATION."
And she wrote back, "I see we have the same goals."
I laughed over that one.
I do have everything I could ever want.
Pretty much.
There are some things I don't have that I wish I had.
I wish my father was still alive.
I wish my mom wouldn't get any older.
I wish my children were with me every day.
The last wish? That's the one I cry over the most.
Who wouldn't?


  1. I am crying with you. And wish that more than anything for you. Shortly after we met and you told me the Dr. Seuss story I could read the pain between the lines. I wish I could make it all the way it should be. But I can't. My gripes and complaints don't come close to what I just read Cathy. You are a great lady with true heart and more forgiving than anyone I have ever known. I wish I could be like you. I feel honoured to know you.

    Hugs....big hugs

  2. Ah, a kindred spirit! I miss my kids, and granddaughter every day. Yet we Skype from afar and have a grand time!

  3. Hmmm. You sound like me.
    I prefer the world domination days.
    Crying sucks.


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