Friday, April 13, 2012

A to Z Honesty - L is for life or lack thereof


The older I get, the more I'm around death, the less I'm afraid. Sometimes I welcome it. No stress. No to-do list. No trying to please people who can't be pleased. No feeling bad about things I've said or things I've done. Things I can never change, things I don't have the serenity to accept. All that, washed away in an absence of breath.

When I was younger, I feared death. But now, as some of my favourite people have passed on, I see the comfort of knowing a path has been cleared. All the best people are doing it, dying. And if they can do it, so can I.

44 comments:

  1. Amen.

    Not that I embrace death--oooooooh nooooooo--but to do so with grace, dignity is a very good thing.

    For me accepting my mortality makes me live each day with zest, even the crappy ones (and I am having a few of those lately). It makes me realize the joys and sorrows of living, and that life IS hard. But there are lessons in life, which is why we live. Peace...

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    1. I hate crappy days. Hope things get better, Linda.

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  2. I find the idea of death quite comforting. Maybe that's why getting older is more and more uncomfortable. My mother is 90 and fairly healthy yet but she's getting tired - and lonelier as there are fewer and fewer of her contemporaries around - almost no one she has shared memories with. I don't even want to get where she is.

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    1. I hear ya, Jeannie. Ninety? Wow. That's amazing though, isn't it?

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  3. Part of my cancer experience was facing and, I believe, coming to terms with my own mortality and death. Actually, it's a rather liberating feeling. Great post!

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    1. It is, isn't it Texas? And I'm so GLAD you beat cancer. Sorry to hear you had the struggle, though.

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  4. When I was young I wanted to live forever. Maybe if I'd stayed young I'd still want to, but I didn't and I don't. And yes, the more people go before me the more I'm fine with going. In fact, I'm looking forward to it. It's another adventure.

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    1. I agree with you. Adventure is a perfect word.

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  5. Hi Cathie .. being around the dying every day - they don't seem to know it - yet when their time comes, they go with quiet dignity. But I like your post - it's good to be ready ... for when our time comes - I hope many years to go yet ... Cheers Hilary

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  6. i never thought much about death as a kid because i was blessed not to have it near me. now i have goals of what i'd like to do & see before i die, but i'm also realistic that it may not happen. do the best you can for today cause you never know!

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  7. I think of death as a door opening on to another level of existence.. I'm in no rush to move on but when the time comes I'll be excited to begin a new adventure.

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    1. And there's that adventure word again... one of my favourite words, Delores, and it applies perfectly to the topic.

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  8. When my sister died a few years ago, it almost killed me. Knowing she will be there waiting for me when I die helps me get out of bed in the morning. I try not to whine about it, but I suffer from an auto-immune disease that bites it. Thinking about a pain free existence one day, is also a huge draw.

    I don't court death or welcome it with open arms, but I am looking forward to one day being in paradise where my Saviour and my sister both await. Hopefully, they will let me sublet one of the rooms in her gigantic mansion.

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    1. Mansion? COOL! Ya think it will have a Jacuzzi and some good looking cabana boys???? (Sorry to hear about your sister, Jay.... I think death is always harder on those who loved the deceased. That sense of loss is overwhelming.)

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  9. I don't fear my own end, but I dread saying good-bye to my loved ones when their time comes. Tears after a death are always selfish tears. They are not for the one who has gone, but for ourselves because we'll miss them.

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    1. Exactly, Laurita. That's exactly how I feel, too.

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  10. Death is a natural part of life. The only death I can conceive of not being able to handle would be the death of one of my children.

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    1. Definitely one of life's hardest things, losing a child. Let's hope and pray it never happens.

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  11. I don't fear death itself - my only fear is dying alone alone or in pain.

    With the natural course of things, most of the relative of the generation above me have died - it will seem strange when my contemporaries begin to go. That said, my brother has just been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimers - that's like a death sentence already. :-/

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    1. Awww Sue... so sad. Alzheimers is like a death. and it's like Laurita says about death: it's harder on those who love the person with Alz. rather than the person with the disease.

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  12. Love your blog! I read back through all your A to Z posts and some others. I love what you have to say about honesty and blogging and most everything else. Can't wait to read more! Thanks for the follow, it is much appreciated :)

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    1. WOW! Thanks Gerri! Wowsers and more wowsers. You just made my day!

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  13. I'm still afraid! Maybe when my kids get a little older I'll be less so.

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  14. There are some trends that just make themselves obvious. Getting older and seeing more death is one of those. Although I'm not itching to wake up to a cup of "Joe died" or an extra shot of "take me to my grave", I have grown to accept my humanity, that whole "I'm invincible" thing a long ago bridbrain silliness of my youth.

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    1. "A cup of Joe died" sounds like a new brand at Starbucks!
      (I hear ya, Mizz Brown!)

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  15. I have never read more elegant words on the subject. Not an easy one, but isn't it so, that "all the best people are doing it?" I'm in no rush for that moment, but it's comforting to think of it this way.

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    1. Geez, Susan, thanks for the compliment! (Hugs!)

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  16. I just attended the funeral today of my 50 year old swimming friend Beth, who died in her sleep. I agree that death becomes less frightening as we get older. Still, it's hard to see someone relatively young die. That's where God comes in to comfort me.

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    1. Oh Jennifer, I am SO sorry to hear that. Fifty is way, way, WAY too young (I'm 51 - I can relate)
      Hugs and very best wishes to you and Beth's other friends and family. So sorry.

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  17. Death is inevitable, and that's my prompt to get on with life, as well as appreciate and accept the limitations. Liking the honesty :-)

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  18. You are right of course, but it gives me an incentive to try and live this life as well as I can. And PS - L is also for love and Lindt chocolate. I don't think I want to live my life without these two.

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    1. Love AND Lindt chocolate?????? What was I POSSIBLY thinking???? Pass some my way, will ya EC?

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  19. your thoughtful post brought out the best in others. Wonderful comments from your readers.
    karen

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    1. I hear ya, but I'm not in any hurry, either.

      Kathy M.

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    2. I absolutely agree, Karen. I love, love, love all comments. And the people who make them!

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    3. Me either, Kath. Death (and taxes) can just sit down and wait.

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  20. Wow- that's deep!

    I can truly relate to what your saying. If you live long enough -you do really come to realize that there isn't anything new under the sun.

    I have been, and am so thankful for the entirety of my life on this earth thus far; never a day has gone by that I haven't been blessed in some way or another - that is an overwhelming feeling, and something to be so grateful for!

    Lessons never end and contact with people doesn't either unless you hibernate- in that sense one can grow weary if you allow things to get the best of you; at some point you simply desire - retreat.

    Change and being heightened by it is a wonderful things, and I hope as long as I have breath that I will continue to learn , grow and be heightened; when God is ready to call me home- I'm ready!

    Powerful post!!

    Blessings!

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    1. Too may wonderful people in my life have passed on. Life is for living and for many of them it was, I believe, a relief to pass the torch on because their quality of life was so poor.

      When quality of life does not exist, then life becomes a burden and not a joy as it should be.

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