Wednesday, April 16, 2014

N is for Noises


My friend is going through some bad shite right now and I've been spending a lot of time on the telephone with her, listening to her ups and downs and trying to help her get to a healthier emotional state.

I don't mind, not at all. I love talking to her and she's helping me deal with my own problems, just as much, or if not more, than I'm helping her. Plus, we're just big gabbers – there was one day we were on the phone for nearly four hours.

Crazy, right? Normally I don't even LIKE talking on the phone.

I don't know how you operate when you're having long telephone conversations, but I try to get other stuff done when I'm yakking. Not big noisy stuff, like Hoovering under the sofa, or distracting stuff, like blogging, but little stuff like emptying the dishwasher and cleaning out the kitty litter. I put the phone on speaker, because after a while the cell phone heats up and burns my ear, and I go about my business. I've made lunch while I'm talking to her, I've had a tinkle in the loo (but never number two - I have to draw the line somewhere), and today I painted my toenails and trimmed my bangs.

We were having a heavy duty conversation this morning. She was spilling her guts. It was emotional, rip-your-heart-out stuff. If I was her therapist, I would have said she was having "a moment." She was "making progress." It was deep, man. Deeeep.

Naturally I didn't want to interrupt her to say, "My throat is really sore and I need to gargle with this shit the doctor gave me," because that would be selfish and rude, and it would disrupt the emotional "moment" my friend was having. So I slipped into the bathroom and got out my medicine, while my friend continued to spill her guts.

"... I was surrounded by blood, and by trauma, at that point. It seemed like everywhere I turned, there was crisis, and I didn't know what I was going to to. It was terrible, just horrifying and ..."

"ROWWRGARRGGGRROWWNNNNGURGLE .... choke, spit, sploosh ... BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I was laughing because I realized how loud the gargling was and how awful it was I was interrupting with GARGLING, and the more I understood what a complete jackass I was, the harder I laughed.

When she could finally get a word in edgewise my friend said, "What the FECK is wrong with you?"

Only she didn't say feck, she said the real thing.

"Do I need to call 9-1-1?"

Which made me laugh harder, which made her laugh, and pretty soon we completely forgot about the deeeep shit we were talking about because all we could do was gasp weakly and wheeze.

Best laugh I've had in weeks.









21 comments:

  1. I am cracking up so bad!!!! lmao

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  2. Dontcha just LOVE those moments ... LMAO

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  3. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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  4. this is what good friends so for each other GB.

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  5. Love it. And in marathon phone-a-thons with one of my friends I have wept, I have laughed, I have laughed until I wept. Often in the same call.
    Hope you are getting better. Quickly.

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  6. They do say that laughter is the best medicine and it seems in this case it was.

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  7. Dear Streppy: You know what they say: there's nothing like sharing a gargle to bring two people closer together! (They do say that, right? I mean, why wouldn't they say that?) Thank you for the laugh!

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  8. When I get trapped in a long phone call I put it on speaker phone, turn down the sound on the computer and get some blog visiting done. Usually all that's expected of me is an ummmhummm once in a while.

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  9. Cathy that is so funny. I'm still chuckling. Hope you are feeling better.

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  10. Oh my sounds like my friend and I on the phone lol ! Hey laughter is the best medicine anyways so good that ya both got a good giggle out of it all and glad your ok ! Thanks for sharing . Have a good and Happy Easter weekend !

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  11. Remember when we had twenty foot cords on the hand set. I think I had a fifty or so foot cord; I remember I could go up the steps of my split level and take a discrete pee while on the phone. I could close the bathroom door and have a private conversation. And of course make dinner and wash the dishes. Good days.
    And, I hope you are feeling better. A belly rippin', rib grippin' laugh is good for that.

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  12. And THAT'S why I prefer phoning to skyping :-) you just can't get anything done when they can see you.

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  13. If one must have a cathartic moment, it's good to have it in a gargle... or a laugh!

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  14. And she is probably the better for it all - laughter is the best medicine! Great story!

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  15. There really is something healing about laughter.

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  16. I don't think I've had four hours of phone chat in my life and certainly not all at once. I'm a text message girl.
    Laughter heals a lot of things. I finished Green Eggs and Weezie, found it was one of those books I couldn't put down. I laughed and cried and wanted to smack Butch.

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  17. Hahaha, well, your best friend probably appreciated the tension breaker. At least your friendship is strong enough to withstand the sounds of gargling. :)

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  18. Everybody should have those kinds of friends.

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  19. Wait... you didn't mute the phone call while you gargled?

    Oh honey... I need to teach you how to multi task. :)

    I will usually talk on the phone until my hands go numb. After that it's a crap shoot of how long I will last.

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