Monday, April 16, 2012

A to Z Honesty - N is for Ass

I am such an ass sometimes. OK, since this is an honesty thing, I'm an ass a LOT of times. But yesterday I was particularly assy.

There are 1,735 blogs signed up for this A to Z Blogging Challenge. That's crazy good, yes? But deciding to visit as many of those blogs as possible in just one month? Why that's CRAZY. Still, I've been trying. When someone throws a gauntlet at me and whacks me in the face with it, I pick it up and whack 'em back. The rest of my life is lived as a lazy slug but at gauntlet throwing I am an Olympian. (What the feck is a gauntlet anyway?)

So yesterday I was A to Z-ing at a rapid rate because it was the first day I'd had in ages to spend some quality time with my gauntlet, and after a couple hours of visiting other people's blogs and trying to make quasi-intelligent comments, I came across Graphophobia, the earnest blog of a timid writer named Kevin B. Hiatt whose post about goals struck me as inspirational. Thus I was blatting in his comment box with my usual peppiness, writing this:
I need to do ALL of those things. Except the video games, because I never play them anyway, but I need to get BACK to my diet and BACK to exercising and BACK to writing.
And then, because I was all hepped up on peppiness, enthusiasm and stupidity, I finished the comment with this:
You go, girl! Thanks for the inspiration!!!!!
In case you're wondering, Kevin is not a girl. My apologies to you, Kevin. As I've said, I am an ASS. I should just go to other people's blogs and write "ASS was here."

Speaking of A to Z, I have a couple observations to make.

1. I had no idea there were so many blogs out there completely dedicated to rodents. Gerbil blogs. Guinea pig blogs. Hamster blogs. What the feck, people? Entire blogs about a being that only lives for two years and spends that entire time scurrying around wheels, eating freeze dried grass pellets, pooping and biting the fingers of small children? My own blog is so much better - writing about asses. (I hear ya.)

2. When you follow a gerbil blog? The gerbil blog does not follow you back. Maybe it's because it's in its cage. Or one of those plastic balls. Hard to hit the follow button, also, when your arm is a quarter of an inch long. Or maybe gerbils are just snooty. Or they don't want to read about asses.

83 comments:

  1. I did a pre-A-Z trawl a couple of weeks ago and was also struck by the small rodent presence.

    Like you I spent a lot of time yesterday blog-hopping and feeling pretty proud of myself for getting through around 200 blogs before realising I still have over 900 to go. My heart would be sinking if I hadn't found so much great stuff to follow.

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    1. A trawl... I am loving that word.
      Amanda, there's no hope for visiting every single one, is there? I mean.. not a hope in hell. Oh well.. at least we're giving it that old gerbilly try!

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  2. I'm trying to grab a few random blogs every day, plus the ones who comment on mine. That's a lot of blog visiting, but it has been very interesting.

    I know what you mean about the assery. (Not that I think you are) I constantly have the feeling that I said something stupid or insulting. I'm not sure if that's because I have been stupid or insulting, or because I'm really paranoid. Maybe a bit of both. :D

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    1. I hear ya, Laurita! But you have NEVER made an ass out of yourself in comments as far as I've seen. YOu're always insightful and funny and nice and cute.

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  3. Am laffing my socks off at this! ;-p
    (well, not really - I mean, have you ever really known that to happen?)

    As to the great number of blogs to be visited - I see the original number has been culled slightly (there were 1,936 when I started out!) but even so it will take months to get round everyone.

    I started out, as suggested from my position at No.98 (soon adjusted to 96!) and worked my way down, aiming for at least five blogs a day and more if I had time (although some bloggers don't seem to understand 'keep it short and snappy'!)

    But now I've given in to the 'surprise me button' - which is on a par with Forrest Gump's 'box ah chock-lits' - you never know what yer gonna get!

    I haven't found any rodent-bloggers yet, Cathy - but there are certainly a diverse bunch of writers out there..... :-o

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    1. OH god, Sue, my socks are hanging on by a thread, too! Yeah, there's been a culling of the herd... but not a gerbil was harmed in the culling. They're still out there, eating, pooping and fornicating.

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    2. .....if the latter applied, wouldn't that mean MORE blogs to visit? :-o

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    3. OH god. Save me from fornicating gerbils.

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  4. Haha well at least you apologized for it! I had the same observation about gerbil blogs too though, and I for one will never understand. Great post!

    Just a Nice Girl

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    1. Maybe it's the "new thing." Maybe we're all behind the eight ball here. Maybe we need to get a gerbil...

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  5. Aw, we've all screwed up on comments some time . . . BTW, I ran across a hamster blog the other day, I can't imagine being able to write that much about a rodent. Oh well, to each their own! Thanks for stopping by my blog (Karo syrup). Nice to meet you!

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    1. KARO SYRUP... yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. See? There's a topic you could write an entire blog about!!!

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  6. PLEASE tell me how N is for ass... I feel like I'm missing something vital here, like part of my brain.

