Thursday, May 10, 2012

Ear piercings


"Can I get my ear pierced?" asked Angus. "My left ear?" Like there's a difference. Is there a difference? Back in the day you had your left one pierced if you were straight and your right one pierced if you were gay but now everybody's got everything pierced so what does that mean?

"Sure," I said, because I grew up at a time when all the coolest guys had one ear pierced. "BUT THAT'S IT. No nose piercing, or tongue piercing, or belly-button piercing, or woo-woo piercing. No piercings on your damn eyebrow or your cheek – neither the cheek of your cheek or the cheek of your arse. None of those big hole stretchy piercings that make your ear lobe into a picture window, either. Those really gross me out. Can you imagine being an old man with picture window ear lobes? All that long white ear hair and orange wax chunks stuck in the ginormous hole, that grows bigger and bigger as you get older (because it happens) until you're 90 years old and your floppy, holy ear lobe stretches down to your flappy, pierced, hairy nipples. And when you're at the nursing home the personal care workers will have to dig out yesterday's oatmeal from the hole in your tongue, only they won't because, ewww, that's just gross, so the food will moulder there until it stinks and none of your grandchildren will visit because you smell like the science experiment in my fridge at work."

Angus stared at me uncomprehendingly. "So does that mean I can get it done?"

Oh for heaven's sake. A perfectly good lecture in one holy ear and out the other. "I said yes. Where are you getting it done? The hair salon in town?"

"Uh, no. Jaylene's gonna do it."

Jaylene is Angus's girlfriend. She's got more piercings than a baked potato. Apparently she has given lots of people piercings and is a bit of an expert in this department.

"Oh really?" I snorted, visions of bloody ears, screams and infections dancing through my head. "What's she going to use, a darning needle and an ice cube?"

Angus assured me she was using "the proper equipment" with disposable needles that only get used once.

***
When I picked him up from the GF, he came bobbing out to the car baring his neck. I had forgotten about his earring and thought he was giving me an opportunity for hickey inspections.

"No," he said, disgusted. "My EAR."

I thought, "you have a hickey on your ear?" But then I saw the nifty-cool earring and was suitably impressed. "Good job," I yelled out the car window to Jaylene. "Did he cry like a little girl?"

"YES," she said, laughing. My big, brave son laid his head on an ice pack for a half an hour before the big ta-doo and apparently clung to his GF like a castaway on a lichen-covered rock, screaming, when the deed was being done. I heard all the gory details and, suffice it to say, new equipment or not, it was still very much like a darning needle and an ice cube.

41 comments:

  1. No thanks!
    Bet you wish you were a fly on the wall for that event though.

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    1. No kidding, Alex! It would have been cool to have a video camera, too. Something for his wedding day...

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  2. You're a cool mom. I hope Angus is happy with his new hole. Funny post today! XD

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    1. Thanks, Carrie. Yeah, he's strutting around like a peacock with a new feather...

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  3. I was one of those who had a friend pierce my ears using ice cubes and big needle. I shudder when I think of it.

    Very funny post. Woo-woo piercing? Shuddering again!

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    1. No way was I letting anyone with a darning needle near my ear! I went to the jewellery store and had them use those punch thingeys... much less painful, I'm sure! So great to see you, Marisa!!! How ya doing?

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  4. No matter how it gets done, someone stabbing a hole right through a portion of your body hurts like holycrapola. Hey, if a big guy like Mike Holmes can wear an ear ring it must be all right.

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    1. Isn't Mike Holmes just the cutest wee stud muffin???? Sigh!

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    2. Absolutely adorable....gotta love those coveralls.

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  5. That's what you wanna hear. He cried like a girl. Yea verily ...
    It's so cool, living vicariously through our young. I was one of those girlfriends, once.

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    1. Hahahaha!!!! It IS, isn't it? They all think they're being so original, just like we did!

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  6. I got pierced earrings when I was young - but not allowed to have them pierced until I was much older. It was an ice cube and needle job.

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    1. Yup Lucy, I had to wait, too. Thirteen was the magic age for me. I was old enough to keep them clean and look after them. Good old rubbing alcohol and Polysporin, used twice daily, for YEARS. I can't believe how many people had ice cubes and needles... I gotta think it's worse than a trip to the dentist or childbirth.

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  7. That looks like a very respectable piercing. I've seen some go wrong, and they are really hard to patch up after they have been botched. Props to the GF.

    Many moons ago, my mom did my ears at home with ice and a needle. My kids looked at me like I had grown two heads when I told them that's how I got mine done. LOL

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    1. I can't BELEEEVE how many people have had their ears pierced with a needle and an ice cube! My mind is officially boggled!