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    1. SNORTING HERE... spewing my cereal and blueberries on my laptop... HAHAHAHAHAHA!
      Well, Laura, ass has absolutely NOTHING to do with the letter N!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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    2. STill laughing here!!!! Wot, am I SUPPOSED to follow the rules?????? hahahhahahah

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    3. SUPPOSED...that's an S word...

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    4. You have both made my day! I too, was wondering about the ASSociation! :)

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    5. Linda, Mizz Laura Eno is BAD TO THE BONE. And she's got this friend named Jezebel? Who bites? Stay clear, Linda, stay very very clear......... :)

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  7. I'm learning to not eat or drink anything when I read your blog because it inevitably ends up all over my keyboard when I burst out laughing at some point in the reading of your posts. For some reason, today it was this - "ASS was here." Not exactly sure why but it was. :)

    And I can't comment on the rodent blogs since the tortoises, aka reptiles, really rule the roost over at my blog. They just let me think I'm in charge. :)

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    1. Hey Madeline, I totally have my breakfast all over my keyboard, too!!!! hahhahahahaha!!!!! I love it when people laugh! THANK YOU!!!!

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  8. I didn't know there were gerbil blogs either. Silly me!
    And to think I felt bad when I have misspelled names or told someone I'd be by to visit their blog when, duh, I am already following. Too many blogs. I am doing better at visiting than last year though.

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    1. SEE? It's hard! ARgh... we do our best, Ruth - after that, we screw up...

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  9. Wow, so far I haven't had the pleasure of coming across any gerbil or hamster centered blogs. I did alway want a guinea pig when I was a kid...

    If you want one more gerbil-free blog to check out...you should visit mine! I'm also doing the A-Z Challenge. http://trifleslifles.blogspot.de/

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    1. Wot? No gerbils, Liwi?
      OK.. I scanned back through the list and found this one. I've gotta warn you, though, it's pretty darn cute.
      http://ffnftgerbils.blogspot.ca/

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    2. That is way too adorable, now I want a gerbil.

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  10. Hookt on fonix wurkt for yu tu?

    Yeah, hamster blogs just don't understand them...I'm glad someone's writing them though...also glad its not me...cause then I'd have to have a hamster...or lie...actually...now that you think of it...

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    1. ROFL!!!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!!! *seriously laughing out loud at your fonix line*
      Screw the rules, Ron!!!! What, is the A to Z police gonna root me out???? Maybe the gerbil police... oh shite...

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  11. Oh Cathy..we all have a good dose of "assitis" every once in a while. I'm sure you'll be forgiven. We call it "foot in mouth disease" over here.

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    1. I call it my normal state of being, Delores!!! ;)

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  12. Well, for an ass, you are so darn funny! I'll tell you who the ass is, ME! I haven't even tried to get to all those blogs. I just don't have it in me. I will follow whoever stops by my blog but I think I will fall on my ass if tried to read too many blogs this month.

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    1. And, Clarissa, I would laugh because honestly? People falling on their asses is the FUNNIEST THING EVER.

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  13. Bah hahahahahaha! You're a riot! Hey, maybe the name was Kevina? or Kevrina? No? Oh well. I tried. LOL

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  14. I can top that. I was writing a comment on what I thought was this woman's blog and used her name. After I'd posted it, of course, I realized it was not her blog but a guy's. I could have gone back and deleted and posted the comment again with the correct name, but you see I am a big Ass! And so left it as was.

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    1. LOL!!!! See? I could have done that, too but assiness is catching, I swear to gawd!

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  15. ROFLMBO.....you are moving rapidly towards my number one read of the day. Keep it up!!

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  16. That's why I don't do the A-Z challenge: I wouldn't even want to try spending hours visiting all those blogs. So that makes me an ass? SORRY!!!

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    1. Pfffft... you're too busy creating IMPORTANT stuff... nothing assy about that!

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  17. HILARIOUS!!! "Ass was here!" You, do dude. ;) xo!

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    1. heheheheh! Thanks Lisa! I think I"m going to put Ass Was Here as my e-mail signature. Or, simply, Ass Lady. Whatcha think?

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    2. Oh Ass Lady for sure. I might have to use it too though--or maybe "Lisa's foot was here...in her mouth, ALL the damn time."....but that might be a little long...

      oh, and above, it was supposed to say, "You GO dude" not "do"--I can't type either...

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  18. Since ROFLMAO is one of my favorite expressions on the web, I guess that means that I am in the "make an ass of myself" league too.

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  19. I love your blog!I'm definately a follower now....eh! :)

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  20. This is SO good! So like what I feel a lot of the time...

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    1. Oh, don't feel like an ASS, Effervescencia! You have so much more going for you than that! Go! Be free! Conquer the world!

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  21. Cathy, that is hysterical! I'm sure he wasn't offended.

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    1. Thanks Alex. (I hope not... the gerbil bloggers, on the other hand....)

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  22. I need you to know that you just totally stole my thunder for my "R" blog.

    Seriously? Gerbils. I know. WTF?

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    1. I read your comment at work, Juli, and I laughed so hard people wondered what was so darned funny. You were going to write about this???? HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

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  23. I was also surprised by the number of rodent blogs. But who am I to judge, since I spend an alarming number of posts talking about my dogs. I definitely need a life. But that's not going to stop me from talking about my furry baby again on 'P' day.

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    1. See, dogs are, like, real animals, Jocelyn. They're practically people! Cats and dogs, they're so far above gerbils it's like comparing ... gee, I don't even know... maybe like comparing Ernest Hemingway with a Grade two student...Looking forward to furry babies on P days. (Hoping they're diapered)

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  24. Am I missing out on something? I have never seen a gerbil or rodent blog. I have see a blog dedicated to an actor and the blogger is even doing the ato z of him.

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    1. http://ffnftgerbils.blogspot.ca/ is a pretty cute gerbil blog, Cassam. WHO'S THE ACTOR BLOG???? Gotta see that one... suddenly I feel like I'm back in high school comparing notes on who's cool and who's a gerbil...

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  25. We've all lost our focus once in a while and posted an ass-worthy comment. Besides, you're so sweet ya know we'll always forgive ya...such a charming guy you are...

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    1. HAR!!!!! "guy" .. You're such a funny girl, Alan!

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    2. Ya, that's me...the bearded lady!

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  26. Does that make you a Nass?

    And I'm with you on the rodent blogs. I mean, what the heck? I'd never seen one before the challenge, but I've come across at least 4 already.

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    1. I KNOW! I think we're in the same numbering neighbourhood, Andrew. All the rodent blogs seem to be centered between 200 and 500. And yes, sometimes I feel like a Nass, sometimes I don't...

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  27. I like Kevin's blog too and I make it policy never to follow animals who write, whether its on blogs or twitter!

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  28. in the uk its ARSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    X

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    1. And in Canada, as a matter of fact! But I was feeling assy today, not arsey. There's a difference, you know. *hoping they don't ask what it is*

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  29. I was going to say that my pet gerbils Bert & Ernie have their own blog to see if you would feel even worse, but I cannot tell a lie. My gerbils do not have a blog. If they did, though, it would be called "We Like Raisins."

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    1. I just want everyone to know that, while I am not a fan of gerbil blogs but I LOVE YOU DAISY. To everyone else, if you're gonna read a blog written by an animal, Daisy's is the one to read. You're the best, Daisy-girl.

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    2. ::blushes, scuffs paw on ground:: Gee, thanks!

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  30. Really, you're not an ass. I appreciated you taking the time to not only read, but comment.. so don't feel bad. The truth is they need to make the comment sections editable because I've done things much, much worse.. telling someone I was addicted to "poop" for example, (I meant to say I was addicted to "pop".. as in Diet Pepsi, but my fingers stuttered. I couldn't get away from that blog fast enough after that one.

    So please, don't feel bad in the least. I really do appreciate your comments. :)

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    1. Here, here Mr. Hiatt! Truth is, this is the most fun I've had in a long time! I must go around calling men women more often!!!!
      *hugs to you - big ones!*

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  31. If I had a dollar for every time I have done something truly cringe making stupid I would be a very wealthy woman.
    And the blogosphere is addictive, but over 1000 posts to get through? When you find the super powers shop please let us know.

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    1. heheheh --- you'll be the first to know, EC!

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  32. Ha ha Cathy I can always rely on you to start my day with a ^________^ - you should set yourself a goal number with the A-Z blogs like say 10-20 max visit the same ones and hopefully they'll visit back, you can't do 'em all gal! Thanks again for the morning laugh.

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    1. I can't? *sob*
      Sigh...
      You're right, Helen, I can't... but I have tried mightily... as of right this minute I've visited (counting on my fingers, 549-165) 384 blogs! Even if I continue at that silly rate I'll only have visited (multiplying 384 by 2) 768 blogs.... I'M SCREWED!!!!!!!!

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  33. Hi Cathy, I went through quite a few of the links before the challenge started to get an idea of the blogs participating. I even started leaving comments before the challenge started, to let people know I had stopped by. All you can do is the best you can do.

    Susanne
    PUTTING WORDS DOWN ON PAPER

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    1. But Susanne, having just done the math (Helen's comment), I'M SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!
      (I just like saying that.)
      I'M SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  34. Hilarious post. The A-Z blog challenge is so fun. Except when you're calling some random man girl. Thanks for posting.

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    1. Heck, Jessica, that's when it's the funnest!!!!

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  35. ROTFLMAO! Your assertion that "N" was for "ass" intrigued me, and I am happy to report I was not disappointed by the explanatory post. After a long and stressful day, I greatly appreciate the laughs, so thank you. :-)

    Some Dark Romantic

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    1. You are SO welcome Mina! Thanks for the follow!

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  36. I don't know if I could handle the rodent blogs, Cathy. Pace yourself!

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    1. Those pesky rodents are a little daunting but you could do it, John! You'd probably use 'em for inspiration for some of that awesome writing you do!

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