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  8. I've had my ears pierced with ice cubes and a needle but I've also had it done it at the mall with that staple gun thingy. I'm not sure which was worse. But that was back when I was "cool" and had two holes in each ear. Whoo hoo! :)

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    1. You're still cool, Madeline! (I've got five holes in my ears ... three of which have pretty much closed up..yup, the good old '80s).

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  9. Nice lecture, and I can see how the point may have gotten lost in it! lol My friends took me to get my ears pierced for my b-day in 10th grade. My mom wasn't terribly thrilled but allowed it. I was 15.

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    1. Yup, by the time you're 15 ear piercings are pretty much the least of a mom's problems!!!! (What a nice birthday present!)

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  10. I'm glad my boys never asked if they could pierce their ear because I don't know what I would have said. You are a good mother :)

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    1. Either that Judy or I'm a TERRIBLE mother... jury's still out!

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  11. I'm really really glad you clarified that there was to be no "woo-woo" piercing, I too will stay away from that! Tell Angus it looks great! (although the compliments of a 38 year old probably won't be very impressive...) :)

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    1. Compliments from a 38-year-old are WAY cooler than from a 51-year-old mother, jest saying...

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  12. Ah, I remember these days with a lack of fondness.
    Hopefully, it was painful enough that he'll stop with the one, but oh how quickly we forget Mom.

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    1. We always forget the pain... I mean, if we didn't, every mother on the face of the earth would kick men out of their beds after kid #1.

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  13. Poor kid. I'm almost sorry I laughed so hard at his discomfort. Good job he'll never be birthing a kid of his own.

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    1. He's a guy... poor guys... the human race would die off tomorrow if they had to give birth!!!

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  14. My daughter just got her ears pierced for her 9th birthday. No wailing or anything; although, she did shed a tear after the first one and asked for a hug after the second.

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    1. Awwwww, Andrew that is such a sweet story! Poor wee little thing... I hope she has plenty of pretty earrings in her jewelry box from her loving dad.

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  15. Thank you for your sweet comment :)

    You make me laugh out loud! "The cheek of your cheek or the cheek of your arse" :D The earring looks good. I used to have a lot of piercings too, all over the place. I call those days my "personality crisis" :D I'm so glad I did no ear stretching. I have friends who have that, regretted it and now have big see-through holes. It's gross!

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    1. I know, right? It's all good during the "rebellious" stage but not so great 20 years later!!!! I suppose they could plug the hole with Poly Filla or something...

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  16. I had my ears pierced when I was 20 in rebellion after a bust-up with a boyfriend. He didn't like pierced ears - or short hair, either - yup, that went for the chop too! ;-)

    I had my ears done in my lunch break one day -suffered for it though, as I worked as a telephonist - this was the 1970's and I had to wear one of the heavy-duty headsets - boy did my ears ache! :-/

    Mind you, if my ears piercings ever closed over I don't think I could ever have them done again. I'd have to give my collection of earrings away - and I have al least 40 pairs!

    Angus is brave and his Mum is cool - just hope if isn't the thin end of the wedge - he might nit stop at ears!
    :-o

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    1. What a great comment, Sue! Gawd, don't we all do way too many wild things because of boyfriend bust-ups? ( I started smoking when I was 21 because of a BF bust-up. Oh well. I quit and he's quit and life goes on... 40 pairs of earrings??? COOL!!!!)

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  17. I have my ears pierced but yikes, that was something I wouldn't do again. Why kids want to make more holes in themselves, I'll never understand.

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    1. And, I swear, that's why they do it! Mom and Dad hate it? LET'S DO IT!!!!!

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  18. It looks cool! But I agree, those big, giant holes that you put a big plug into are gross!

    (OMC, I just read my second line and hope it doesn't get misconstrued...)

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  19. Oh yeah, bet he cried like a little girl. Except girls never seem to cry during piercings, do they? Does that make them manly?

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    1. Well if they were manly, I guess they'd cry like a little girl...omg, my head hurts, John! ;)

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  20. And I'm the mom with the son with windowpains, er, windowpanes in his earlobes--and I hate em! But, his ears, his...OMG, you cracked me up with your lecture.

    You're an awesome mom. Add me in on the ice-cube-needle poll--that's how mine were done too (it was the '70s).

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    1. I got mine done in 1973 (well, the first two - the next three came during the many-ear-hole '80s), but I still managed to cart my butt through our backyard and up over the hill to the jewelry store in "the plaza" (that's what we called it - "the plaza")... so maybe I wasn't all that brave or maybe none of my friends knew about ice cubes and needles or maybe dementia truly has set in and I just can't remember any of it... thank god, really. Some things (like entire decades) are best forgotten!

      So glad to see your flash story, Peg, and sorry about calling you Pegjet on Twitter - I hope the Roger dude appreciated the shout-out!

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